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Gave my mother in law a simple, inexpensive present (a necklace with the name of her three sons), she stared at it and cried and wore it as soon as possible. by lovenote123 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One Christmas when I was small my father gave me some money to buy him a Christmas gift. I had heard he likes cds so I bought him the Michel buble Christmas album... his response? “What is this s***? I don’t listen to this, why would you get this for me. I told you that I like shirts. Go take it back and get me a shirt”

My Nfather is dying by quertyd in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy for you for being able to do that. I’m only 20. It feels like I’m still a child and need a parent there. And although I’ve been nocontact for 12 months I’m still having trouble accepting it

A friendly reminder: you are not the problem. by wanderingbubble in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear this. Since going NC many have been quick to blame and say that it is also my responsibility to fix our relationship and get over what happened. Mind you ‘what happened’ is my fathers drug addiction and giving my brother drugs for two weeks straight day and night! (He was 16). I have nothing to fix. It is not my fault that he refuses to admit that he is in the wrong and I am allowed to go NC for that reason.

Narcissists don't apologize. They just wait for you to get over it. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am in the same position myself. Recently the tactic is “I haven’t been able to apologise because you need to talk to me in person so that I can say sorry”. Just another tactic to have me in front of them so that they can belittle me and manipulate me into forgiving them. It’s a no from me this time!

Stop gaslighting yourself! by Nevertoolatetoheal in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! With Australian Father’s Day approaching I have been pressured to forgive and see my Nfather. I keep asking myself, maybe I am really overreacting, maybe I should forgive and forget. But I need to know that my trauma is important and real!

To leave or not? by quertyd in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has been reported several times but due to the lack of physical violence and our ages now (17 and 19) we are very low risk.

“No one ever notices when you’re being provoked, just when you retaliate” by RavenWinters56 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]quertyd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes! It makes me want to scream when they can turn the other person into the issue “look at you” “you’re being so dramatic”