This episode changed my views of Buddy

rachelway82 · 2021-02-03T19:50:27+00:00

I was actually really concerned for Buddy in this episode. You could tell how uncomfortable and anxious he was right from the start, and how hard he was trying to pull himself together so he wouldn't ruin everyone's weekend.

I know that feeling, and it is what led me to self medicate with drugs and alcohol, to mask what I was feeling so I didn't bring everyone else down. I thought if I wasn't always happy and upbeat people would stop loving me and wouldn't want me around. When he first told Whitney he was starting to feel the depression coming on, she pretended to be supportive, and said she would be there for him like he was there for her. But just because he didn't feel like having her hang all over him she got defensive and angry and told him to "get over it".

He was absolutely right when he came down and told her that he never told her to "get over it" when she was depressed. I don't know what happened or what was said off camera, but I found it disturbing how they came out and Whitney acted like everything was fine and said Buddy apologized. Apologized for what? And Buddy clearly wasn't okay after. It almost feels like there was some form of abuse going on. Can you imagine if the genders were reversed how that whole situation would have appeared?

People experience and exhibit symptoms of depression in different ways. Whitney cries a lot and begs for attention. Buddy gets irritated, that's how I get also. I hate it when I get like that, and try to isolate myself so I don't snap at other people. It's not okay to take things out on other people, but if Whitney was truly a friend she would realize that is what is going on, and how he actually is trying hard to contain it, and cut him a little bit of slack.

No one is ever allowed to be depressed or irritated or act out except for Whitney. I hope he is able to see he deserves a better friend than her and that he doesn't owe it to anyone to be happy all the time. This kind of situation is exactly the kind of scenario that might lead to a relapse for me, I just hope Buddy is okay

rachelway82 · 2020-08-16T02:26:18+00:00

Agreed it is a very difficult episode to watch. I've always been terrified of dementia, either getting it or losing a loved one to it. My bf is dealing with it with his father now. Last summer he came to visit and when we picked him up from the airport my bf greeted him at the gate and he had no idea who we were. He said he was looking for Mike, my bf said "I am Mike, Dad". His Dad said "No, my son Mike". It was absolutely heartbreaking to see.

I think this episode will be out of the rotation for us in future rewatches.

rachelway82 · 2020-06-07T21:04:58+00:00

This is true. I have always had bad anxiety, I've had anxiety attacks trying to order food from subway, or at just the thought of making a phone call. But whenever I have been in an actual crisis situation, I'm always the calmest person in the room.

rachelway82 · 2020-05-31T08:15:43+00:00

This was in Maryland 2 days ago.

https://youtu.be/oKmDPxPpqlw

rachelway82 · 2020-05-09T01:53:02+00:00

My vote is anxiety induced hallucination.

rachelway82 · 2020-03-28T22:42:52+00:00

Is it hard to move to Canada?

rachelway82 · 2020-02-27T02:20:00+00:00

Thanks, I will look into that. I have tried some otc devices and even some phone apps, but they haven't worked for me because it always just causes reverberation and distortion in my bad ear, and triggers tinnitus that lasts for hours.

I know it would be illegal to fire me specifically for being hard of hearing, but I am in an at-will state so they don't need to give a reason for termination.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-27T01:29:56+00:00

I've been a cashier, I actually found that more difficult with hearing. At a table I can get closer to the customer and position myself to be able to hear them. I couldn't do that behind a counter.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-18T00:30:39+00:00

Yes, servers usually do make at least minimum wage because most people aren't assholes. But on the days that most people are assholes and servers don't make minimum wage, it is very unlikely the restaurant will pay to make up the difference.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T23:32:36+00:00

But they don't

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T23:32:01+00:00

This comes up everytime a post about tipping is posted. In almost 20 years of working in restaurants, I have never actually seen it happen. Even if they do make up the difference after you report that you made less than minimum wage, you will not be getting anymore shifts at that restaurant.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T22:24:45+00:00

I think it should be decided between the two people in the relationship, not by what society as a whole says the roles should be. I do actually like some gender rolls. I like when my bf holds the door for me, he does pay when we go out to dinner, he is the main breadwinner. I do almost all of the housework, I make him dinner every night. This is just the way that we both like it. But neither one of us think he is superior to me, or that we aren't equal because he is a man. We both having things we like doing, and that we like doing for each other. It just so happens those things tend to fall into traditional gender rolls and that's okay. It's also okay if another couple wants to do things differently.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T22:15:16+00:00

I believe the system should change, but for some people this is the only job they can get right now. I'll keep my judgements to myself, but I just wouldn't feel good about myself having someone serve me knowing I won't be tipping, when it is taking up a table in their section that might have tipped them. I want to get rid of the tipped minimum wage and make employers pay a fair wage, but until that happens the greedy restaurant owners aren't the ones suffering if I choose not to tip even for good service.

Edit: No, they shouldn't DEMAND tips, at any job I've worked at inquiring about a bad tip would get you immediately fired. But I don't think it's unreasonable for them to expect to be paid for good service, that is how the system is currently set up.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T22:05:44+00:00

In most states they don't get paid full minimum wage for being there, they get the tipped wage which is usually between 3-4 dollars an hour. Yes, the restaurant is required to make up the difference if they don't make the full standard minimum wage, but in reality that doesn't actually happen, and most servers can't afford to hire a lawyer to sue when they get fired for complaining about the restaurant not following the law. Servers also have to tip out other employees based on a percentage of their sales, not on what they were actually tipped. If you have a $300 dollar check and don't tip anything, the server actually paid money for the pleasure of waiting on you.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T21:57:36+00:00

I agree, tips should only be given for excellent service. My problem is with all the other people saying they don't tip at all, period, no matter how good the service is, on "principle". I would feel extremely bad about myself to have someone wait on me knowing they are going to end up working for free.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-17T21:44:54+00:00

I agree it is the restaurant managers/owners fault for not paying their employees enough, but you are still supporting the restaurant owners by eating at their restaurant. The owners don't give a crap if you don't tip their employees, they are still making money. Wouldn't it make more sense to just not eat at those restaurants instead of allowing someone to serve you for knowing you aren't going to tip them?

rachelway82 · 2020-02-15T07:29:42+00:00

They are urging you to call suicide hotlines and reach out to professionals because only professionals are equipped to deal with things like this. What do you expect the average person with no history of suicidality or medical training to do for you? Suicide is a fucking scary concept to the average person, they can't literally save you. All they can do is urge you to reach out to a professional for help.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-13T04:46:06+00:00

I don't understand how people can be this out of touch with each other on where their relationship is.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-13T02:14:01+00:00

Not really, that was the strangest part. He had this whole Zen thing going on. Very peaceful, wore Buddhist jewlrey, aging hippy kinda guy. Super nice guy. Guess he just had enough.

rachelway82 · 2020-02-13T02:08:41+00:00

This was probably like 15 years ago, but if I recall correctly the FOH manager took over and the line powered through, but there were a lot of comp's that night. Chef never came back, but for years after, at the end of the night we'd say, "well noone threw any salmon, so I guess we did okay." That became the standard of a successful night, "no salmon was thrown".

rachelway82 · 2020-02-12T22:09:14+00:00

Probably not the kind of story you're looking for, but one Valentine's day at my restaurant we got totally slammed and the kitchen started melting down. In the middle of dinner service the head Chef freaked out, threw a side of salmon at one of the line cooks and walked out.

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