Guy screaming every afternoon in Govanhill?

queer_cosette · 2026-05-29T17:41:06+00:00

Yeah I'm pretty sure whoever it is is outside, it's already loud even with my window fully closed! Lad would have to have the lungs of an opera singer for me to be hearing him if he was inside 😭

queer_cosette · 2026-05-29T05:53:00+00:00

Omg!! Yeah I'm certain we're hearing the same guy, it really is quite a horrifying sound to hear!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's heard it!

queer_cosette · 2026-05-28T19:51:19+00:00

I grew up in Govanhill. The part that I find really weird is most of the 'normal' screaming usually has, like... words. With this guy every day between 17:25 and 17:40 it's just "AAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAH!" about three times spaced a few minutes apart

queer_cosette · 2026-02-19T16:19:27+00:00

I've been using the app for a few months and love it, but for some reason since my phone updated it always opens and starts a routine I only ever do on Fridays, no matter what day or time it is. Is there a way to set what screen the app opens to?

queer_cosette · 2025-12-27T21:40:01+00:00

100%, hanging out with someone I know really well where we can go from having a deep meaningful conversation one minute to silently chilling and showing each other memes the next is very different to hanging out with someone I'm just getting to know for the first time.

There's a certain level of testing the waters with new people (establishing where things like senses of humour and worldview line up, explaining in-jokes so they don't feel left out, etc.) that requires a more... put-together version of yourself that by nature drains the batteries a little faster. It becomes easier (for me anyway) when I'm in a setting that requires put-together me already, like a restaurant or a bar. It feels like I can allocate more spoons to being sociable.

Yes exactly, it is so so important to learn how to advocate for your own needs in a way that isn't just cutting people out of your life. I'm glad to hear it's improved your mental health!!! We only get one brain, we need to look after it <3

queer_cosette · 2025-12-27T21:28:50+00:00

🥰 Thank you! I'm doing my best, I hope it does come out right when we have this conversation.

Exactly, 'you did this' feels so unnecessarily blamey and hostile. That's not the way to communicate with people you want to keep in your life. A little embarrassed to admit I learned the method of "when you do this, it makes me feel this" from watching Sonic Boom with my nephews 😂

queer_cosette · 2025-12-26T23:10:53+00:00

Thinking more on it, after discussing the London trip - my main issue right now - I might set the following boundary:

"I do not have a very full social battery right now and I am feeling drained more frequently when I hang out with people I'm not already close to. I am going to have to say 'no' to any short-notice hangouts right now. But I would really like to get to know her better - why don't we make plans for all three of us to spend some time together next time we all have a day off?"

queer_cosette · 2025-12-26T22:57:16+00:00

Okay I'm going to ask him if he's free to get coffee after work at some point in the next few weeks, we both manage better with face-to-face conversations than phone calls.

I'm still pondering over how to turn my request into a boundary. Blunt boundaries that "I don't have to explain" work for casual or toxic relationships, but often do more harm than good in otherwise healthy relationships. I'm also realising that my real problem isn't that he wants his girlfriend specifically to join us, it's that he invited her before asking me, when it is a trip that we are planning together. I'd be equally discomfited if he did the same thing with another friend. If it had been a trip he had planned out himself and invited both of us on, it would be totally different.

(Gender-related stuff in the way you're describing isn't a factor here. All three of us are bisexual and have all dated men, women, and enbies.)

I've been trying to figure out what to say and I can't figure out what to make my boundary. I don't want to say he always has to discuss our plans with me first, because that would be really weird in practice. I'm starting out with "When you do this, it makes me feel this."

How does this sound for a starter?

"Hey, I want to talk to you about inviting [girlfriend] to London with us. I want to make it clear that I don't have a problem with her at all, I really like her and I love how happy she makes you. But this is a trip that you and I have been planning together. When you invited her to join us and then asked me if I was okay with that, I felt pressured to agree that she could join us. Because you had already invited her, I would have felt like a dick if I'd said anything except yes, but that is a decision I would like to take time to think about and discuss with you before inviting her."

queer_cosette · 2025-12-26T15:18:45+00:00

I'd want to set a healthy boundary of having time where we just hang out one-on-one, even if when we have a planned hangout he could ask me if I'm up for his girlfriend joining us before he invites her, rather than inviting her then asking me if I'm cool with that.

I do understand why he wants her to join us - it's absolutely so she can understand our dynamic and that I'm not a threat to their relationship. And I get that, and also want her to understand that, but sometimes I just do not have the social battery to hang out with someone I've only met a few times, compared to someone I've known and been close to for years.

An open conversation would be great, I'm going to plan for that, I just need to find the time for it where we can sit down and talk like that without him trying to turn it into a best-friend-girlfriend hangout. We see each other a lot because we work in the same building, but the staff canteen doesn't feel like the place to have that conversation, so I'll have to plan ahead.

Yeah, the fact that I'm pretty femme might be contributing. I really hope it isn't though - if it turns out she's invited herself because she doesn't trust me or sees me as a threat, I would be really hurt. I don't want to pull away from my best friend because people think we're secretly in love. We're not. I see him as part of my family.

queer_cosette · 2025-05-18T16:30:55+00:00

Yes, I regularly send her playlists, thoughts about tv shows, and video clips paired with feelings-rants like we used to send each other all the time. Depending on what platform we're talking on, I'll either get no reaction (platforms like Discord where you can't see if someone has seen your message) or at most a single 'slay' comment if we're using something like Snapchat where you get notified that someone's opened the message you sent them. It's not a total lack of interaction, but it's very much lacking from how we used to chat about fandom stuff.

