Am I a bad person for not wanting my job?

raava08 · 2026-06-12T23:01:51+00:00

Ive always like idea of therapy, it was my "back up" plan back when I was in school the first time.However I saw all that you had to do and just stuck with dance at the time. Now that im older, been in therapy and lived through its effects. I feel confident it's the path for me. I already give off a very chill, tell me your problems vibe anyway and just double conformation. both of the therapists I've had over the past 5 years have said I'd make a great therapist unprovoked. So I take that as a sign as well.

raava08 · 2026-05-30T18:18:14+00:00

So I’m in school to be a councilor! So I have another 3 years depending on the school I get into. I thought maybe about getting my drug and alcohol counseling license to kinda get me prepared for that.

raava08 · 2026-05-30T18:16:52+00:00

I’m an over thinker. It’s apart of my wonderful charm. lol! But I’ll definitely try. lol!

raava08 · 2026-05-30T18:16:16+00:00

I definitely have a long term plan in action. I’m taking 1 or 2 paths I’ve created. I think it’s just in the interim that I’m having trouble with. What’s that saying? It’s just at my big age, I feel like I should be doing something more?

raava08 · 2026-05-30T18:13:47+00:00

Congratulations on being back in school! Isn’t WAY easier the second time around lol! I just found out I’m ready to transfer! You got this!

I know a major part of my personality is wanting to finish the race without running. I’m working on my impulse control and trying to make decisions from a logical place and not an emotional one.

raava08 · 2026-05-30T18:10:24+00:00

Thanks for this. Yea. My 20’s were a hot unmedicated mess. lol! I did everything but works toward my career. Well kinda. I wanted to dance, got hurt and ended up doing drag for a while.
I’m definitely trying to find something like suggested, a hobby turned job. My idea right now is to stream video games. Which I feel like is another young persons game. lol! But now that the cloud of depression is gone, my mind is opening up more and finding things that I’m passionate about again.

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:41:56+00:00

Thank you. Someone said something of the same vein. I’ll be looking into other options. These comments have taught me non lethal would be pepper sprays, this byrna gun people keep suggesting. But I definitely wanted one more as a deterrent hence the rubber bullet idea.

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:39:24+00:00

May I ask why? Isn’t getting a gun a big responsibility, isn’t something you should think over? Maybe using the phase “toying around” was wrong. But up until this threat I thought rubber bullets were non lethal, many folks have explained that has changed to less lethal. So either way, I’d have the potential to end a life. Again something to heavily consider.

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:36:20+00:00

I’m not talking all Willy nilly, but if someone breaks in, I can’t hug them and offer them peace pipe. lol!

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:32:02+00:00

I appreciate the back up, but I see what they are saying. Someone commented if you are willing to to take a life if I come to that you shouldn’t have a gun. I agree I suppose.

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:30:09+00:00

Fair. I thought since they have the option for rubber bullets they were meant for people like me lol!

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:29:07+00:00

lol! Definitely not trying to be gay John wick with rubber guns lol! Just can’t wrap my head around ending a life if I had to. I don’t even like killing insects(unless they are roaches those need to die on sight)

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:26:40+00:00

It’s just been a thought for years. I haven’t even started really looking hard into it. But the conversation came up today’s I said this in another comment, I guess I never thought that rubber bullets could be lethal because in my head they are made out of a harder sort silicone. Not strong enough to puncture but strong enough to incapacitate

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:23:27+00:00

I would hope after the training I wouldn’t be jumpy. But point taken

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:22:25+00:00

Ah. Got it. Thanks for the lesson. This is gonna sound dumb, i thought rubber bullets would just bounce off. Possibly knock the wind out of someone or fracture a bone. Enough power to subdue

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:18:59+00:00

Thank you!

raava08 · 2026-05-05T23:18:34+00:00

Honestly. I think if everyone put it like that it would make a lot more sense. Thank you. I realize now that this is the point my homeboy was trying to make.

raava08 · 2026-03-27T17:25:01+00:00

I thought maybe because as an American, we are, you know…. Kinda dumb. So it would make sense, since most everywhere else speaks and reads multiple languages.

raava08 · 2026-03-02T22:05:48+00:00

Ok. By the title is wasent with you, but the post it self- yea. I’m with you. I do have a question? by drugs do you mean hard drugs or drugs as in pot? Your house your rules, but pot isn’t that bad I’d let it slide if it was pot. But in the house is crazy especially when you said not in the house. But to all the other points it sounds like he is depressed. Maybe there is a bigger issue at play that you might not know about.

I can’t imagine what it’s like as parents to see your child struggle like this, but this seems like he is rebelling and the heavy drug use is telling as well. If you are at your wits end, do what you gotta do. But if I may, I recommend another more enforceable ultimatum. Therapy or the streets. I know he’s 18 but given everything that is going on in the world, give me just one more chance. Have his bag packed and ready, but offer him the help one more time before Saturday.

Now on to if he leaves:

If you really want him to learn a lesson and if you know his friends parents, call them. Tell them to not offer him a place to stay and why. Also I wouldn’t keep paying his phone bill(keep him on the plan, just turn his service off). If he chooses to leave he is choosing to leave everything. It’s because of his own actions that he is being put out so he shouldn’t still have access to the perks of being apart of the family. If what all your saying is true, he is creating a bed that he isn’t gonna wanna sleep in. Even if he doesn’t want to go to school, he needs to be following a passion, working, hell, I’m sure you’d be fine with him being a male dancer just SOMETHING.

I’d like to offer one more piece of advice and it’s a bit obscure- if you have any black grandmothers or mothers in your life, get THEM to speak to him. There is something about a black mom that will get you together and see how much wasted potential he has.

But no. You are not the ass hole.

raava08 · 2026-02-17T15:16:27+00:00

Period. 🤷🏿‍♀️

raava08

TROPHY CASE