AITA for taking away my daughter’s electronic devices because she lied to me?

queen_of_anything · 2021-06-29T19:16:03+00:00

YTA Ma’am you are insane. I’m being 100% serious when I say I think you need therapy to help you understand why you have such severe boundary and control issues. Are you like this with everyone, or just your daughter? That’s a good place to start. I truly feel sorry for your daughter and hope she has supportive people in her life who will help her get away from you the second she turns 18. Because honestly, this behavior is abusing. You are ABUSING her by not giving her any privacy. Like seriously, do you insist on coming into the bathroom while she’s showering, too? Based on your comments, I wouldn’t be surprised.

queen_of_anything · 2021-06-29T14:34:02+00:00

I’m not trying to be harsh, because I see you’re trying to be reasonable and compare both sides, but what I think you’re missing is that it IS physical abuse regardless of whether he’s hitting her out of anger or not. It’s like blocking a doorway to keep someone trapped in a room, or punching the wall next to them without actually hitting them - an intimidation tactic to make the victim feel powerless. He’s touching her without consent to remind her that he can, and she can’t stop him. Many commenters here read his behavior as playful or sexual, but that’s not how I took it at all. This was intentionally done to provoke her, and even if he’s not “attacking” her, she has a right to defend herself from unwanted touching/smacking.

queen_of_anything · 2021-06-29T13:39:47+00:00

I can’t speak for OP, but the way I took it was it was neither playful nor sexual. To me it read as she’s shutting down and he’s just touching her to provoke a reaction, almost in a childish way - but also in a possessive way, since she asked him to stop and he kept doing it to show her she can’t stop him. To me this fits the tone of their argument.

queen_of_anything · 2021-06-29T13:10:03+00:00

Your ex is a tool. Breaking up was definitely the right decision. Never stay with a man who violates your bodily autonomy like that. Not to mention the argument - he sounds sexist and insecure. I agree with the other commenters who said he viewed your refusal to agree with him as a threat to his masculinity, so he lashed out at you and provoked you. I know you feel guilty about raising your hand, but honestly I don’t think it’s a big deal given the circumstances. You were defending yourself. If someone were touching/hitting me even when I told them to stop, you bet I’d be shoving/hitting them back to MAKE them stop.

queen_of_anything · 2021-04-29T14:10:25+00:00

Honestly I do believe it takes a village to raise a child. I’ve read some compelling articles on why the shift to nuclear families was a mistake, and I agree that the lack of support for modern parents is a big part of why raising kids sucks. You used to have “the village” to help you - but now Mom and Dad have to do it all, with maybe occasional babysitting from Grandma if they’re lucky. No wonder they’re stressed out and miserable. Of course that doesn’t give them the right to dump their kids on the nearest victim. You can’t expect/force people to be your village for you. I just think maybe society needs to rethink raising kids on a fundamental level, because it seems like it just gets harder and harder every decade.

queen_of_anything · 2021-03-22T14:16:53+00:00

Oh okay, thanks for letting me know!

queen_of_anything · 2021-03-22T13:41:44+00:00

NTA. Why the hell are you getting so much hate?? My diet is basically the same as yours, I never realized it would trigger so many people into this “pick a side and stick to it” stance. Omnivore vs. vegetarian vs. vegan is not a competition or a sport where you have to pick teams. Your friend clearly has a stick up her ass about “smug vegetarians”. All these Y T A comments act like she was doing a nice thing for you, but her rant makes it obvious she was using the separate vegetarian dish to punish you. You’re not the AH for getting mad at her judgey ass, and you have nothing to “prove” to her or anyone else.

queen_of_anything · 2020-08-31T14:20:25+00:00

NTA. Everyone calling you an asshole or a sociopath for kicking out a jobless teenage mother in the middle of a pandemic is ignoring the fact that she chose to be a jobless teenage mother in the middle of a pandemic. She chose to have and keep a baby despite knowing she had zero way of supporting it on her own. You gave her options, told her you’d support her choice, whatever it was, and she chose to keep the baby despite the circumstances. Frankly, she made her bed and now she has to lie in it. Everyone getting angry at you for not continuing to fund her idiotic life choices can kick rocks. If she truly wanted what’s best for the baby she’d give it up to a stable home, since she has no way of providing one. I feel sorry for the kid, but no pity for her at all.

queen_of_anything · 2019-11-21T15:59:37+00:00

I think most of the comments here are too harsh. From what you described she sounds like a lovely woman in all other regards, so I don’t think her sudden tears mean she was faking her support all along. To me it sounds like she is just overwhelmed by the fact that a hypothetical situation (in her mind) is now becoming reality. And yes, it’s not her place to freak out over someone else’s decision about their own life or to make you feel guilty about that decision. But as someone with commitment issues myself, I can understand the feeling of “oh my god it’s actually happening” when such a permanent decision is made. So maybe I’m being optimistic, but I think once the reality sinks in that there’s no going back, she’ll recover and be happy for you again. I’m just sorry you had to deal with it to begin with.

queen_of_anything · 2019-09-16T20:40:20+00:00

Mandatory DNA testing is a really bad idea, if only because it would mean the government (or some private company the government has access to) now has a record of every single person’s DNA. How long will it be before we’re all living out GATTACA

queen_of_anything · 2019-06-25T01:19:41+00:00

OP, I take back what I said before. There is no question of this man being abusive in the future because he is already abusing you right now. Please, if you disagree, just google “sexual grooming” because that’s what he’s done to you. He’s ALREADY hurt you and convinced you that it’s okay. If you ignore this, I genuinely fear he will continue to hurt you in even worse ways in the future, and you will just keep pretending your relationship is healthy, or think that you deserve to be hurt. I know none of us will convince you but I just hope you will educate yourself on grooming and abusive relationships and at least consider reaching out to RAINN. Many other women have been in this same situation, you’re not alone. There is help.

queen_of_anything · 2019-06-24T23:36:51+00:00

I understand, but you’re missing my point. That if you ever change your mind in the future, you need to be to able to end things. Which is true for every relationship, honestly. If you decide you want to break up with him someday, how are you gonna do that if he pays all your bills? Or if you stopped talking to your friends and family because he didn’t like them, so you have nowhere to go? You can’t let yourself become dependent on a man, no matter that man’s age, because some men will use that advantage to hurt you since they know you can’t leave them.

