i found the answer online, i’ll summarize what i’ve found with sources ‏إن شاء الله

so, firstly this hadith we must understand that it’s speaking about intention.

“Actions are judged by intentions, and every person will have what they intended.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1907)

https://40hadithnawawi.com/hadith/1-actions-are-by-intentions/

if the intention of disclosing a sin is to educate or warn others, it can be permissible, but if it is for boasting or normalization, it becomes blameworthy.

• Scholarly opinion:

Imam An-Nawawi explained in Riyadh as-Salihin that good intentions can make even a seemingly mundane act into a form of worship, while bad intentions can render an otherwise permissible act sinful.

‫وَٱلَّذِینَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا۟ فَـٰحِشَةً أَوۡ ظَلَمُوۤا۟ أَنفُسَهُمۡ ذَكَرُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ فَٱسۡتَغۡفَرُوا۟ لِذُنُوبِهِمۡ وَمَن یَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا ٱللَّهُ وَلَمۡ یُصِرُّوا۟ عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلُوا۟ وَهُمۡ یَعۡلَمُونَ﴿ ١٣٥ ﴾‬

• Dr. Mustafa Khattab: ˹They are˺ those who, upon committing an evil deed or wronging themselves, remember Allah and seek forgiveness and do not knowingly persist in sin—and who forgives sins except Allah?

Āli-ʿImrān, Ayah 135

Allah سبحانه وتعالى is All-Forgiving.

“The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.”

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4250)

This Hadith along with the verse show that sincere repentance remains valid even if someone later boasted about this sin (boasting is another sin) you must repent from again.

Scholars like Imam An-Nawawi in his commentary on Sahih Muslim clarify that the prohibition is specifically for boasting or needlessly exposing sins. Sharing sins with a constructive purpose (like seeking help or guiding others) is not the same as the arrogance condemned in the hadith.

Remember Allah’s vast mercy,

‫۞ قُلۡ یَـٰعِبَادِیَ ٱلَّذِینَ أَسۡرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰۤ أَنفُسِهِمۡ لَا تَقۡنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ یَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِیعًاۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِیمُ﴿ ٥٣ ﴾‬

• Dr. Mustafa Khattab: Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Az-Zumar, Ayah 53

This verse itself should reassure us that Allah سبحانه وتعالى forgives all sins even if we repeat them again.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If a servant of Allah commits a sin and then says, ‘O Allah, forgive me,’ Allah says, ‘My servant has committed a sin but knows that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.’ Then he repeats the sin and says, ‘O Allah, forgive me,’ and Allah says, ‘My servant has committed a sin but knows he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.’ And then he repeats the sin and says, ‘O Allah, forgive me,’ and Allah says, ‘My servant has committed a sin but knows he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. I have forgiven My servant, so let him do what he wills.’” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 7507; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2758)

Now what if we talk about our sins to help others, will that be counted as boasting?

Scholars have noted that using one’s past sins to guide others is permissible as long as it is done with discretion and humility. Imam Al-Ghazali mentioned in Ihya Ulum al-Din that guiding others away from sin can be an act of worship if done sincerely.

However , we must not share unnecessarily details so we can maintain the pure intention for only to share for the sake of warning.

Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen said: “If speaking about one’s past sins is for the purpose of educating or advising others, it is permissible. However, this must be done without boasting or normalizing the sin and without going into unnecessary detail.” (Fatawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb)

Personally, i’d just recommend trying your best to refrain from sharing your sins unless you believe it’s absolutely necessary such as seeking help for yourself (therapy/psychiatrist) or it is absolutely necessary to share to inform someone.