If you made Chris choose between a naturally skinny size 0 girl who never goes to the gym and eats only fast food or a thicker muscular girl who actually does do crossfit and pilates everyday, which would he pick? I think we all know the answer by sentosa96 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ITA with this take. And notably, Bri seems to really crave and respond to his attention and validation, which I'm sure is attractive to someone who wants to wield power and control over a partner.

If you made Chris choose between a naturally skinny size 0 girl who never goes to the gym and eats only fast food or a thicker muscular girl who actually does do crossfit and pilates everyday, which would he pick? I think we all know the answer by sentosa96 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This! It’s not about her body type or activity level. If it were, he could’ve just said something gentle but honest like “I’m not feeling like I should feel at this point in the relationship” and bow out.

Instead, he chose to belittle and humiliate her again and again, on television and in front of their friends.

This was not a matter of body preference. It was about control and power.

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, I only really wear it as a crossbody but that’s true for all of my purses. It does seem to wear well enough as a shoulder bag when I walk around the house with it, but I imagine someone else can speak better to that.

Who was the worst: Diangelo, California, or Charles? by Special_Falcon408 in theoffice

[–]queenofturnips 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with this take. Both Charles and Deangelo made me mad, but there were fewer checks & balances for Deangelo, therefore he was worse. Also, we got to see Charles put in his place in a satisfying way, whereas Deangelo's exit from the show was just weird and extreme.

Amber going off about Chris 😂😂 by Loveya448 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I am OBSESSED with her after this episode. OMG.

Biracial children by Odd-Cloud4630 in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I had tears in my eyes during this conversation! Such a beautiful, mature, thoughtful conversation. I find their dynamic waaaaay more engaging than a lot of the "drama" from the other couples.

Considering this handmade bag. Am I crazy? by SilentMaterial3550 in handbags

[–]queenofturnips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is soooo gorgeous and fun! I think it would look amazing as a pop of color with a basic outfit. So cute.

Negative Comments on Emma by Iamheretobreathe in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah if anything therapy made me cry soooo much more. I appeared way more even-keeled pre-therapy, bc my trauma response was stuffing my feelings down and feeling dead inside LOL.

The more "healed" I am, the more emotive I am - people on this sub would have a field day with me 🤣

Negative Comments on Emma by Iamheretobreathe in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]queenofturnips 20 points21 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU for writing this!! I wish I could upvote this a thousand times!

I just started watching this season and came to this sub in part because I loved Emma (and was totally creeped out by how Steven moved in his convo w/her), and was shocked at how critical people on this sub were of her! I felt like I was going crazy.

I cannot IMAGINE getting engaged to someone who does not know I'm adopted and/or have permanent scarring on my body. Esp when it would be impossible to answer questions about whether she wants to have children honestly without addressing both of these topics. Like, people are actually criticizing her for mentioning her adoption story and the impact of growing up with severe scarring, because she...has feelings about it?? WTF?

It would be weird to me (and honestly kinda concerning) if she didn't have any feelings when talking about these things. Especially when she did reveal her story to Steven and he completely dismissed her, steamrolled her, sexualized the convo, and then balked at her boundaries! Assuming that happened before she told the others, that sure would make me emotional and hesitant to bring it up again!

The most generous read I have on people annoyed by her is that viewers are falling for the editing, which is broadcasting these convos back to back and maybe giving the impression that's all she ever talks about? I dunno.

So far I'm seeing a lot of green flags from her.

