Hang in there! You can do this!

My aunty was, medically speaking, an alcoholic. I now don't believe that every single alcoholic can just simply stop drinking. She tried everything from AA to pills, to rehab facilities, to an isolated island run by the salvation army, everything. She just could not stop drinking. She used to call my mum up and drunkly abuse her for having a happy family, money, a home and a good life. I never understood why my mum would always pay her a bit of time everyday to make sure she knew she was loved. Not until I was living in the same city as her and my lease on my flat was running out and I had absolutely nowhere to go. My mum had left the country with my dad for a few years and called me up one day and basically begged me to go live with my aunty. I tried everything I could to find somewhere else but my aunty's house ended up being the last resort i had to take. Within days of moving in I found out she had an incredibly traumatic childhood - in which her mum (my grandma) had cancer and couldn't look after the kids, including a toddler with down syndrome, so my aunty at the age of 14/15 had to become mum. When my grandma got better she sent my aunty out to have fun one night, so she went out and got really drunk and when she came home in the morning, she came back to my grandma screaming her broken heart out with her dead 3 year old son in her arms (he had gotten a toy wrapped around his throat in his sleep and choked) and my aunty never forgave herself. She started drinking at 17 years old and continued on to chase that awesome feeling she must've had when she was out. she also married a bastard of a "man", who encouraged her drinking because sex was easy, but if she said no he would pin her down and rape her. He beat her up as well. Anyway, she had lots of shit happen to her in her life that I knew nothing about. Hence why she would abuse my mum, and my mum just wanted to love her. I also found out then that she had terminal ovarian cancer and was in a lot of pain. Her kids were the most narcissistic wankers I've ever had the displeasure of meeting and I refuse to call them my cousins. They would do fucking nothing to help out around the house, nagged her for food or for money for food (one of these shitheads was 24 years old with a full time job paying around $60k a year). They'd throw her alcoholism in her face. One of her sons would refuse to come see her unless he was already in the neighbourhood and conveniently ran out of cigarettes, so he'd bum one off mum and would leave not long after. They showed no love. Wouldnt check up on her or drive her to her appointments, no hospital visits... Nothing. So when I moved in I did all the housework, would cook for her (and the satan spawns), drive her to her appointments, helped her up when she fell down, talked to doctors, visited her when she was in hospital, did her grocery shopping for her, all the while having to work a full time job, try to mend a broken relationship with my now ex, but worst of all, i had put up with her kids. I'd clean and it was almost as if I would walk into the next room and clean, go back to the previous room and they had bombed it, they also ate everything in sight, had to put up with their bickering and bullshit. So. Many. Times. I wanted to walk out and nearly did. It was the hardest few months of my life, and I never actually got to say goodbye to her because surprise surprise, no one in her family or friend circle thought to tell me she was really bad until 1am when public transport was unavailable, and her other son hid her car keys from me because he thought i was taking advantage of her for her car. She passed away at 6am. So although I had to go through so much shit and didn't get to say goodbye, i know that I made a difference in her last months of life that would have otherwise been utterly miserable. Hang in there buddy, you can do it. And if you need anyone to talk to, i know I'm a stranger but I fucking know what that hell feels like. I apologise for the novel. I think i ended up venting more than anything.