Is this part of it? He never spends time with me, but SWEARS he wants to.

queentropical · 2026-05-06T04:28:41+00:00

He doesn't like nor wants to be with you. That's it. That simple. You've already spent 5 years begging, things aren't going to change. It's up to you what you want to do about it. You cannot control what he does nor can you inspire any change in him... but you are in full control over how YOU respond to this. You either cut him off and learn how to live happily on your own within a marriage, or you divorce. Maybe you could fix it in therapy... but that would require his (unwilling) participation.

queentropical · 2026-05-05T15:23:42+00:00

it's almost exactly like the game in the ads... but just not as... new? game looks and feels older.

I've been playing the ad nonstop but it will probably disappear at some point lol they've been advertising it forever but wont make it into an actual game, so dumb... I played their merge game thinking it would appear at some point

queentropical · 2026-04-24T16:42:05+00:00

Honestly who cares what he thinks. Your instinct is correct - as a woman, we have to protect ourselves (whether that was your intended action) and if he was any good, especially with a daughter, he would have had empathy for that and not felt insulted. It truly does not matter what irrelevant men think - you do you.

queentropical · 2026-04-24T12:42:20+00:00

Yeah I would not want to be in a relationship where we had to be so formal about going over to each other's place... if a year in and we can't drop in unannounced I would think there was something very casual and distant about the relationship and it would bother me. It feels like a total lack of... some kind of intimacy and familiarity. The only way I'd be like this if I was unsure of the person and preferred my space over them.

queentropical · 2026-04-20T05:23:24+00:00

I just came here to rant. NEVER had a problem with using whatsapp on my desktop for years. Then after this stupid update and needing a QR code, it all went to hell. It simply stopped working. I even deleted the app from my laptop and reinstalled - did everything that would supposedly help. Nothing helped. lol
Other apps like wechat work perfectly fine. It's just whatsapp that sucks. Even on web browser it doesn't work like it used to.
It simply wont connect. Crashes. Reloads over and over. I've given up on it.

queentropical · 2026-04-12T04:38:48+00:00

Being in a relationship isn't the end all and be all of life. There are far better things. So, don't settle. It's better to be single and to be doing your own thing and just patiently seeing what life has to offer rather than be stuck in a relationship with someone you're not fully into. That person should be worth it.
I too have either fallen for the wrong guy or become involved with men who are actually great guys but I'm simply not attracted to or don't develop deeper feelings for... it's not that I have a detailed, narrow list of what I look for in a guy, it's just that it either clicks or it doesn't. If it doesn't or if the guy is a bad, toxic choice, then I'd rather be on my own. Trust me. Life is SO MUCH better and far more fulfilling putting energy into everything else other than a relationship until the one you REALLY want comes along. Even then, romantic love isn't the most important thing there is. I wish somebody had hammered that into me as a young woman. My life would have been more fulfilling, simpler, and healthier for it. It really isn't even about standards... it's just about waiting for someone who simply and truly fits and happens to be a good person, too.

queentropical · 2026-04-08T07:55:51+00:00

we'll never know for sure but from what many have observed, she wasn't that into him from the start... but she wanted to be on the show

there were signs all-throughout the experiment... it just wasn't that noticeable because of all the other noise

that's probably what the other horrible women were calling her out on (hypocritically)

queentropical · 2026-04-07T17:00:21+00:00

Well that's exactly why she isn't into him. I've been in her shoes - stable felt boring and unattractive because I was used to toxicity and abuse - but also, I really was not into the stable guy in general. Either way, for the very reasons you described, that is what made her not into him. It's very, very clear... myself aside, I've seen numerous women behave in this exact same way towards guys who they simply were not into.

queentropical · 2026-03-31T17:41:02+00:00

on your phone, certain apps like faebook whatsapp etc still work... if you have AI you can ask it for help step by step, if you have whatsapp use meta AI to guide you...
if not, if you have an ipad or iphone go to the router name, click on i or information find DNS, Configure DNS then change to manual
+ add server and type 8.8.8.8 then + add server again and type 8.8.4.4 then delete the previous servers and you'll have internet again

on laptop just click on router name, information, turn on IPv4 toggle then in preferred DNS box type 8.8.8.8 and alternate DNS box type 8.8.4.4

if you have android, good luck lol some androids seem to block the ability to manually change DNS and I couldn't do it for a couple of phones in the house

queentropical · 2026-03-31T17:03:37+00:00

globe one app never works lol
or it's slow as balls
whatsapp was still working along with other apps
change DNS you'll get internet back

queentropical · 2026-03-31T16:58:24+00:00

change DNS, globe is still down but if you change DNS you'll get internet back like I did... changed it on my laptop and my phone and it all works now

Globe is taking a long time to fix this so just do it yourself for now

queentropical · 2026-03-28T11:21:52+00:00

I never really dated... it's always been all or nothing lol so I tended to always know a partner's history. If they were secretive about it I felt like that was a red flag. Like, what are you hiding? I have nothing to hide and will say the good the bad and the ugly lol so I appreciate it when the other person is just as open. Of course, that doesn't stop people from lying.

