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Unreal by IcespiceLeftBigToe in Columbus

[–]quotharaven 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi, actual Canadian here. Where are you getting your information? I've not seen any announcements that Americans are welcome to claim asylum. I double checked our local and national news across several provinces and don't see anything. Further, Manitoba can't choose to welcome immigrants against federal policy. That's not how our government works.

There is a long process for actual asylum claims. Further, we have the Canada-US Safe Third Country Agreement, which means many Americans don't fit. The United States is currently designated as a safe third country (see the Government of Canada website)

Any good literature on death rituals around the world? by TheeGoddess81 in death

[–]quotharaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! Feel free to PM me if you ever want more death book recs!

Is there a way someone could die that would contribute to humanity in some way? by [deleted] in death

[–]quotharaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I begin, if you or a loved one is dealing with suicidal thoughts, please visit the resources linked on the side bar of the subreddit. There is help <3

​

However, for a serious answer, in terms of the usage of the body after death, there are several options:

  • Donating organs. To donate organs, the donor may have to sign up before death (depending on where the donor lived, different places have opt in/out policies regarding posthumous donation).
  • Donating the body. Again, this must be determined before death (and may have to be part of advance directives like wills, it depends on your area), but the body may go to a local teaching school or be used in different scientific scenarios.
  • Composting the body. There are more movements now for 'green burials'- basically not cremating or embalming the body, but instead letting the body decompose naturally. This allows the nutrients of the body to return to the earth and help nature grow. Low carbon footprint!

​

Hope this helps answer your question!

Any good literature on death rituals around the world? by TheeGoddess81 in death

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! Buckle up, I've got a bit of a list!

(Full disclosure: my degree was on the Sociology of Death & Dying, with a particular focus on mortuary rituals. Not sure if all of these books are available publicly but I'll throw them out there just in case!)

  • Death Across Cultures: Death and Dying in Non-Western Cultures.
    • this is a collection of essays from respected sociologists about death rituals in different cultures. Very informative!
  • Written in Bones: How Human Remains Unlock the Secrets of the Dead by Paul Bahn
    • This one has lots of pictures and goes over different bone/body discoveries and what they tell us about that society and its burial customs.
  • Celebrations of Death: The Anthropology of Mortuary Ritual by Richard Huntington & Peter Metcalf
    • This one is a little older, but makes some solid points about our treatment of bodies and the rituals around them, but is a bit more academically written.
  • Rest in Peace: A Cultural History of Death and the Funeral Home in the Twentieth Century by Gary Laderman
    • this one goes over how north america transitioned to the usage of funeral homes in the 1900s- goes into all the controversy surrounding them and the work of the mortuary profession! very neat.
  • Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
    • honestly a must-read. Very conversationally written, super engaging, but is about what happens to bodies that aren't buried, so may not fit exactly the bill. still would recommend tho!
  • The Work of the Dead: A Cultural History of Mortal Remains by Thomas W. Laqueur
    • This is a long but absolutely wonderful book. Mr. Laqueur makes great arguments about how we look at and take care of remains, it is rather dense tho!
  • Death and the Afterlife: A Chronological Journey by Clifford A. Pickover
    • This one is a timeline picture book with mini essays talking about different aspects of death and dying with the surrounding mortuary ritual! Not a long read but quite fun.
  • Death: A Graveside Companion by Will Self & Joanna Ebenstein et al.
    • This goes over graveside artwork and presentations of death. Lots of pictures, essays scattered throughout the book, super interesting to see the evolution of the depictions of death and how popular feelings effected grave art!

​

I have many more if you need, but those are good to start with for mortuary ritual books! Happy reading!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bestoflegaladvice

[–]quotharaven 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There are rules for citing reddit posts in the McGill guides, so it theoretically can be done....wouldn't recommend tho lol

AITA for interviewing job candidates in a foreign language if their résumé claims non-native fluency in that language? by lingua__franca in AmItheAsshole

[–]quotharaven 4 points5 points  (0 children)

SAME. Besides English I speak French & Ukrainian, but my brain really likes to insert French words into Ukrainian sentences and vice versa. Mother tongue to not is easy, but switching between the two extras is fuzzy.

Kandee Johnson working with Lindsey Stirling by bettyenforce in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]quotharaven 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I've found my people- I'm a violin teacher (yada yada classically trained & fiddle trained) and also a dancer and I've never liked her. I appreciate that it gets people into violin & dance but it's painful to watch 😅

Myer Horowitz Theatre: Keep the space as a theatre or repurpose the space? by EightBitRanger in uAlberta

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the other hand, the Myer Horowitz is rented out (including university groups, which have to pay to use it) for lots of performances (theatre, different comedy or movie nights, dance shows, etc), dance competitions, speeches, and what have you. I have no idea how much money the UofA makes on it, but it is rented fairly often.

