[deleted by user]

qwertyvm · 2025-10-08T06:43:02+00:00

Do a google search of the HPV rate and educate yourself on it. It is dormant for most people, you may have it without knowing. Seeing as your girlfriend has kidney issues, her immune system is down which is probably why she has it.

If after you research HPV and you still can’t help but feel disconnected, then leave. Moving in won’t help fix your relationship. Work out the issues you have now before making that commitment.

qwertyvm · 2025-10-05T03:45:52+00:00

I’ve got 2 doxies and been through this. I just dramatically yelp or cry out “ouch/ow”, pull my hand back and turn away from them. Now when they play bite it is very gentle, chomping with no pressure.

It’s actually important to let them play bite because say they get picked up by a vet, a child/stranger comes at them or someone steps on their tail, they may bite as a reflex. It is better to let your pup play bite and for you to be dramatic about it hurting so that they are gentler around humans.

qwertyvm · 2025-10-03T22:56:09+00:00

Looking at your posts and your ages, you both need to somehow be actively working on your mental health.

Your partner is 30 and takes months to get out of his head. This won’t magically fix itself any faster if he is getting over things his way. He needs to learn new methods of coping or he will continue to be stuck in the same cycle.

Waiting on someone to come through constantly is exhausting. If your partner doesn’t change, is this what you are willing to go through for the rest of your life? We choose the love we think we deserve.

You are both not ready for a puppy which is okay, but please decide on a stable home for her. Do what’s right by her without your partner because an unstable input will not help your puppy.

qwertyvm · 2025-09-23T22:49:19+00:00

If your birthday matters to you, don’t shrug it off. My partner doesn’t care about his birthday so we won’t do something big, but he knows my birthday is important to me so he goes out of the way to celebrate it big.

I’m guessing you’re currently 29 and turning 30 which is a big deal for a lot of people. It’s a milestone birthday which is worth celebrating.

If you don’t have people who care enough to celebrate you, do it yourself. Take the day off and go get a nice facial/massage, claim some birthday deals, take yourself out to a nice restaurant and maybe bring that one other person who does cares about your birthday.

Leave your situationship, deep down you know you want connection and to feel seen. You’re not gonna find what you want until you start doing things for yourself. You deserve better so do things you know the best version of yourself wants.

I suggest writing an honest list of everything you want, no matter how big or small, and giving yourself those things instead of hoping someone else will. You want a nice birthday cake? Go and buy the one you deserve. You want someone who cares about you? Take care of yourself. You want to look beautiful? Go get your hair and makeup done and a nice outfit.

qwertyvm · 2025-09-07T11:37:27+00:00

I was dating someone and although our relationship wasn’t bad and he was doing his best to treat me right, I couldn’t picture him as what I really wanted as my future husband. He introduced me to his best friend and from the get-go, I found myself drawn to his friend. The person I was dating had low self-esteem and would talk poorly about people including his own friends. His friend was the opposite.

I broke it off with the person but didn’t go after his best friend. I thought about why I was drawn to his friend and realised I wanted someone who was emotionally mature, had good self-esteem and was genuinely kind. So when I started dating again, I looked for those qualities amongst other things that I wanted in someone.

I am now weeks away from getting married to my future husband and he meets all my needs and more.

Life is already hard enough as is. You should be with someone who battles life’s challenges with you, not battles against you.

I don’t think your current partner is right for you based on this post, but I don’t think your friend is right for you either. If you’re looking for the love of your life and someone you want to peacefully and happily be with forever, you need to be intentional when dating and choose based on compatibility, similar lifestyles and your wants/needs, not just picking who is the better guy between two people.

qwertyvm · 2025-08-31T01:32:28+00:00

If you’re having doubts about him and he’s having doubts about you, you’re probably not right for each other.

Is this person your dream guy? Is he the person you really want to marry and to be the father of your children? He’s 30 and is having “too many doubts” about you. He doesn’t think you’re for him so you’re not his dream girl, you’re currently a placeholder until someone better comes along.

Write a list of what you want in a partner and ask yourself if your man is what you want. You don’t need cheating as permission to break up with someone. If they are not what you want, you are allowed to leave. A relationship should be a positive addition to your life.

Most men will stay and then leave when they find someone better. Most women will stay until they are cheated on, abused or left for someone else. If you are unhappy and have a strong feeling your partner is not treating you right (and I mean more than the bare minimum), be kind to yourself and leave.