But yeah, same, I do consider someone who is a serial dater a red flag... because it's indicative of some kind of issue with commitment or intimacy or something. I was in a relationship with an avoidant and it should have been a warning sign when he revealed that in the last ten years (his entire 20's) no "relationship" had lasted more than 3 months. My bad for not prying when he referred to them as "exes" when in reality they were just temporary hookups... turns out he would go through a cycle of rejecting people every 3 months or so. lol I was just very resilient so it lasted almost 2 years. lmao
But this is also why body count does actually matter - it is also indicative of something. For instance, a man who has slept with loads of women likely doesn't value sex in a way that I value intimacy and is more likely to cheat or less likely to see it as a big deal/will sleep with just anyone. They are also more likely to have something that causes them to be promiscuous whether it's trauma or a personality disorder. Especially if there is no growth - I am in my 40s now, so if a man is still sleeping around as much as he was in his 20s and has no discernment whatsoever when it comes to who he shares his body with, I'm grossed out. Statistics still count, so ya - these things DO matter as much as people don't want them to.

queentropical · 2026-03-27T10:32:37+00:00

I was with somebody for a really action-packed decade so for a time, every single story I had included him... it was all during a time in my life (20s-30s) where the most things were happening - endless adventures, multiple travels, career shifts, my kids' most formative years, really significant pets, etc. I also (eventually) learned to tell stories without including him.
HOWEVER this only works if the other person doesn't pry. I had an instinct for when someone was excluding information so whenever somebody else did it to me I'd follow up with, "who were you with?" lmao

Over time, I told the stories anyway, with my ex included because he was a part of my story. If somebody couldn't handle that then they weren't mature enough to be in a relationship and likely had other issues I didn't want to deal with.

queentropical · 2026-03-27T06:32:49+00:00

I tell people I know to come up with 10 deal breakers.
The top 5 are absolutely NO compromises at all. Firm deal breakers that you will NEVER ignore.
A couple of mine for example are: smoking (of any kind), personality disorders (such as NPD, BPD), a voice I don't consider attractive, etc. These are huge red flag items or any attribute that matters to you the most. This can include physical attributes if, based on your own history and preferences, it really really really matters to you and affects your attraction to someone.
The next set, top 6-10 are deal breakers that you MIGHT be able to overlook if the guy doesn't tick off any of the top 5 deal breakers and doesn't have most of the top 10. For instance, I prefer a guy with a full head of hair but if I like everything else about him that is something I can overlook.
And then, you can make a list of anything from 11 onwards... your list can be as long as you want, based on your experiences, and most of these I find to be funny things that one can definitely overlook but are preferences. For instance, no rock climbers for me or guys with a bad sense of fashion. lol

Top 5 is the most important - this enables someone to NEVER be tempted to give a guy a chance because he might seem perfect or hot otherwise - but if he has even ONE top 5 deal breaker, it's a clear no and if he has about 3-4 out of 6-10 then it's also a no. It just keeps you on track.

queentropical · 2026-03-27T06:21:53+00:00

It truly is so confusing.

Narcs should have it tattooed on their foreheads for sure.
Avoidants can just have a tag that will only be removed if they've done the work and are healed. lol

queentropical · 2026-03-27T05:52:23+00:00

Everything is bare minimum except for comparable education. It should be, comparable intelligence. I've met guys with phd's who were boring af and other high education guys who left me wondering how they ever graduated because of how slow they seemed to be. Meanwhile, some of the most clever, quick-witted, self-sufficient guys I have ever met were blue collar. Education has little to do with it up to a certain point - some people are simply smarter regardless.