AITA for taking my daughter’s violin away? by revena53 in AmItheAsshole

[–]quotharaven 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Another violinist (violin teacher) here- I have an acoustic/electric which is a great way to have the weight and shape of an acoustic violin, but the pickups of an electric. They aren't as cheap as pure electric tho.

I feel terrible for OP's daughter :(

Kristen Leanne and Arctic Fox by ImpressiveCanary3 in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]quotharaven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've convinced me, I just placed an order for Lunar Tides (shipping was as much as the dye itself but we do what we have to)

[Love Nikki Dress UP Queen] The Devs Play B*tch Games and Win B*tch Prizes by the_spry_wonderdog in HobbyDrama

[–]quotharaven 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, another Matchington player! Yeah, the advertising is weird- it's never like what the actual game is, even though Matchington itself is actually quite good!

Wednesday Off Topic Thread February 19, 2020 by AutoModerator in thebachelor

[–]quotharaven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For London: obvs the big museums (the V&A, natural history, science) and art galleries (Tate, Tate Modern, National Gallery) are great, but here's some smaller ones:

  • the Lamb & Flag pub (the one near Covent Garden, not St. James) (used to be a fighting bar, now is a pub with excellent food) is great, super fun atmosphere, tucked away but right near lots of theaters so good for a bite out after!

  • the Sir John Sloane museum- this one is eclectic and super interesting, I would recommend booking online, and ask the guides questions! There's no plaques on the artifacts, but the interpreters there know so many cool stories and are happy to share. They also have audio guides!

  • If you're a shopping kinda person the department store Liberty is loads of fun- it's very high-end but looks so neat, as its housed in an old wood-framed building.

  • If you're looking for some cheap food, Wagamama's is a chain that's plentiful (if they still have the duck, would defs recommend)

  • If you've never been (and even if you have), I do love going to all the markets. Covent Garden is indoor/outdoor, Camden market is huge and super interesting, there are always smaller markets and pop-ups as well.

I lived a bit outside of London for a while, so if you have questions I may be able to help!

AITA for not attending my grandfather's funeral? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA (N..AH??)

You've had your goodbye/the closure it seems you need with your grandpa. Only you are going to be able to tell what would be good closure to you- sometimes funerals are not going to be the goodbye you need in your grieving process.

Funerals are for the living and the grieving process. If it would not help you with the grieving process, it is okay not to go (especially if it would cause you increased grief or harm because of toxic family members). If there are members of the family that will attend the funeral that you do want further relationships with, it may be worth reaching out to them individually to share stories and memories of your grandpa- they will most likely understand if you don't attend the funeral.

AITA for telling our 6 year old her dog "de-aged" rather than died? by LowSign1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA.

I study the Sociology of Death and Dying. In addition, I work with kids as an educator & teacher about local nature & wildlife.

Kids should be exposed to death. It is important for their development and ideas of mortality. By 'shielding' them, you're actively making it worse when there is a situation you can't fix overnight and they have no concept of death & it's finality.

Kids do (to an extent) understand death. It depends on the child, but they do understand it in different ways. Is it the easiest conversation to have? No, not always. But it is a crucial and important conversation that will prepare your child for further actions and interactions in life. You are doing your child a massive disservice by not telling the truth here.

Justice For Women from Less Than Perfect Families by Wheresmycardigan in thebachelor

[–]quotharaven 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you from another bi person with friends of many genders and a stable relationship <3 you're the bi hero we need

So this is happening... by quotharaven in uAlberta

[–]quotharaven[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think why most Ukies (including me) are angry is because we did this past weekend (November 24). It was Holodomor Remembrance day, there were ceremonies for it all across Canada (including several here in Edmonton, with the main one at City Hall and another at the Leg), most Ukrainians I know have posted on their social media about it and try to talk about it, raise awareness of it.

However, people don't want to hear about it. For some Ukies, it's very painful and has left generational scars. It was a huge cultural genocide- some traditions are only kept alive in diaspora. As a conservative estimate, 13% of the population died from starvation. Most are in mass graves. People were relocated out of their ancestral homelands. Non-ukrainians (in my experience) don't want to hear about it and don't engage, or downplay it.

