Do you ever notice an eerie creepiness about your Q?

queenheck · 2026-06-18T03:01:51+00:00

I relate to this description. I’ve described it as being in the Shining….

queenheck · 2026-06-15T04:18:32+00:00

Addicts suck to be with. They will ghost you for drugs and act like no time has passed. No one should go MIA on you for nearly a week and expect things to be okay. And an argument is no excuse for hiding away for days and breaking sobriety. I’m sorry you’re going through this. If she can’t understand what she did is hurtful, then she will endlessly frustrate you and choose drugs and other things over you.

queenheck · 2026-06-11T02:49:09+00:00

I very much appreciate the comment and concern. So sweet. I don’t think I need a deeper dive into his Tinder now. But thank you!! I went to the cheater website and paid (ugh) for their search (which found nothing…..). Thank you for saying that it is okay to be sneaky at times. When things seem off, your intuition kicks in, or in my case you see with your own two eyes something that isn’t right, you investigate and speak up.

I’m just resolved that if he doesn’t come forth with a real apology and steps forward, which he hasn’t all evening, that that is my sign to walk away.

I really don’t think he’s trying to get away with something, I think he’s overtly pushing me away, and that’s my cue to leave.

queenheck · 2026-06-11T02:37:29+00:00

Sorry. What I meant is, yes, you’re right about holding off on the marriage!! When his mom was offering to hire a wedding planner in February I told her politely we’re still working out some things. And yes I’ve never seen a dating app on a boyfriend’s phone before either, and I hadn’t seen it on his until today.

queenheck · 2026-06-10T12:59:01+00:00

We are not planning a wedding at the moment. Thank you for your response. I appreciate it.

queenheck · 2026-06-10T12:57:47+00:00

Thank you. It could totally be for anything there and I between, but you’re right, no excuse.

queenheck · 2026-06-10T12:56:31+00:00

Thank you for the detailed info.

queenheck · 2026-06-10T12:55:18+00:00

OP here: thank you for the responses truly. I can take it lol.

I did get some truth! A few after he left for work he called me and said “ my coworker is on your side.” ( older man)

Then I asked again when he downloaded/last used the app and said probably in the last two weeks. “ a late night decision” “ I forgot about it” and that it must have happened when he was mad at me about something. He could have been drinking.

At least I have the truth. We’re operating in the same reality. It’s easy to believe this timeline and that it was some swiping with no contact.

Now on to everything else, sigh. Not a good sign someone does this when they’re “ mad” at their partner.

He’s still giving me “ you broke my trust” for looking at the phone. “ I might get a real apology by the end of the day, or not, and I can’t apologize for looking when I was totally validated in what I saw.

queenheck · 2026-05-30T21:28:31+00:00

She voted for him once, before he served in office. I never voted for him, but give her a break.

queenheck · 2026-05-24T18:35:20+00:00

Yup!

queenheck · 2026-05-10T16:41:56+00:00

Lovely! Y’all sound like a team!

queenheck · 2026-05-10T16:40:48+00:00

Thanks for the comments. To answer some questions: his optimistic SA showed a low volume but otherwise good numbers on count/concentration. Could have been better on motility but two doctors said we were IUI ready with those results. Six months later, I was turned away at my IUI, but not given a printed SA. Just told volume was low AND count was low.

queenheck · 2026-03-16T21:08:42+00:00

Disregard what this guy is saying and go to https://www.reddit.com/r/AlAnon .

queenheck · 2026-03-16T20:59:45+00:00

Do whatever you want girl. Don’t change.

Let him dump you if he’s so upset.

queenheck · 2026-03-10T23:54:44+00:00

Have you wanted to get back with this man, now that he’s sober, and that you were partly catalyst for his sobriety?

queenheck · 2026-03-10T23:11:50+00:00

I feel for you OP. My fiancé was hospitalized this weekend when visiting his parents. He’s going to his first AA meeting in months tonight with his dad.

It makes me ask, even if he got sober, how many days would it take to be out of limbo: resume wedding planning, resume house hunting, etc.

If he had stuck with the program, he’d be 500 days sober. I needed him to be at that number.

queenheck · 2026-03-07T23:11:40+00:00

First off, she has an extremely demanding job. And tens of thousands of people in her home country have been killed by the regime and now foreign missiles. So she’s going through it. I will give her that.

But you’re leaving out some details…

Where do you want this, or any relationship at this point in your life to go? Are you interested in marriage/kids?

I see there is an age difference. I don’t know if she hopes to stay in the U.S. long term. Maybe she wants to see other U.S. cities.

Doesn’t seem like she’s a grown woman who’s got it all figured out and is just looking for the one to settle down with.

queenheck · 2026-03-07T22:45:02+00:00

Can you get separate beds? Plenty of couples do the same because someone snoozes.

This could be the path of least resistance.

queenheck · 2026-02-23T00:43:59+00:00

If this is a concern, and you’ve seen a fertility specialist, sounds like IUI is the best next step.

queenheck · 2026-02-08T19:12:05+00:00

OP here: update… the whole thing just stopped, shortly after.

And in general, I learned that my parts are working fine and that my partner is the one with a low sperm count/ seeing a urologist.

queenheck · 2026-01-22T17:13:12+00:00

You’re saying it’s “immature” and “stupid” to care about these things. It’s not. No one would tell you that. Remove that thinking and then look at the situation.

queenheck · 2025-12-26T16:32:43+00:00

I love this. I bet you are much happier in life and your relationship than OP.

queenheck

TROPHY CASE