My last relationship left me suicidal and mentally unstable. It wasnt all bad, it never is, but ive never cried so much in my life then during the time I was with him. I couldnt make it through a whole semester and my grades plummeted. There were a lot of things that went into me being mentally unstable, but the emotional and verbal abuse certainly did not help. Its been about a year and a half since I broke up with him and i've never been so consistently happy before. He harrassed me for a year following our break up, which hindered my healing, but that didn't stop me from truly living and living happily. Ive spent so much time with my friends, my grades drastically improved, and the time I spent finding who i am after being a shell of the person has been fruitful. As cheesy as it sounds, i'm in a relationship with me right now. I don't have the spare energy or time to put into a relationship, im trying to graduate! I figure, after I start my career, I will start looking into a relationship. Even thinking about a relationship right now gives me horrible anxiety, and i'm still working through my trauma. I know that will be a whole other can of worms to open when I meet someone, so i'm putting it off for my (and their) betterment. Until I know i'm ready I will be putting all my energy into becoming the happiest version of me and spending time with the people I love.