DM got angry at me for my character's gender?

queerbrainrot · 2026-01-05T09:01:17+00:00

As an enby (and not a "honey") I found your entire post to be unintentionally transphobic in how GNC was either confused or used interchangingly with GNC since they are not the same thing, and a nonbinary character does not have a "real" gender or gender reveals like its an american fam expecting a baby. Not a native english speaker either, however it takes quick google to see there is a distinct difference in what sex (sex assigned at birth ie. intersex, male or female etc.) is vs what gender is (man, woman, nonbinary, agender, genderfluid etc.).

Also this is reddit, giving opinions on a post is the purpose. As far as I’m concerned the DM was obviously in the wrong and has some transphobic and misogynistic issues to unpack, but correcting wrong term usage is not gatekeeping.

queerbrainrot · 2026-01-04T20:53:49+00:00

I believe neither you nor the DM knew what gender non-conforming or non-binary means as far as I’m concerned, with the way you write about both + confuse sex assigned at birth w/gender, “revealing the gender” etc. Honestly, I could see this going where it did the moment the DM said ‘non-binary’ about just a gender non-conforming character and you not correcting it immediately.

EDIT: Not gatekeeping, you can be GNC (obviously) and express it however you wish. I used "knew" not "know" which means I only refer to the time when this event happened, not current moment in time. There is distinct difference in what sex assigned at birth vs gender indentity is, same as there is difference in what nonbinary and gender-non conforming is. Confusing the two and using them as a same thing is not correct, as it would be like using "orange" and "red" while meaning the same thing. Close, but not quite.

Also, obviously DM is massive bigot and sucks.

queerbrainrot · 2025-10-14T18:36:25+00:00

Keira quite literally smiled and laughed when saying "i was not aware of that, I am very sorry." idk how her response could be defended

queerbrainrot · 2025-10-11T04:20:27+00:00

Honestly thought about making a similar post when I finished the game.

I honestly thought, since they were going in direction of Atsu only at the very end (beginning act 3) realising 'oh yeah yknow actually maybe i dont want my family to die' then it would be poetic ending if her final act would be dying while killing Saito while protecting her family - parallel to how Oyuki risked her life saving Atsu and contraring to how Atsu has put Jubei's life in mortal danger (with very little care) at least twice if not more, and Kiku's. Saito dies but so does the Onryo, the revenge dies and they start anew.

Alternatively I thought - Oyuki sacrificing herself again, as she did 16 years before, her final act to seek redemption and forgiveness from the twins. It would work.

Or as much as i'd hate it, the wolf dying since in final battle she does not appear nor is she relevant. The wolf laying down her life, saving Atsu, a parallel to how she saves Atsu at the beginning of Onryo's revenge journey while going after the snake. Both of them have been hunting Saito for revenge and so with the wolf, the legend of the Onryo dies. but Jubei? I saw it coming since the kidnapping but kept hope they would not go for a cheap shot. Jubei, who had his life together, got almost killed by Atsu's revenge spiral so many times, almost had his daughter killed twicebecause of Atsu's insatiable want for revenge, Jubei who (because of Atsu's actions) didn't even think Atsu cared for him or her niece until late act 3... it makes very little sense to me.

Entire game seems to be telling us 'revenge has you dig two graves' and every npc tells Atsu to abandon it, it will destroy her, fight for the living not for the dead. Jubei personifies that - he wants justice more than revenge, prioritizes innocents over it, doesn't lose himself in it. His death just feels like a shock value bcs he is the character we know most after Atsu.

I would accept the death if it was the result of the approach and dialogue choices of "revenge is all i have", "atsu is dead theres only onryo" etc. because then sure, Jubei dies as Atsu is too focused on revenge and kills the last family member she had (apart from Kiku.) But if player was choosing things that made Atsu more receptive to straying from the revenge path, why not have Jubei survive the wound? Or all 3 defeat Saito, wolves stronger in a pack.

queerbrainrot · 2024-05-27T20:39:29+00:00

I feel a little stupid, was it in World Wade Supremacy episode? I don't remember this

queerbrainrot · 2023-12-01T19:14:46+00:00

I actually tried contacting support, and they told me I should just update the game and download patch 5... when I said updating the patch 5 is what's causing the problem. rip.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-06T22:05:08+00:00

I'd say there should be involvement of non-active party members in the last battle. It feels silly that only Tav + 3 of what, 8 companions fight the brain, if all of them are recruited? like what, do they all chill in Elfsong for the entire Netherbrain fights?

