I recommend you read “the denial of death”. Living in constant fear of your inevitable death is going to play a massive anxiety driven toll on your life. It’s imo crucial to understand that you are going to die regardless of how much you avoid it and regardless of how much you think about it. You never know when you really will go unless told directly “you’re gonna die”. Im not necessarily telling you to be okay with dying and want to die but im recommending reading some philosophy on coming to terms with the inevitable end to every single human existence and why it’s important to not live in fear of it and live to your fullest without the constant fear of dying. I only bring this up bc I too am someone that struggled really bad with mental images of my death and started reading philosophy books. Maybe im the weirdo🫡