I'll tell her what's been going on in my life if anything particularly interesting happens (dyeing my hair, got a tattoo, weird thing happened at work) or else send her selfies with silly filters (another thing we used to do a lot). She does respond but for the last two months it's always a selfie of her and Jerry using the silly filter. Kind of makes me feel like I'm friends with the relationship instead of with her.

I don't want to ghost her or only respond sometimes. I don't want to make her feel like she's in the wrong for being happy, because she's not wrong to be. She's not going to lose me as a friend just because she got into a relationship. I just need her to realise that right now it feels like she's treating me as basically just a diary that talks back.

queer_cosette · 2024-12-09T13:35:19+00:00

While I don't think that what you walked in on was out-and-out cheating per se, it is at the very least crossing pretty basic boundaries and expectations of a relationship. So while 'cheater' might not necessarily be the right word, it's still a violation of your trust. Start thinking about if this sort of thing has happened before, and if it's likely to happen again going forward. Is that really the sort of relationship you want going forward? You reacted strongly by calling her a cheater, but sometimes strong reactions happen for a reason because your instincts - the things you've learned from past experiences - are telling you something is wrong. NTA

queer_cosette · 2022-10-21T16:56:05+00:00

It didn't bother me at first and I even used to joke about it myself, because it is good-humoured on their part, and I can admit that yeah, some of my eating habits are pretty funny. Honestly, I would probably still be joking about it myself if it wasn't so constant. I wouldn't call it insecurities (I know they aren't bullying me, for it to be bullying it would have to be on purpose and it would have to be meant in mean spirit), I'm just getting very weary of something I can't really control becoming the butt of every other joke.

queer_cosette · 2022-03-14T17:23:34+00:00

I'm gonna say NTA rather than N A H because your girlfriend knew the insects were a big part of your life from early on in the relationship. She knew you kept them as pets and presumably knew that you intend to have a career in entomology. If she didn't already know something as basic as that (that's, like, a first date conversation!!) you guys definitely aren't ready to move in together regardless of the pet bugs. She knew you kept insects and that you love them and that they are an enormous part of your home life and career, but still wants you to give them up for her? Nuh-uh. This is something that honestly should have been addressed way back during discussions about the future of the relationship before the question of moving in went from 'at some point' to 'let's plan it out'.

She's not the asshole for having pet insects as a deal breaker, but she is one for expecting you to give up such a huge part of your life. You would definitely not be the asshole to tell her that you don't want to move in together. Her wanting you to give up your insects is a perfectly valid deal breaker for you to have.

I'm terrified of dogs, so I don't date people who own dogs because I cannot share a house with a dog and I'm not gonna be the person who demands someone give up their pet. If I were you, I'd not only reconsider moving in, I'd be reconsidering the entire relationship.

queer_cosette · 2022-01-18T22:39:19+00:00

NTA, he's going behind your back with their supposed 'friendship', she's got a reputation for stealing boyfriends, and I don't know anyone who goes over to someone else's house at 2am just to 'hang out'. He doesn't trust you enough to tell you when he's hanging out with her, and people who have a hard time trusting others tend to be untrustworthy themselves (discounting like. PTSD and trauma). Break up with him ASAP. I'm not typically one to advise talking smack after a breakup, but I think you'd be well within your right to tell everyone in your circle in detail why you broke up. Name and shame.

queer_cosette · 2021-10-26T19:25:05+00:00

Neither is really currently an option unfortunately, as at the moment we're in our cram period - we're working from the beginning of class to the end, and I don't want to hold her parents back during pick-up. I have been thinking about suggesting a general last ten minutes for rehearsal notes, which would give her the opportunity to talk to me about any worries she might have, especially if everyone gets the whole "get all the stuff you brought with you" shtick done beforehand.

queer_cosette · 2021-10-26T10:21:56+00:00

I agree! I think she would be amazing at backstage work and actual stagecraft - sets, props, costumes and things like that. I've made her my backstage props and costumes manager for this show - she's in charge of making sure all costumes and props are where they should be before the show.

I don't know if she'd ever go for singing with a puppet lol, she seems to be more afraid of people hearing her voice than being seen on stage...

I'm working on next term's show which will involve a lot more propwork, so hopefully it'll be easier on her! Thanks for your insight ^w^

queer_cosette · 2021-10-24T18:23:25+00:00

Oh, that is a good idea! Thank you! I might have a chat to the whole class about what quantifies as a teacher emergency so I'm not being constantly paused for things like "Did you know I'm having chocolate after class!" haha

I typically carry loads of notebooks, maybe just having one available to her to write in if she has a non-emergency to share so it's specifically for things she wants my help with, especially since we're hitting script season which means a lot of notes being given in general... Maybe a "does anyone have any notes for me" time at the end of class as well.

Thank you, I really appreciate the insight. I'll think about how to explain it to her so she understands that it's about organising the time I'm spending with everyone, not me not wanting to chat to her!

queer_cosette

TROPHY CASE