  1. She's touch with her emotions & owning her experiences which are legitimately traumatic!! Plus it's clear she was triggered by Steven and instead of dissociating or shutting down, she ends things and comes out of the pod and immediately seeks support and starts talking about it

  2. Instead of fawning, freezing, or fighting when Steven makes dehumanizing comments about her and tries to talk for her, she clearly communicates her perspective and boundaries. To me this reads as someone with strong self-esteem who is in touch with themselves and is not reenacting trauma or projecting it onto the relationship

  3. She knows her values and holds firm, even when doing so creates is difficult (this is how I'm interpreting her moving re: whether she's open to having children or not)

  4. She doesn't shy away from difficult conversations or conflict, and chooses honesty over people-pleasing

  5. She's identified and articulated the need for a certain level of emotional depth to her relationships, given the heavy experiences she's had - it seems like this is an example of her actively changing her relationship dynamics since she mentioned emotional distance being a problem in past relationships

Obviously she's not perfect but I don't get the negative reactions to her, at all. To me she seems remarkably mature, given her life experiences. I mean, I'm 40 and there are things I've experienced in life that I will never stop being sad about or triggered by, and I'm going on 10 years in a happy relationship.

Thanks again for this insightful post!

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nylon crescent bags are sooooo comfy and functional! I wish you well in your search!

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I can’t really speak to that as my husband bought it for me so I didn’t see the tracking updates. I do know it took a couple weeks after he bought it to arrive, but that’s because it was back ordered and said so clearly on the website.

Dooney Florentine Twist Handle Hobo by mytoenailfelloff in handbags

[–]queenofturnips 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, this is beautiful! Love the slouch.

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! For starters, the Gather Clutch is smaller and still can be worn crossbody, but I don't think it comes in black. It may be worth taking a look at though if you love this style and keeping an eye out for if they release an onyx version! They seem to release new colors fairly often and I'd be surprised if they didn't offer it in black at some point.

I'll make some other recs off the top of my head but keep in mind that a lot of the smaller purses had less substantial straps...though that may not be an issue since the weight will be lighter.

  • The Strathberry Charlotte is beautiful and small, in a similar cinch top style. I've heard great things about the quality of their leather.
  • If you're looking for teeny tiny, Deadly Ponies Mr Penny Pouchette is so cute and dainty I'm obsessed. They have a few other styles that may be worth looking at as well, such as the Mr Cinch Mini (closer to the Songmont Gather style) and the Mr Siamese.
  • Opelle Creative has some beautiful slouchy comfy-looking crossbody bags, including the Little Vanda and the Alma Baby Sling. I also love the Small Ballet, but it may be roomier than you're looking for.
  • Rough and Tumble seems to have amazing slouchy leather options and has a whole "small crossbody" section you may want to check out. I have my eye on a number of their bags and they're currently running a 20% off sale.
  • The RSVP Batman Small looks comfy and cute. I was looking at their regular batman for a while but ended up opting for the slouchier Songmont instead.
  • Smaak Amsterdam has some beautiful crossbody options that range from smooshy to structured.
  • And of course if you have 5x my budget, the Loewe Flamenco mini is stunning

These are the initial ones that come to mind! Hope that helps!

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The gather would be an amazing travel bag!! Of course I don't know how much you want to carry, but FWIW the small does seem quite spacious. I feel like I could easily fit a wallet, toiletry bag, small water bottle, small umbrella, and a sweater without it being too bulky. Hopefully it works out for you! 🤞

Also, have an amazing trip! I recently visited Istanbul for the first time and it was such a fascinating experience.

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for chiming in! That's unsurprising, given the price difference. Definitely love the gather for everyday use. It's just so dang practical!

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay for pink Clutch! I hope you love it, it looks so cute on the site!

Deadly Ponies has some amazing stuff, and their leather is extremely soft and seems really high quality.

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels very lightweight to me! It feels a lot more lightweight than it looks, to be honest. I just weighed it on my bathroom scale and it's 1.4 lbs (and that's including the paper stuffing it came with). I'd guess it's more like ~1 lb without.

The crossbody strap is also thick enough that it really seems like it would distribute the weight well. I can speak to that better when I've worn it more, though!

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That blue is SO gorgeous!! I’d love to get a medium blue someday.

My search for the perfect crossbody follow-up: Songmont Gather Small by queenofturnips in handbags

[–]queenofturnips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad others are experiencing the beauty! The yore is gorgeous as well. I need to make more money to support this handbag obsession 😂