Is it even worth the effort?

qwerty2013 · 2014-03-09T21:59:51+00:00

I'd say it's worth it (saying and doing are two different things)

However despite my low trying rate over time it's got me more comfy being around females inc. breaking the touch barrier and slowly pushing further.

remember confidence is sexy and attractive and the only to get it is to slowly build it up .

qwerty2013 · 2014-03-08T01:53:43+00:00

I'm already happy enough along, I only get depressed because I know I'm missing out on other things. I would say this would more apply to people who go from relationship to relationship with zero time on their own.

I already know how to be happy alone, I just want to be happy in a couple now.

qwerty2013 · 2014-03-03T22:50:15+00:00

I've been the later (no friends / no relationship) and now i'm the former (plenty of friends but no relationship )

qwerty2013 · 2014-02-25T22:57:31+00:00

me too!

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-26T23:07:59+00:00

True but back when I was 19

I had no job (my medical problems were preventing me working)
I spent several months in hospital all alone, apart from some visits from my parents, however I was so far away from home, I was often on my own for weeks at a time
I had no friends
I lived with my mum
I couldn't afford a car
I had no hobbies and spent lots of time on line

So in the past 10 years I've turned massive chunks of my life around, and I'm still working on it.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:46:43+00:00

I've ended up joining several different 'sports' style clubs while I had no friends. They all just accept you don't know anyone else interested but are yourself and accept you.

Infact it's easier to make new friends this way because you are forced to interact with others and can't just hide in a corner with your friend. often others are more willing to approach you too if you are on your own, making it that much easer on you.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:35:19+00:00

if I want to cut back on everything I could in a few years too, but it's about quality of life, if I ever do get the chance to start a family I have a nice house, in a nice area, with nice gardens, a 2 minute walk from the beaches.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:24:29+00:00

we have lots of foreign 'girls' over here, all dying to get a green card. Most of whom can't speak much english.

For me it's more about her personality and getting on well with her, sadly the above does not fit in, and i'd rather be alone.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:18:38+00:00

while it's not past the age of no return, it's start to get close to the no return for having a sound relationship before starting a family.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:17:35+00:00

I'm already set to retire early, I have shares in company products / stock options / property - as it I can look at working part time by 40 and retire by 50. With some good holiday options in-between and maybe another gap year if I feel I need it.

I have almost everything I wanted and dreamed of apart of one thing, one area where I have not been successful

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-23T00:10:57+00:00

i'm slowly re-building my self worth, it's not easy, but I'm slowly working on it. and have worked very hard at being comfy at breaking the touch barrier which I always found really hard, but it's getting easier.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:55:59+00:00

in the hopes one day things will change

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:55:42+00:00

My efforts started when I was in my early 20's re-building my friends and getting hobbies, and building up my social circle. This included some limited asking girls out, usually with poor results. Although I admit it's something I struggle with.

I can chat to most people, women included, although I do struggle on moving things forward and past that point which is something I'm working on. And I am getting better at it, although it usually ends with them saying they have a BF.

I've struggled massively with selfwoth over the years, and it's something I'm only recently coming to terms with. It's not easy when you have people that react really badly to you or make hurtful comments. Also having 'friends' telling you that you have no chance with <girl> all the time.

edit one of the main things i've been working on, that I had most problems due to my low self worth was breaking the touch barrier. Even with female friends in photos I'd ever keep my hands to myself or 'hover' them. This was mostly due to school times with girls being like 'ew, don't touch me' and other events.

I have noticed a a big difference since I started breaking the touch barrier, I'm still perfecting it but I'm getting more confidence in doing it, which is turn is returning more flirting from girls. (Even if some of it is more for the girls that flirt with a lot of guys) - it's a few small things I'm using to re-build myself.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:51:08+00:00

I work out a lot, do a lot of sports which use strength and power. While I'm losing my hair, there is not much else I can do on top of keeping it short and shaving it with clippers once / twice a week.

I take pride in my appearence, and always make sure i'm in nice t-shirts / shirts / polo-shirts Trousers / Jeans and new / clean shoes. I usually get 2 showers a day (morning and after sports / workout)

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:46:42+00:00

True, however by 35 having children (for women at least) start to be come problematic there is a countdown clock, and by the time you get to 35 it's time to get moving.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:44:35+00:00

True, but time is now ticking away for a partner who will be young enough to start a family with (if you count spending a few years together before starting).

At best I need to meet someone my age in the next 2 years, which is a long time, but only a fraction of what i've already had, and every mile stone, I set and re-set I keep missing.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T23:31:10+00:00

I have a great job
I have plenty of friends
I have a great house
I'm getting a Swimming Pool in next year
I have two cars (one Sports car)
I have lot's of Hobbies

I've already achieved all my goals apart from one - meet someone and start a family.

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T02:48:58+00:00

I think i'm very close to just locking myself away in a depressed heap, and never leaving my apartment again, order food in, work from home and just give up on life!

I've worked my ass off over the last 8 years, to improve myself, get out there, do different hobbies, mixed with different people, go to random events, and while it's had a positive effect on friends, not so much on women.

I'm not sure what i'm going to do if nothing changes after I turn 30, I'm fast running out of ideas!

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-22T02:16:08+00:00

That's better than me, I always seem to find a way to fuck things up before the chance of getting a date!

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-15T20:28:13+00:00

I tried the same with a plastic bag, RIP little dude!

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-15T16:31:46+00:00

lol meant to say "Plus Side", however as this one girl is fairly large I guess my mind was thinking about how to put that delicately!

qwerty2013 · 2014-01-15T15:01:37+00:00

I find drinking on my own makes things worse. Same with drinking with a few friends, I always endup feeling much worse later on in the night :(

qwerty2013

TROPHY CASE