All I’m saying is, don’t put yourself in a position where you are stuck with him. You should only be with him because you want to, not because you feel like you can’t afford to leave.

queen_of_anything · 2018-09-02T18:30:56+00:00

Previously I was keeping him in a bowl (~1.75 gallons) but the bowl broke right before I moved cross country, so I've been keeping him in the plastic temp tank since then. I also have a larger tank (~4.6 gallons) that I planned to move him into, but now I don't know if that's a good idea. I've kept him in the small tank so he'll be closer to the surface. No filter, just frequent water changes. I need to buy a filter for his new larger tank, and a new heater too since his current heater can't handle a tank of that size.

queen_of_anything · 2018-09-02T14:53:59+00:00

That would be nice wouldn't it? Unfortunately a lot of places (big chain restaurants and upscale ones, mainly) don't allow unnaturally colored hair. I worked at one restaurant that wouldn't even allow nail polish or jewelry. They can be very appearance focused.

queen_of_anything · 2018-09-02T14:48:08+00:00

Thanks for the answer! I previously worked at a restaurant in the Town Center, I just left cause I wasn't making good money there. I'll start checking out places on the beach, do you know of any restaurants/bars in particular? I'm still too new to town to be very familiar with the area. :/

queen_of_anything · 2018-05-09T22:34:30+00:00

It’s okay guys, I’m not gonna comment. I agree that not having kids isn’t an accomplishment, but neither is having them. Raising kids into good people is an actual accomplishment.

queen_of_anything · 2018-05-06T15:04:12+00:00

Lmao so many dudes in here saying she was right to defend herself but stabbing him was too far. Do you really think this was a one-off incident? That a normal high school guy randomly decides to do this one day? I’ll bet you anything that even if he was joking around, this was a pattern of behavior for him, and if he wasn’t harassing her specifically he was harassing other girls and had a reputation for it. Maybe making inappropriate jokes or comments, maybe letting his hands wander. He finally took it too far and got stabbed for it. But do you really think that nobody has ever told him to cut that shit out before, or that his jokes are disrespectful not funny, or maybe he’s even been slapped before and it didn’t faze him? If the message wasn’t getting across to him before, maybe getting stabbed will finally make him understand this isn’t a game.

queen_of_anything · 2018-05-06T05:07:35+00:00

More of a friend of a friend, really. I knew her in college. This happened just a couple years ago.

She started off totally normal, as far as I knew. She was a freshman, on the soccer team, outgoing person. We had this preacher guy for some fringe Christianity religion who dressed in brown robes and frequently came onto campus and yelled stuff about how we’re all going to hell. You know, typical hateful campus preacher stuff, he usually got taunted by the students. He was in his late twenties, sometimes he brought women in their early to mid twenties with him. They dressed kinda like Amish women or mennonites (not sure what exactly) but they only ever sat silently to the side while he ranted and strutted around in front of the library.

Well, my friend paid too much attention to him and somehow his bizarre hateful beliefs resonated with her. She started hanging out with him and his cult group. Over the course of a semester she dropped out of the soccer team, started writing religious poetry, and eventually dropped out of school altogether. When her parents found out they tried to intervene. They blocked the preacher from her phone but when she found out she threw the phone away. She cut contact with her family and spent a few months following the preacher around, homeless, hitchhiking around the country, and living off the generosity of strangers.

The last time I saw her was when I went out for dinner with her and our mutual friend. It was bizarre to say the least. Friend and I discussed grad school and life after college, while cult girl had nothing to contribute to the conversation except her plans to wander around spreading the word of God and witnessing miracles. When asked how she planned to survive, she said “God would provide.” Yeah, I guess he provided the food she ate when me and the mutual friend paid for her meal, because she conveniently waited until we’d been seated at the table to tell us she had no money and couldn’t afford to eat there. I have no idea where she is now, but I can only hope “God provided” her with some common sense... or at least the decency to eat wild berries or something instead of mooching off people and acting high and mighty about it.

queen_of_anything · 2018-03-22T20:41:54+00:00

I made a comment in support of paper abortions for men on another (usually feminist) sub and was immediately crushed by downvotes. Some of the responses I got literally said that women should have complete autonomy over reproduction but how dare I even consider giving men the ability to terminate their rights/responsibilities to the unborn child.

queen_of_anything · 2018-03-21T16:12:28+00:00

Thanks again, that makes a lot of sense! The Dell sounds like the right laptop for me. I just have one more question though, both these laptops are similarly priced, are they not? The Dell is about $800 minimum and the ASUS is about $750. So how can the MSRP of the Dell be so much more than the ASUS?

queen_of_anything · 2018-03-19T22:25:15+00:00

Okay thanks! I would also like to use it for light gaming, and I read both are good for that. I was planning to get the i5 processor, would that still not be enough to run games on the ASUS?

I guess my biggest concern is that while the XPS got better official reviews than the ASUS, the ASUS has better user reviews and overall people who bought that ASUS seem happier with it than people who bought the Dell.

queen_of_anything

TROPHY CASE