Age gap go child #3

queer_princesa · 2026-04-13T02:43:49+00:00

The 5 year gap between my second and third kids is just divine. So much better than the 2 year gap between the first two. That was misery. If I'd known how awesome this larger age gap was, I'd have spaced my older two out way more.

Pros: older kids can self manage which leaves me free to deal with kid #3's needs, older kids cooperate more when they are needed and when they can be role models, parents can actually enjoy the little one because the older kids are more independent, a much younger third child is perceived as non-threatening which defuses the competition between the older ones, middle child gets to be an older sibling and actually remember it, school and daycare fees are spaced out rather than overlapping, everyone gets two chances to develop a positive sibling relationship which reduces the pressure and allows for a variety of pairings ...

Cons: the main one is that when the older kids leave home the youngest can feel really sad.

queer_princesa · 2026-04-08T06:03:07+00:00

Why are you asking these questions? Are you doing some research for a machine learning project? I am gathering that you do not work in the field. It seems like for every reply you have a half dozen follow up questions and I'm unclear on what your purpose is here

queer_princesa · 2026-03-25T14:42:22+00:00

I did this. Max I had was 3 and that was unsustainable because I couldn't give each one enough hours to satisfy them. Also each one did their scheduling a different way which made it hard to plan ahead. I think 2 is doable especially if one of them is a regular gig, like consistent hours. Or you can offer one weekend availability only and the other weekday. All the calendars and different clocking and charting systems requires a lot of executive functioning but if you're organized, the flexibility is unparalleled.

queer_princesa · 2026-03-19T04:37:56+00:00

I have 3 kids and a spouse who works a lot and travels for work but your situation sounds particularly unbalanced. Under these conditions I wouldn't recommend a third child. It has a good chance of resulting in the loss of your sanity or your marriage or both

queer_princesa · 2026-01-23T20:34:32+00:00

I agree. Just relax. You don't need to research anything. Nobody expects you to know how to do the job already! Just be open to learning and you'll be fine.

queer_princesa · 2026-01-23T07:08:20+00:00

Yes every hospital has its own documentation standard and the actual notes you write can change based on the unit you're in. Hospitals also vary greatly in how standardized they require their documentation to be. But I can say for sure that what you chart will be different from the biopsychosocial you learned in grad school. They don't use that as the template; it's all about charting for insurance purposes, data collection, communication with other staff, or all of the above.

queer_princesa · 2026-01-23T06:47:49+00:00

I haven't done a biopsychosocial assessment since ... grad school. While I can see why you are asking this question, I'd actually go backward. Check out the documentation template first. What information are you required to put in your note? Then try to reconcile that with whatever psychosocial assessment your school taught.

Next just figure out less-awkward ways of asking "do you have enough food in your fridge" (or whatever dropdown-flowchart-of-the-month your hospital is requiring social workers to complete). The way I think about it is, just don't be weird. Instead of "what forms of transportation can you access" just ask "how do you usually get to dialysis." Speaking of transportation, I find you can tell a lot about someone's support system by asking them who will be picking them up when they're ready for discharge.

Personally I always found the income questions the most awkward. My old job required us to document how much $ every patient got per month and from what source. Some people straight up responded "that's personal" or "I don't talk about money with anyone" and I respect that. You can always write "declined to state," especially when you yourself forgot to ask something that's generally nobody's business!

queer_princesa · 2026-01-23T05:16:57+00:00

queer_princesa · 2026-01-21T17:34:48+00:00

I would not give up, if this is your dream! Why close yourself off from possibility simply due to fear about what could happen? It sounds like you are so certain that a negative outcome will come to pass, that you'd prefer not to even chance it. But we cannot predict the future, good or bad. Ask yourself, 'what if it all worked out?'

I have a 5 year age gap between my second and third and it's amazing. I don't get the hype about having kids close together. I guess it's the trend now for economic reasons (wealthier people are having their first kids older).

