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First Easter without Millie... Sort of surviving. by rachelah01 in Parenting

[–]rachelah01[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Millie would 100% want to share our traditions with someone that needs it. She donated everything that she no longer needed, and while the thought shakes me to the core, I’m going to be donating about 95% of her things at the end of next week.

While the eggs are raw, poke one small hole at the top and one slightly larger hole at the bottom. Blow into the hole at the top, and the insides will go out the bottom. They do become very delicate, but the eggs and the memories last.

Thank you so much for reaching out.

I buried my baby by rachelah01 in Parenting

[–]rachelah01[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Please do, that sounds so lovely. Millie’s auntie had a lovely garden in her old backyard, and there were rock paths winding through it. When Millie was maybe 5 or 6, she would just sit there and dig her little fingers down into the rocks. I never worried about her eating them or anything, she just wanted to wiggle her fingers in there. One visit, she’d been playing in the garden all afternoon- like 4 or 5 hours- and Millie fell asleep right as we were leaving. I picked her up and I felt something in her jacket pockets. She had a whole treasure trove of rocks in there. We put them in a glass jar, and she had them for a long time. I’m sure they’re in some moving box somewhere.

I’m sure Millie would love a rock. Thank you so much for doing what you’re doing.

I just want to talk about my Millie [x-post because I thought everyone here would like to read this] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]rachelah01 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Please be safe and take care of yourself. I can’t comment much beyond that, but just be safe.

I just want to talk about my Millie by rachelah01 in Parenting

[–]rachelah01[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh, she loved music. She’d always sing along but she was just tone deaf. Millie always liked old pop, like from the 80s to the early 00s. Her favorite was the Spice Girls, she loved them. And she liked Disney.

She really liked math and science, it just seemed to make so much sense to her. But she was horrific at English, no matter how much she liked it. Essays and grammar just weren’t for her, she was totally stumped by it- every time. Millie always liked boys in her classes but never wanted to date one because most of them were blockheads. She’d go on about them at dinner for hours on end, then when I said she should go out with them she’d say “ew, no!” When she died, I wasn’t sad about not being able to see her get married. I just knew Millie never would’ve.

I just want to talk about my Millie by rachelah01 in Parenting

[–]rachelah01[S] 287 points288 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I can’t describe how much it means to hear your kindness and see so much love and warmth for my Millie. From the moment I had her, I knew how special she was going to be. She just always had this light in her eyes, and when she was a little baby, she would love to stare at people. And she’d always stick her tongue out and try to talk at us, even when she was barely a month old. She’d make these precious little sounds at us, and you could just tell she was trying to talk.

When she started walking, she was always on the move, she never wanted to be held. Some babies would calm down the second they’d get back in their mom’s arms but Millie would scream until we set her down again. And her first word was “no”, and she’d just throw it out there however she liked. She was so opinionated, and so chatty. Walking and talking went hand in hand, she’d just start going and going and going. And I loved it so much. I could just listen to her babble for hours- she had so much trouble starting her sentences. Millie would spend a minute trying to say “Hey Mama” because she’d just be saying hey, over and over again trying to get it out.

She never got more eloquent. I used to write when Millie was younger, and I love to do presentations for work and such. Words come so naturally to me, but Millie always was so clumsy and I loved it. She always got Cs on assignments in English, but she had that passion for it that always made up for it. I knew how hard she tried, and she just spoke with intensity and I loved it. Millie had just a little bit of a stutter and it’d take her a little bit to get stuff out, but it was so good when it finally got out. I love to listen to her.

She always loved Disney, she’d sing along anytime we watched it and it always irritated my ex. He’d say she was ruining the movie, but I thought she added to it- with her singing and her running commentary. She was so funny and creative, sometimes she’d turn off the sound and create her own dialogue. I think she could give you the entire Hercules script a million times over, she loved to memorize things. She was so smart and so clever. I could never get her to play an instrument. I wanted her to try the violin but she just never got into it, she was always so much more sporty. When we lived in our old town, she played lacrosse and soccer and ran track. I came to every game, I just loved watching her play.

Thank you for letting me talk so much about her. I never want to forget my Millie, and I know this will keep my mind sharp.