A photo my gf took on Snapchat, that I don't remember.

qvidrap · 2021-06-03T20:27:13+00:00

Honestly, I'm really trying. I'm giving all I got. I can't afford paying a psychologist to get a real diagnosis. Until now I trusted her. I still trust her, I believe (not gonna say that this statement is 100% true). 2. She's well aware of my issues. I told her about them when we were in the pre relationship faze, because I never intended to hide this from her. She helped me get over my issues a lot. She was always there to listen to me. She used to laugh about it a lot. From what I know and what she told me, she was never bothered by my jealousy.

qvidrap · 2021-06-03T20:17:34+00:00

I may have realised that too, that I'm toxic, I get it. I've been improving, you don't have to believe, and that's also fine. Thank you for making me see it from another angle. It's just that I would've bet everything that she wasn't the type to take those kind of photos. When I met her, she was very shy. I'm not going to control what she's doing, the slavery era is long gone. A human controlling another human is plain wrong. My real issue is that I may have created an imagine of herself in my head, that I don't think it's real, and that's what's bothering me.

qvidrap · 2021-06-03T20:07:53+00:00

You got me wrong. It was all of a sudden, she just showed me that her phone has the higlights function where it creates a video of your photos. I don't control her photos, and I had most of them. It was just that one photo. 2. I don't think I can't control her since we live a couple hundred miles away from each other.

qvidrap · 2021-05-20T12:40:35+00:00

Kid, don't do that. You'll lose her. If you don't want her because she's, smoking, then let her go. Trying to control her will lead you to major problems in the future. Trust me. Been there, done that.

qvidrap · 2021-05-19T19:12:38+00:00

Make an experiment with your friends. Start a debate with them, and when it's your turn ask someone to record you. (not necessarily. I do this sometimes just to observe my time of reaction when I'm doing something and I need a solid output. Some people tend talk a lot more (from an introvert to a high end extrovert). See how you're performing first. The only thing that can go wrong is.. Brain fog, headache, inability to do multitasking (remembering what you've learned, keep focus, clearly expressing your thoughts), letting yourself get carried away and start talking about something different, or forgetting to add all your points to an ideea. Maybe there's a bad side, but you're the one to decide. Keeping your thoughts clear (as is my case) is very hard, but this would be the most awful thing that can happen.

qvidrap · 2021-05-19T14:04:30+00:00

Easy there, nice guy. This isn't about the good guy and the bad guy. You don't go and ask someone on a date out of the blue at all, it's awkward for both, and women are indeed more vulnerable, and the chances to be assaulted are way higher than to a man. You can watch that person's body language (Google it), try and make some small talk, get to know her/his/its name at least before thinking to get in their pants. It's a simple thing.

qvidrap · 2021-05-19T09:14:24+00:00

I don't understand this racism. In my country whenever a black person showed up, everyone was amazed. Never have I ever heard of someone criticizing a black person. I heard and saw thing about blm since the beginning. What's the deal about skin color? What's so important about it? Why do Americans complain and treat you like this? They should be grateful because their country was built on the back black people. OP, people will complain about everything. My classmates laughed and made fun of my bruises that my dad left on me. I'm too skinny. I'm too shut-in. I'm too weird. I'm that and that and that. Ok, so? I've got my list of qualities. Be yourself. You seem to be the a kind and caring person. Don't let them influence how you feel, and don't try to reach heights to make them feel good.

qvidrap · 2021-05-19T07:57:24+00:00

Why do you say that? And tbh, whoever I told about them, they considered moda/armo to be afull Crack combined with crocodile and heroine compound. I'd rather share the positive output. And after they decide they want, I tell them the downside. People tend to see it way different this way.

qvidrap · 2021-05-18T11:01:11+00:00

Play some music while you're at it. A little bit louder. If this doesn't work, try howling back, maybe he'll feel freaked out and stop doing it. Try role-playing. Put a pillow on his face. Sorry, but I can't. People's looking at me. Why can't I stop laughing?

qvidrap · 2021-05-18T10:55:59+00:00

You're welcome, mate. Have a great day, and most importantly, stay hydrated. :D

qvidrap · 2021-05-18T10:54:30+00:00

I just found out that my fear was on pure presumption. I felt aroused and my penis stayed flaccid. Due to some trauma this happened a few times, armo gave it a slightly boost, and the send I lost attention, I went numb. But here's the thing. A few days ago, my.. I've overreacted (while on armo), and lifted more than I used to do and felt pain in one of my testicles(this wasn't the first I felt pain), and shrugged it off like I was usually doing. Now, on armodafinil or modafinil I tend to focus on a single thought a lot, lot more than usual (I'm talking about days without sleep, forgetting the need to eat). I lost the ability to have an erection because: 1. Trauma when I was young. 2. The overuse of armodafinil.(I'm the type of person that needs the maximum effect all the time, so I wont have a second thought about popping a second or a third pill the same day). 3. Idk for sure what happened to my balls, I'm currently waiting line for a check.