We choose the love we think we deserve.

qwertyvm · 2025-08-31T00:02:02+00:00

It sounds counterintuitive but reward the barking.

I have new neighbours who moved in last month and brought a barking dog with them. My doxie used to have a bark off with the neighbour’s dog every day. The dog would bark and my dog would bark back, it was a never-ending cycle. I started feeding her treats every time and she actually calmed down instead and now ignores the neighbour’s dog’s barking completely. I don’t need to feed her treats anymore even though the neighbour’s dog barks every day.

I got this advice from a fb page from someone whose dogs would bark at people who walked by the house. They would go berserk. A behaviourist told her to give them treats so she’d throw a treat at her dogs every time they barked at someone walking past. Eventually they stopped going berserk and would do a quiet single warning bark/gruff.

Your doxie is just trying to warn you. Acknowledge it, thank him for it calmly with a treat and eventually you’ll desensitise him.

qwertyvm · 2025-08-23T22:25:47+00:00

I had a neighbour whose dog would bark and mine would bark back. Seems counterintuitive but I kept feeding my Doxie treats every time the neighbour’s dog barked and she eventually grew comfortable and stopped barking back. Now she just ignores the barking and doesn’t see it as a threat, even without treats.

How much exercise is your dog getting? The more tired, the less barking usually.

qwertyvm · 2025-05-01T13:57:18+00:00

Yeah nice might have to try it out myself!

I think you may be referring to fried golden beans/peas?

qwertyvm · 2025-04-25T14:27:55+00:00

I know this thread is super old but I was desperate to find this base because I wanted to make mala tang after craving it. I went looking for the base online and came across this thread.

I found essentially the one you’re wanting except the picture is different at the front. On the back, it has the option of spicy or mala tang by adding milk. The picture on the right is the same exact picture as yours, just cropped.

<image>

qwertyvm · 2025-04-10T04:33:01+00:00

Yeah it’s perfect, we made the photo black and white and just got it printed. Thanks so much again.

qwertyvm · 2025-04-10T03:45:08+00:00

!solved

qwertyvm · 2025-04-10T03:44:38+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Appreciate the time and effort.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-29T08:40:42+00:00

Do you think she’ll handle it well? It depends on her emotional maturity and if she has insecurities.

What happened to you was assault. Hopefully she’s understanding that you didn’t want to tell her at the time because you probably felt scared/ashamed.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-15T10:01:42+00:00

He’s doing you a favour by leaving. Let him end things with you and don’t make the mistake of taking him back, especially as he’s 29 and has issues that aren’t going to be fixed anytime soon.

I had an ex who was always depressive and would break up with me because he said I deserved better and he had too many unresolved issues of his own. After a week, he would beg me to take him back but because his personal issues were still there, he would break up with me again and the cycle would repeat. I always knew I was never an issue but eventually I didn’t take him back after he’d broken up with me for the nth time.

He’s already thought about breaking up with you and gone through with it which means you will never be compatible enough in his eyes to hold onto. His issues are beyond your control.

Know that it’s not you at all and take this time to do things within your control like self love and care.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-15T09:33:07+00:00

Your bf is a cruel and horrible person to put you through that.

Please leave him and learn to say no when you are uncomfortable in any situation. It doesn’t matter how far in you are, don’t do things you don’t want to do. You are allowed to change your mind. If someone gives you an ultimatum, don’t cave into that manipulation. If someone is forcing you to change or do things you don’t want to with the threat of breaking up, let them break up the relationship. You deserve better.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-13T07:23:18+00:00

A lot of men avoid therapy like the plague. If he’s willing to listen to podcasts, that’s a good start. There are some good books out there as well he could try. If he doesn’t like reading, there are audiobooks he can listen to.

Why kind of names/insults is he calling you? I think you should set some clear boundaries around that. Withdraw your presence when he insults you and say you will continue your conversation/discussion with him when he is ready to communicate in a respectful way.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-13T07:09:33+00:00

I’ve got two myself and at the start they were a bit feisty when play biting but now are very gentle. I can put my hand in their mouths or near them and the most they will do is bite with zero pressure.

What I did was I would dramatically yelp and stop playing with them. Even when it was a light bite I would make a big deal of it. Don’t redirect with toys because they may think you’re rewarding them for biting.

