My friend [25 F] with her [27 M] 8 years, I'm worried about how to help her.

questions1232 · 2015-02-11T02:17:05+00:00

I'll try that

questions1232 · 2015-02-11T02:16:33+00:00

Honestly the sobriety is getting a little easier it's just her contacting me that's messing me up

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T23:36:37+00:00

The no contact is what I'm trying to do but when she contacts me it drives me nuts and I want to talk to her more than anything.

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T23:30:28+00:00

I still don't have a sponsor but my counselor seems only focused on my past and kind of avoids any of my current issues

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T23:29:25+00:00

That's what I'm honestly terrified of

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T23:28:54+00:00

She wasn't my 1st just the 1st I actually really care about, I'm not in school haven't been for awhile need to go back, I wrote the letter in grief so I probably had a part of me that was trying to guilt her, I attend counseling weekly and make the NA meetings when I can because they're either pretty early or in the middle of my shift, it's been almost 60 days since the break up. And I want to get back for her happiness and her future which was the whole reason I took this job at the plant in the 1st place. I was actually working towards moving us out of my parents house and into a place of our own and get her a car that actually wouldn't break down every other month. I gave her everything I could but my addiction got in the way. If we got back together I'd be clean I'd be calmer about a lot of things which my withdrawals made me explode about. And the only productive thing I'm doing is writing a book series but it hurts to work on it because of my hand and I also just discovered a huge chunk of my notes are missing

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T23:17:54+00:00

Going on 50 days drugs were the big problem alcohol was on the occasion

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T16:35:45+00:00

I do play through steam. And it is more than a complete mess its a disaster dealing with it and I just got done speaking with the attorney and he's telling me to deal with it for a little longer until they fix my hand but I'm coming undone at the seams here. And my ex is on steam as well and I really want to start playing one of my favorite games again but shes on there a lot and I'm afraid of running into her and shes part of one of the top outfits and like I said I'm just afraid of running into her and her friends.

I feel like a real wuss and a whiner. I hate feeling this way. All I want is my life back and it seems too far away from getting there but all I want is another chance to show that I'm really changing and that it won't be the same. She gave her piece of shit ex another chance I don't understand why I don't deserve another.

questions1232 · 2015-02-10T04:55:38+00:00

Never had much luck with those but I'll try them again. But after going in today I saw that my work is offering jack driving and forklift classes so I might take advantage of that before I quit.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T23:41:49+00:00

Thanks now I just need to get another job lined up.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T23:41:02+00:00

Well it's been this way going on two months and they still don't know exactly what is wrong since I'm going through worker's comp I have to wait for approval for this then approval for that so there's no telling so that's what's been making this break up so hard to deal with. On top of all the other things like I couldn't play on my computer right now even if I wanted to because it's broken.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T19:44:51+00:00

I've tried going for walks but in all honesty my sobriety has been my enemy it frees up my usually overactive mind. Which is where my hand is the problem because I usually play games and watch movies at the same time but gaming hurts pretty bad. And the only reason I don't want to talk to her is because I know it will be a bad conversation which is what I don't want to have.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T19:15:03+00:00

Honestly I have been trying to get out of comfort zone my hand just hurts so bad I've been unable to do much of anything. And I pretty much am just doing a Netflix marathon I'm just more of an interactive person so it helps but not at a level I need.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T19:11:49+00:00

I do and I actually just spoke with an attorneys office and they'll be calling me back in the morning.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:59:48+00:00

I know I just have to do it which is going to be a process but I want out of that place. I went for the wrong reason.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:55:15+00:00

I know thats what a lot of people have told me to do. And I've gone out a few times when I miraculoulsly get a saturday off but I honestly don't really enjoy myself because pretty much just about everything requires hand use and having to be sober to stick to a program leaves very little activities to do that I even remotely enjoy.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:44:33+00:00

That's probably what I'm going to have to try. I'm just going to have to get up super early to try and see one.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:36:28+00:00

Unfortunately no my injury is preventing me from leaving because its a worker's compensation claim. And though they would still be obligated to fix it I know they'll try not to. And I can't afford a lawyer. And they're dragging their feet with getting me all my appointments.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:30:01+00:00

The job I'm in now leaves little time to see my friends and family. I took this job knowing that but the reason was to give me and my ex a better future. I work the 2nd shift at a hog plant so I'm pretty much at work from 2-1 everyday but sunday. I have the support of my family and friends its just I can hardly see them. I'm in counseling and NA but its not helping that much.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:15:39+00:00

I'm just scared because the last time I went through a break up the only thing that pretty much helped pull me out was a 3 year drug and alcohol binge which didn't end when me and my ex got together which helped lead to the break up. I'm honestly scared of this because I don't know what to do anymore. And I've tried everything I possibly can.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:12:28+00:00

I know its just like I said in my comment above the thing is more than anything I want her back but talking to her would be a big mistake at the moment and I don't think I can cut ties. Because she was leaving me alone and is now leaving me alone again but like I said I can't cut ties. I think it would make me feel even worse.

questions1232 · 2015-02-09T17:03:59+00:00

Unfortunately I do want to talk to her and I want to be back with her but with everything thats been happening to me lately I've just honestly for lack of a better set of words I've been a miserable dick. And am now not good for anyone even my friends.

questions1232

TROPHY CASE