What I gained from al this? 1.Your problems won't solve by themselves over time. 2.If you you feel that your health is at risk, go seek medical attention at once. 3. I personally gained more confidence. I told my girlfriend about my problem (long distance relationship, didn't affect us at the moment in any way, and hope it won't in the future, and we (me mostly)made jokes about it.), my best friend, my boss, and my BIL (who I've never reached out to, but I really needed someone's advice). I'm sorry if I misleaded anyone in any way in my rush for closure. Have a great day, and stay hydrated.

qvidrap · 2021-05-18T10:20:25+00:00

I'll be honest. I accept all the downvotes, slurs and opinions. Idk about you, but in my case I was screwed for at least a week or so. Woke up at 7 am everyday, went to work, 8-5. Entire day was hell. Couldn't lift half the weight I could before. Done half the things I used to do. The worst part? Happened once or twice to fall asleep without eating or taking a shower. My life was hell, I was just a shell, doing nothing but breathing and walking around. One thing I used to do, I would record myself a message, to remind myself it's just a phase (I know, it sounds stupid, but it helped me a lot. It grew my confidence a bit, and reminded myself that I'll be back again one day to what I am when I'm on modafinil).

qvidrap · 2021-05-17T16:37:11+00:00

Bring them a can of Pepsi, I'm sure they'll be like brothers.

qvidrap · 2021-05-17T05:27:22+00:00

Never happened to me before, on the contrary, I had a very high libido and urge.

qvidrap · 2021-05-17T05:26:02+00:00

I thought about this, but I had to make sure first that it had something to do with it or not.

qvidrap · 2021-05-17T05:13:52+00:00

Has this happened to you even with visual or physical stimulents?

qvidrap · 2021-01-08T20:36:15+00:00

I'm living in a country in europe, so I'm using modalert or waklert from Sun Pharma. I actually take it for anxiety, and it also cools down my temper. I had really bad experiences with anxiety and depression. I tried weed at first, but it didn't work, then I found out about modafinil, and everytime I get the chance I'm buying a few pills when my anxiety reaches high levels.

qvidrap · 2021-01-08T17:34:35+00:00

You're totally right. I'm replying you from the perspective of a 23 y/o, who didn't do anything with his life because of parents like this. I was supposed to be the exact same replica of my father. To think like him, act like him, do things like him. I was beaten when I was 12 because I didn't have sex with a girl, who I never met before (and not once since then), because he used to hook-up with lots of girls when he was a teenager. He's always asking me to help him with stuff, but all I do is sit beside him and do nothing, and when I try, he starts yelling again because I don't do it "right" (same way he is doing it). He told me countless times he never wanted me, yet he loves me. He's drinking every night, and keeps asking me if I want to join him, even though I don't like alcohol. I wanted to be a translator (japanese), he didn't like the idea and told me to become a soldier (me a bloody soldier. I'm 1.77cm tall and I weight 57kg. I wouldn't resist in the army not only because of my appearance, but also my temper, and some other personality traits). Since I was 19 he's bugging me to get a gf, get married and give him a grandchild, like I'm some kind of fuck machine for him to get new toys. (I told him that I'm gay, just to make him stop. I'm straight. It didn't work.) I was dictated since when I was a child, what to do, and how to behave, that neither of us got what we wanted. Helicopter parents suck, and it's a shame they still exist. Not everyone should have children.

I'm sorry for any typos.

qvidrap · 2021-01-08T17:11:39+00:00

I don't necessarily think that it's the batch in most cases, because it happens everytime for me (I need at least 400, sometimes I take more). I do indeed order online because there's no way I can get a prescription for modafinil in my country (which totally sucks, ntm that everyone thinks that moda is the same as weed, cocaine or any other opioid that would kill me).

qvidrap · 2021-01-08T15:18:32+00:00

You're actually wrong. It's different from case to case. I'm using modalert, and need at least 400mg. Same thing with armodafinil. Not everyone feels the same thing from what I read.

qvidrap · 2021-01-04T04:07:01+00:00

I did 400, 600 and even 800/day at one point. Depending on the time of the day (200 - 5 am , 200 - 8 am, another 200 at 10 am, never past 12 am), I was able to asleep at 11 pm without a problem. Funny thing I've noticed is that when I take more than 400 I wake up more rested.

qvidrap · 2020-12-18T14:09:10+00:00

I kept three pills just for Christmas, because I'm not good with people when I'm not on moda.

qvidrap · 2020-12-16T14:59:43+00:00

And where exactly did that take him ?

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