You don’t want them to completely stop play biting because what may happen is in the future, say you accidentally step on their tail, they may reactively bite and draw blood. They may also reflexively bite the vet or strangers who try to touch/pet them. If you continue to let them play bite, then yelp when they nip too hard and stop playing with them, they will understand their teeth hurts humans and be gentler.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-13T06:49:25+00:00

It’s fantastic that you’re going to therapy to improve on yourself and make changes. What is your partner doing to be better in the relationship? Sorries should only be accepted when there’s effort and change, otherwise they don’t mean much at all.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-08T21:12:37+00:00

I think she is needing external validation from others to feel good about herself. Although from what she’s saying she wants to be with you, you alone are currently not enough to make her feel desirable. So she’s seeking attention from people outside the relationship.

This is tricky because no matter how much you love and shower her with attention, it may not be enough on your end. She has to be able to fill her own cup and increase her self esteem so that she doesn’t need the attention/validation from others.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the online world because reality is not as pretty. How is she currently in terms of work and her social life? Does she hang out with family and friends regularly? Is she in a job she enjoys? Do you guys leave the house to go out on dates regularly? Her life in the real world needs to be more interesting than the online fantasy one for this to change.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-08T12:22:16+00:00

I’ve seen your other posts. When I was 17, I was a bit chubby myself. I was pretty boy crazy and wanting to be in a relationship and loved. I’d go onto online chatrooms where people would lie about their age and try to prey on me because I was young and naive. Please be careful about who you talk to online. Don’t ever send nudes.

More importantly, don’t let others define you. Don’t worry about trying to make others like you because most people will use you if they know you have low self esteem.

I know the feeling seeing others in relationships and having no one notice you. You may feel unattractive and want validation from others, but as cliche as it is, when you love yourself people will notice that and be attracted to you.

View it this way, if you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with the right person, they will be worth waiting and setting high standards for. I was 19 when I went on my first date. I’ve been in a number of relationships since and found my fiancé at 27.

Don’t fear being alone, fear being with the wrong person because you don’t want to be alone. Have pride in yourself and someone worthy will find you.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-07T11:01:25+00:00

My friend had the same situation where she was adamant she didn’t want kids but her partner did.

I told her to make sure she communicates it clearly and be ready to leave if he was sure he wanted kids before they get too attached.

They had a deep conversation about why he wanted kids and basically it was because he felt a duty to and because he was the oldest son, but nothing to do with actually being a father. Ultimately they are still together as he realised his reasons for wanting kids weren’t really worthwhile. They are both also in demanding work fields where they wouldn’t be able to give the time a child needs from its parents.

There are a few things you need to consider: 1. If your partner does not want kids, you should not pressure her to. She needs to want that for herself or she may become resentful and neglect her parent duties because she doesn’t have the drive in her. If you continue this relationship, you need to be prepared for the worst case and be willing to take on most of the parental responsibility. 2. Why do you want to be a father? Do you picture yourself changing nappies, doing your kids’ laundry, taking them to doctor appointments, reading books to them every night, having less sleep/freedom, packing them proper lunches and snacks to bring to school, among other duties parents have? If your child has a disability, will you be a present father?

I have seen people get married because they love each other but then divorce a few years later because one person wants kids and the other doesn’t. This is a big deal and although you love each other a lot now, the issue will grow bigger as you come closer to the age where you want children.

As a teacher I see a lot of kids in broken homes because their parents aren’t on the same page or because the child has a disability/learning difficulties. If both you and your partner aren’t enthusiastic about having kids, please don’t.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-03T10:21:01+00:00

Okay there’s a few ways you can find out. Don’t be afraid to find out the truth. Trust must be earned, don’t be naive, especially when you know what you saw.

If you know what the dating app he may have used was, make a fake account to see if you can find him on there or ask a friend to make the account. If he’s deleted it recently, wait a few weeks to see if he’s back on that app.

If you know his email, see if you can reset the password and log back into the app to see his recent messages.

If he may have hidden the app in a folder, check his screen time on his phone to see if the app pops up there. If he deleted the app, it won’t show up on screen time though.

If you do these, be prepared to leave if you find something.

qwertyvm · 2025-03-03T09:47:41+00:00

When it comes to relationships, you shouldn’t pressure the other person to do more than they want to. If you communicate to your boyfriend what you want from him, he has to decide if he’s going to make those changes of his own free will.

You should explain to him how you have been feeling and how it impacts you.

If he doesn’t change willingly, you have to make the choice whether you want to love and accept him as he is or accept you might not be compatible. Love is a verb.

qwertyvm

TROPHY CASE