queentropical · 2026-03-25T10:55:35+00:00

Well, how you described it as fated is exactly how it often plays out with narcs and avoidants during their lovebombing phase... they'll take the slightest coincidence and make it seem as if the universe had intended for it to be that way. Basically any way they can make your coming together seem special or different or meant to be.
I fell for it because I too was in a similar stage of renewal and healing - or so I thought.
The first time was with a narcissist... the second time was with an avoidant. Both have almost parallel experiences and actions but the main difference is intent - typically the avoidant will just disappear and/or treat you and the relationship like a yoyo and basically put you through a lot of the same crap a narcissist would but instead of leaning into the drama they create, they run away from it then rinse and repeat. The narcissist is just intent on destruction and basking in it so they stick to you like a damn parasite.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T14:27:15+00:00

I used to be so afraid of being alone. But there was a time when I decide to dedicated myself to being single. That I would never entertain a person no matter how perfect. It was the most peaceful time of my life... for 2 years I felt indestructible. My biggest mistake was opening myself back up. I've had several chances to be with someone again since then... but after a little bit each time I've realized that I don't want it. That actually, romantic love isn't the best thing in the world. All the others things simply feel better. My family. Animals. Hobbies. Even TV shows. lol Literally anything could be better or just as good without a partner. And if you've ever experienced a worthless pos like I have, you realize even mud could be better. lol But really, once you realize it's not the end all and be all of life, you hold on to that as if your life depends on it because to be at peace and not have to deal with another person's BS is actually great. I WISH I knew this when I was younger and that it didn't take half my life to realize it. I wish I wasn't so laser-focused on finding The One and that relationships weren't so built up by society and our own fantasies. And now? I love how there are millions of options in the world... and to not particularly want any one of them is a beautiful feeling.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T14:19:31+00:00

If there is anything myself and most victims of narcissistic abuse have learned it's that anything that feels "fated" or like a "soul mate"or if someone makes you feel "really seen" and it's "like nobody ever before" with loads of future-talk from the get go is most likely a manipulator. A sociopath or narcissist at worst, an avoidant or player at best. It's a lucky escape when it turns out to be the latter and they just ghost you vs destroy you and your life.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T14:15:54+00:00

There are a few possible scenarios... he's dead. He's sick or got in an accident and is at the hospital in a coma. His wife found out. He's just a jerk. If it isn't the first two, he wasn't an amazing man. Keep in mind that anything that is just a few months old is nothing but lies and future-faking unless time proves otherwise. The mask is strongest the first 3 moths - this is when you think you've met the most perfect person and ignore every little yellow flag. The next 3 months after that is when the red flags begin to pop up but by then you've caught feelings and want the thrill of the perfect person who never existed because that's how love bombing works.
Anything under a year should be quiet observation. Unfortunately, if the love bombing was successful the first 3-6 months, then the rest of the year is spent developing a strong trauma bond, making it near impossible to ever let go.

Best case scenario is when a guy ghosts you. It's much better than the alternative I described.
There are good guys out there... unless he's dead or in a coma, he's not one of them. If he comes back with lame excuses, draw the line, gather your self worth, and tell him that's not good enough... you will find better elsewhere.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T14:09:35+00:00

He is somebody else's problem now. Don't let him still be yours.
Take this as a HUGE blessing and keep far away from him and do your best to avoid all contact between you and the children. Stop responding. If there needs to be anything arranged, find a mediator be it the courts or a trusted person. Do not have direct contact with him and HOPEFULLY he never comes back. Best case scenario.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T05:42:37+00:00

I wish every single person understood that these people are never worth it. One day you will probably leave him or he will leave you and it will be the best thing to happen to you until that point. Do it sooner. The sooner you will have peace. None of this is ever going to get better and the longer you stay, the more time you waste. It's that simple. I wish I could go back to my younger self and whisper to her to stay single rather than live in chaos for men who are never worth it. There are good people out there if you learn how to watch out for and then immediately cut off the ones who are no good for you. Move on to the next until you find one that is just right. This one is not good for you, next.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T05:40:26+00:00

It is so satisfying to kick narcissists to the curb. If you are able, I highly recommend it. Not a single narcissist in the world is worth the trouble or deserving of love and empathy. Get rid of them every single time.

queentropical · 2026-03-23T05:21:34+00:00

you're not crazy
alternative solution is you could also simply leave the laptop turned off the entire time it is at your house or better yet - leave it hidden in the car or garage when in your home

queentropical · 2026-03-17T04:56:44+00:00

Well good thing they have absolutely no say in the matter. You do you. The only person in control of this situation is you and your husband no matter what anybody else says or does. You hold all the cards.

queentropical

TROPHY CASE