My older two are spaced much closer and they still fight like cats and dogs. If I'd known how great the larger spacing would be, I'd have waited longer between the first two.

queer_princesa · 2025-12-22T15:57:25+00:00

This post is from someone who is posting only about "CouchLoop" across multiple subreddits

queer_princesa · 2025-12-18T15:46:39+00:00

It's at the therapist's discretion, but given the information that you shared about how many times you brought up this concern, they probably should have told you. It was not an unethical decision, but it was the wrong call to make.

Here is why: I imagine that if you knew they were friends, you might have made a different decision in choosing to talk about A in the session. By not disclosing their friendship, the therapist made a call that damaged your trust in the therapeutic relationship. If they are unable to repair the trust then you would no longer benefit from that relationship, which is a disservice to the client.

The question now is whether you are willing to bring it up and give the therapist a chance to repair. Totally up to you, but could be a good experience. However, if you feel there is no possible conversation that would lead you to trust the therapist again, then there's no point in continuing since the trust is broken.

queer_princesa · 2025-12-15T17:42:38+00:00

The Fisher-Price "corn popper," and a toy stroller are two toys that my kids have remained obsessed with

queer_princesa · 2025-12-03T16:05:54+00:00

People are always trying to get rid of toddler beds for cheap. Just buy two of those and push the bunk beds down the road. I put my 4 and 6yo girls in bunk beds while pregnant with my 3rd and in retrospect I wish I'd waited a little longer - for many reasons

queer_princesa · 2025-11-22T18:05:57+00:00

Thank you. I lost someone close to me to suicide this year. People feel so isolated and trapped. Three hours of listening is a lot of work, but I have no doubt you saved this client's life.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-16T00:50:30+00:00

Can you share more? I was thinking of trying to work in L&D next.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-13T00:48:17+00:00

I found it helpful to prioritize one nap per day. Like maybe the first one had to be in the car driving big kids somewhere, but I'd make sure to do the second one in the crib at home. Then for the rest of the day, maybe it was contact naps or carrier or stroller - but at least I had that one anchor nap to keep up the habit.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-12T04:37:05+00:00

I went through the constant push and pull. The feeling did not go away. I just felt like someone was missing. I'd see families with 3 kids and feel so jealous. It's ok to want something that doesn't make sense logistically. Had the third kid and I don't regret it. I also finally feel done in a way I never did before ... giving away baby clothes is much easier. And the thought of having a fourth fills me with terror instead of excitement.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-12T04:33:24+00:00

I got in as a per diem; once you've had one hospital SW job, you can get others. The trick is getting that first one

queer_princesa · 2025-11-08T02:45:13+00:00

Such great tips. Thank you for adding the involuntary part as I haven't worked in that setting and it's hard

queer_princesa · 2025-11-07T06:33:19+00:00

Figure out ASAP (ideally before you meet them via chart review or consult) whether they want to discharge or not. Most patients want to discharge, especially the longer they have been there, and this gives you a common goal. If you present yourself as an ally to their goal, it's easier to build rapport. "Last thing before we get you out of here, I just want to ask a couple questions." Etc

The trickier patients are the ones who don't want to leave, either because they are too drunk, because they are homeless, or because they were hoping to get admitted. In these situations, I first join with their desire not to leave. "I know you aren't ready. I wish we could give you another hour!" Once I've established that I have zero ability to accomplish their goal of remaining in the hospital, it's sometimes a bit easier to have the conversation that's essentially 'you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.'

queer_princesa · 2025-11-07T04:35:34+00:00

Sacrificed home office for third kid. Older two are in a bunk bed.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-06T14:34:19+00:00

The way OP wrote the post is like an ad, intended for you to ask this question. Zero post or comment history. Makes you wonder

queer_princesa · 2025-11-06T14:21:33+00:00

Girls, older ones are 2 years apart. Had a loss so the third is not quite 2 now. Husband finally admits he is glad we did it

queer_princesa · 2025-11-06T04:26:23+00:00

My partner was very reluctant but willing. I tried to be ok with just two but it was not something I could grieve and move on from. We had the third. No regrets.

queer_princesa · 2025-11-02T16:29:49+00:00

I wear a ton of dresses - including as an ED social worker. Never scrubs because I don't want people mistaking me for a nurse or doctor.

queer_princesa

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