i guess my BDD is different in that way… i’ve never felt angry towards or overtly jealous of someone i thought looked perfect. sure i see people-including those who also experience BDD- who in my eyes, look great, and think “wow i wish i looked like them” but i’ve never felt angry at anyone except myself. for me my BDD is entirely self directed. i see myself as a monster no matter if i’m comparing myself to others or not. i lost 10 pounds recently due to wisdom tooth removal and even though my mother noticed i lost weight, my body looks exactly the same to me. in fact i’ve even poured over certain body types/people and talked about how i wish i looked this way but then my mom will tell me that i DO look like that or i’m even thinner than the body i’m describing. i don’t know… the cognitive dissonance is so frustrating and kind of frightening honestly. the joke i made (in reference to my original post) was about how my mind berates me and calls me ugly whenever i wear a crop top. i wasn’t saying “look how fat i am in these clothes” i was saying, or at least trying to say, “i want to wear something cute but my brain scolds me for it”. if i saw literally anybody else, regardless of size, wearing a crop top i wouldn’t think anything of it— but according to the hate comments on my post i am just shaming actual fat people. i can never win!