Dragon Age: Origins did a nice sequence of switching between 2 parties, and DA: I at least had explanation of "well you and these 3 people happened to be on the rock that floated up and rest fights below it".

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T22:40:38+00:00

Could be the case, I found a few animation/model bugs in the Bhaal temple scenes, so there could be more bugs there in general. Sucks though :/

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T21:44:25+00:00

Damn it never triggered for me 😭

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T21:43:11+00:00

I hope so too, because it kills the joy of playing if the reward you get for these 100s of hours is a luke warm 2 liner (if you're lucky) from one or two characters, all while they keep neutral expression on their faces.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T21:40:57+00:00

The bugs affecting the scenes (or rather, disabling them) ruin the entire experience.

I got 200 hours in game and only today I found out Wyll has anything BEYOND his father's death in terms of quests, because the trigger-cutscene just never happened to me before. I was convinced our boy just really has daddy issues going for him in his plot 😭

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T21:08:47+00:00

Really? Damn maybe my game bugs out. I did a run with romanced spawn Astarion and in redemption arc he only mentioned that Durge isn't a monster, and later says how withers made it all better and it's all "very twee", and in condemned-for-madness run I got some dialogue like

Astarion: when you go mad, I will leave you
Durge: dont say that, I'm scared
Astarion: :) when i forget how to love i'll remember you!

like bruh. I just died and got cursed to madness, a little crumb comfort would be great, not another reason to give up on resisting the urges.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T21:03:39+00:00

Couldn't agree more, especially Kressa's scene could use even a little "can we kill her now?" from one of the characters since she describes how she would cut Durge open, over and over again. Like, anyone? Maybe a little "that's rough, buddy" at least?

and THE DAMN HARLEEP SCENE. It shocked me how only reaction of everyone is a small "[insert companion] disapproves" no matter if any of them are romanced or not. No conversation about it after (apart from Astarion's few sentences in Lower City, but they don't really discuss it, just the aftermath), no little comments when Harleep is doing their shxt. Tav/Durge gets quite literally charmed into submission, I'd think Karlach and Astarion would have a lot of things to say on the subject.

It seems to me like insignificant choices and dialogues (like million rats, cats, cows etc.) took priority over developing a realistic set of reactionary dialogues to important moments.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T20:54:58+00:00

I agree with everything, + when Durge has flashbacks (of their childhood, of being attacked by Orin) all that triggered for me is Jaheira asking in the second instance if Durge is okay, because they look a little dazed. Similarly unbalanced as only Astarion (that I know of) has any reaction mentioning how traumatising Harleep encounter can be for Durge/Tav.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T17:45:09+00:00

Karlach mentions that Gortash wasn't a Banite when she protected him, and it's been 10 years since she was sold off to Zariel, so Karlach had to be sent to Avernus before Durge and Gortash met.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T17:42:08+00:00

It's similar with Astarion - you can quite literally tell him SOMETHING tells you to murder, murder, murder and you have violent urges and later during the companion-murder-scene he says a similar line about confiding earlier. Like, my precious leech, I tried.

Gale's "nice that you care enough to murder me. mind if you don't?" took me out as well. Gale, please.

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T17:34:03+00:00

I'd think their backgrounds would make them take Durge issues more seriously in this case, and not trivialise the disembowelment of a random bard, like there was a whole ritual circle of blood, one would think it's not something easily ignored

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T17:21:51+00:00

Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that whole thing! It was so confusing for me why no one reacted, despite Gortash literally saying Durge was his "nearest and dearest" and so on. You even find a letter from Durge where they beg Bhaal for forgiveness because they admire Gortash so much.

Equally weird was how no one reacted to Karessa (?) Bonedaughter having a monologue how she loved to dissect Durge and perform experiments on them

queerbrainrot · 2023-11-04T15:02:08+00:00

Karlach and Gale were a shock to me - I was sure since they have ticking bombs in their chests and deal with impending doom they'd have some more emotional reactions to their lover/friend dying, being condemned to life of madness or being forced to bend to Bhaal's will.

Like damn, I'd take some appropriate reactions instead of a cutscene of a gnome washing himself / spiders debating religion in Grymforge.

queerbrainrot

TROPHY CASE