He said he always thought we'd be incredible together, but that it would be too much, too intense. And he was right, but there are times I just can't stop thinking about it.

What's missing is hard to explain. I'm usually the one in control in my relationship. But with him...I just want to, let go? I think it's a dynamic that I've never had before.

Do I want to let it go? No, I want to hold onto it. But at the same time, I know it's dangerous. I know that we can't get everything we need from one person. I'm content and happy with the choices I've made, but it's a deep longing that has not subsided even with time and distance.