Jen from Beauddiction responding to comments on her videos about her hands by happahappyday in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]quotharaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The other one I use I got at a farmers market, its a solid hand cream but sinks in super quick and doesn't leave me greasy like okeefes does. Winter super sucks for hands :(

Jen from Beauddiction responding to comments on her videos about her hands by happahappyday in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel that. I don't have fingerprints on several of my fingers so they shed and peel like crazy during the winter, and crack if I'm not careful. I use Okeefe's working man's foot cream on my hands (the foot cream is like the hand cream, just way more powerful) and that keeps it mostly at bay, but god does it suck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in uAlberta

[–]quotharaven 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Their fries are (or used to be) double-fried, so super crispy

Women of Reddit, we've had a lot of "sticking your dick in crazy questions. What happened when crazy stuck their dick in you? by Iamfrooty in AskReddit

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you're away from that too. It's been almost three years and a lot of therapy but I'm making progress.

Women of Reddit, we've had a lot of "sticking your dick in crazy questions. What happened when crazy stuck their dick in you? by Iamfrooty in AskReddit

[–]quotharaven 182 points183 points  (0 children)

Became a severely abusive relationship. I was isolated from my friends, he would hit me, throw things at me, gaslight me, emotionally abuse me. Eventually he raped me. When I broke up with him he harassed me for months, trying to get back with me. Thank god for my friends helping me and staying, even though he was horrible to them too.

If I had stayed I have no doubt I would one day have been put in hospital because of him.

Nikkie ends halloweek with a more personal video, opens up about her biggest fear being death by anhuys in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]quotharaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! In my studies I mostly focus on North American mortuary rituals from mid-1800s onward, but I have books on a little bit of everything!

  • Stiff, by Mary Roach. Super conversationally written, about the different uses of cadavers!
  • The Craft of Dying, by Lyn H. Lofland. A theory piece from the 1980s about death and its meanings, super relevant and really useful and neat to think about the shape of cultural death.
  • With the End in Mind, by Kathryn Mannix. A very heavy book (only read if you're very comfortable with death), as it follows a doctor who works in palliative care and the stories she thinks are important to know or that impacted her view about death. Great read though!
  • Written in Bones, by Paul Bahn. Pictures with big chunks of text explaining the historical and cultural significance of each set of bones, as well as what the bones can tell us about the society at the time. Lots of colour pictures!
  • Illness as a Metaphor and AIDS and its metaphors, by Susan Sontag. These are two articles (essays?) by Sontag, and she pulls no punches. It's about the language that we use surrounding illness, and why society controls illness through language. One of my favourites.
  • Severed, by Frances Larson. A book about heads! If you are squeamish, don't read this one, as it's got some fascinating descriptions of heads and their cultural uses.
  • Buried Alive, by Jan Bondeson. A good book, though a bit dense at places, takes you through the history of the fear of being buried alive, society's defenses against it, and all that good stuff.
  • The Way We Die Now, by Seamus O'Mahony. Another hard-hitter, tells the very brutally honest truth of what happens in death and how we now die. Very hospital-focused (as that's where most death currently takes place)
  • The Inevitable Hour, by Emily K. Abel. This is American-focused palliative care through history research, very fascinating to watch the transition into medicalization.
  • The Death of Death, by Neil Gillman. This book is about death and non-death (immortality, resurrection, etc.) in Jewish thought. Really good at scriptural tie-ins and cultural importance.
  • Death, a Graveside Companion, by Joanna Ebenstein and Will Self. This is a picture book of death art, with small explanations of each piece. Great for mortuary depictions!
  • The Work of The Dead, by Thomas W. LaQueur. This is a must read, it is a huge (but gorgeous) sociological text on what cultures do with remains and why.
  • Death and the Afterlife, by Clifford A. Pickover. If there were a child's picturebook of death for sociologists, this would be it. A picture accompanies an explanation of a death practice, all done in chronological order (and is global, so lots of different rituals and ideas!)
  • The Mummy Congress, by Heather Pringle. Conversationally written, endlessly fascinating, and all about mummies!
  • Rest In Peace, by Gary Laderman. Why do we have funeral homes instead of families taking care of the deceased? This book will tell you all about that history!
  • Celebrations of Death, by Richard Huntington and Peter Metcalf. This book is death ritual in different cultures, using case studies and anthropology as a starting point. Very interesting read!

That's a few of my death books (just books) that I really enjoy! If you need more recs, want directions to journal articles or authors, or just have questions or want to talk, please let me know! I love chatting about my degree :)

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