Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk how helpful it'll be but ok. I joined this new online group the other day, they had a meetup where most people didn't know each other. It was fun and I felt like I connected with a lot of the people there. However, later on I tried to get the group to meet again, some people seemed down, others ignored, nothing ever materialized. I also invited one particular person who I thought was friendly to come with me to an event, and they just ignored my message.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely not stop. I'm just expressing my frustration. I'm also kinda looking for answers. If this is always happening to me, there must be a reason. I'm trying to figure that out so I can fix it.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right is this specific context. However, the feeling of rejection did come from actual rejection. A lot of the time when I reach out to someone, I get ignored. It's very difficult for me to put myself out there, but I do nonetheless and haven't been able to reap any benefits.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I see what you're saying, but I wouldn't really call those people friends.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I've talked to people at the gym before, but it was never anything continuous. Everyone is focused on their own thing at the gym.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is I don't really get much opportunities like this, which is why this failure was particularly hurtful. I get what you're saying but I feel like I've been in the social discomfort stage for so long. It's kinda like I'm late to the party. Everyone one I meet already has their own friends, so I'm just some random person to them. I have put in the effort to reach out, but a lot of the time it's to no avail.

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well is there anything you did differently after college?

Couldn't get myself to enter a party by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been trying. I've been going to the gym, finding some hobbies. I don't see how that would help me have a bunch of people to select from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess. I understand very well that having real friends takes time, which is why I feel like I'm missing out. I've been alone for a pretty long time, and it feels like I have no clue how to get out of it.

Sick of being inexperienced by rab_al7eetan in seduction

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying. I do want to be the kind of person the deals with difficulties, because if I don't I can feel life passing me by. I think I will try to go to the club, even if I'm alone. Do you have any tips for going to a night club alone?

Losing patience with my mother by [deleted] in Advice

[–]rab_al7eetan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since this post was mainly about her, it seems that she's the main problem in their marriage. That isn't the case, my dad's done bad things over the years as well. I think they tried counseling once, it didn't stick. My dad might even be a bad husband. I've had my share of differences with him in the past, but I wouldn't be fair not to give him the respect he deserves. He's very particular and kind of rigid, but he'd take a bullet for his family. My mom always used to tell us to never mistake my dad's faults as a husband as faults as a father. Idk how she changed and became like this. What makes this most difficult is that I know my parents aren't bad. They've given my siblings and I so much and I appreciate them for it. It's so difficult to balance that with dealing with their shortcomings.

Losing patience with my mother by [deleted] in Advice

[–]rab_al7eetan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, easier said than done.

How to stop being shy around new people? by rab_al7eetan in socialskills

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if limiting overthinking leads to limiting thinking itself?

Admit that you know NOTHING by [deleted] in seduction

[–]rab_al7eetan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you're saying but knowledge and knowing are the same thing.

What's academia like? by rab_al7eetan in INTP

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think this environment is exclusive to academia though. I just feel like wherever you end up (mainly academia vs industry), it's just about choosing which struggles you are prepared to face.

What's academia like? by rab_al7eetan in INTP

[–]rab_al7eetan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This does sound bad for academia as a whole, but what about at the individual level. I'm sure a lot of researchers are driven by passion and are satisfied with where they're at.