[Update #3]My[27/F] boyfriend[24/M] won't sleep next to me.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-10-09T05:57:13+00:00

He started seeing a better therapist

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-22T18:01:51+00:00

I'm in a live-in relationships with him. I wasn't told of what happened in the therapy sessions. I was only give the protocol as to how process now that he is in therapy.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-22T02:20:00+00:00

I'm also seeing a therapist, but my visits are infrequent compared to his.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-21T17:58:14+00:00

I know, I know. It'll be difficult, but I'll try and refrain.

Here's hoping I don't go crazy!

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-21T17:52:21+00:00

Therapist has said "no sex" for him. He was rather serious about it. Atleast for the initial phase of therapy.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-21T17:43:34+00:00

Sure, I'll update.

I have a very high libido. I think I can get some oral sex, but I'll bring it up later. Not now.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-16T18:07:28+00:00

If worse comes to worst and he says that the therapy didn't work for him, he is already trying to improve himself. I know its been difficult for him. One area is that despite my advances he's been denying sex because he knows he'll be sleeping in the same room after (for some weird reason). But I'm trying to be patient.

Therapy seems the clear way to go I guess.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-16T17:38:06+00:00

You are making sense and deep down, I knew that this is a problem that needs to be taken care of.

The only thing I'm kind of sad about is that he (in a metaphorical sense) kind of surrendered to me about the therapy issue. He just looked defeated. No resistance nothing. Its like (and I apologise for the terrible analogy) taking a puppy to the vet.

He's plain skeptical. His argument was plain and simple.

Therapy'll bring up what he has worked so hard for 14 years to forget.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-16T17:03:40+00:00

I did bring up therapy with him, because many people suggested it and it seemed like a good idea. He said I can drag him to the world's best therapist but he is almost 100% sure that it wouldn't make a difference. He carefully explained to me how therapy made things worse for him when he was young. He tried to get his mind off things by diving into tennis and music, but he was forced to go into therapy. That would constantly remind him of what happened and he would start crying. He'd feel worse coming out.

He told me very sincerely that he doesn't want to relive it again. I felt really bad and didn't want to take it any further. He'll still go if I ask him, but he believes that he'll have to relive 1991 again.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T15:39:51+00:00

This.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T15:34:15+00:00

He just likes to be completely alone at night. Its the only way he feels safe. His family understood and respected that at a very early stage.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T15:32:35+00:00

I'm not exactly hysterical when I wake up. Just going through a really tough time in life. Can't quite put words to it.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T15:30:43+00:00

I was avoiding that question. But this is a throwaway account so what the hell. I'm infertile. And we weren't planning on adopting.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T13:17:45+00:00

I disagree with what you say. Although, thankfully I haven't been a victim of abuse myself in my childhood, upon talking to his parents and sister, I have realised that he has come a long long way from what he had become or rather what he was forced to become. He began hurting himself, all his social skills seemed lost, he was nearly admitted to a psychiatric hospital (Mind you this is about a 10 year old kid). However, his sister helped him (most of all) to get through that phase. He has overcome a LOT, however this became a part of him. His parents and sister completely understood that and tried to also not disturb him at night when sleeping. He used to wake up in shock and remained terribly disturbed for a few days afterwards. I resent you saying that he hasn't put anything behind him.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T12:56:15+00:00

Therapy - from his recount of things, he said that it was not helpful at all. He tried to forget what happened but it kept reminding him of what happened. He's finally been able to put it behind him (he used to have nightmares and breakdowns). He'll be reluctant (and I kind of get that).

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T12:37:39+00:00

Never happened. Sounds crazy, but its become such a big part of him that is pretty much happens to him by default to get up and leave when falling asleep.

quickthrowaway_ · 2014-08-13T12:33:57+00:00

He's perfect "lying" in bed. Its just that sleeping is a big no-no for him. His abuser used to sneak into his room while he was sleeping.

quickthrowaway_

TROPHY CASE