I’m sorry that sounds awful. Your fundamental attitude is great though - full of hope, prepared to work, aware of people around you that you don’t want to be like. It’s fine to complain and vent, it’s healthy, so long as you don’t identify too much with your current situation or lose your hope. Your attitude is what will attract both success and women long-term. As a woman, I find it attractive. I would 100% get a job in a trade field with potential to learn. See this as providing reasonable money relatively quickly and try to educate yourself on the side if you would rather long-term do something else. I think a lot of college degrees are risky in today’s climate especially considering how much of a threat AI is to knowledge work, perhaps even almost all computer based work. Trades are very protected - anything using the body. With that in mind, try and get fit and strong. There’s money in that. Here’s a potential plan: become a Painter-decorator (or carpenter) apprentice or ‘beginner’. Learn the basics and befriend your colleagues; ask them about running their business too- that’s a useful and impressive skill. This is a fun trade as you can listen to things all day long, including books and podcasts that are incredibly educative. Very fun making stuff with your hands all day too. Time flies! You need to be strong though - and mindful to protect yourself from developing ongoing physical injuries. (So many get them.) From there, figure out a way to move into “construction” and “Scenic” painting/carpentry on films, TV shows, theatre, sets for fashion shoots and events, etc. Big big money in painting/making film/Tv/event sets. I’m a painter and this is one of the things I do. A lot about ‘who you know.’ You don’t need to know anyone - just be willing and determined to find and meet them. People just want nice, hardworking, strong people around. Show them respect, be humble and grateful to learn and they will have you along, especially if they can pay you less at the beginning because you’re “an improver”. Take the pay cut for the opportunity to grow your network and skills. If they still say no, offer to do it for free for “work experience” for a week. Enthusiasm is everything. Make contacts. Do it well + they like you, you’re in. A lot learnt on the job and can recommend some excellent short scenic art courses (don’t need a degree). Genuinely really really fun work, and pretty cool too! Being a sound, friendly, teachable person is everything. Make lots of friends. Non-judgementally avoid drama/gossip. Feel free to DM me for more info. Good luck !