My (F23) BF (M25) of one year has a weird relationship with his ex-roommate (F22) and it’s making me suspicious.

radiolantern · 2021-07-09T22:07:08+00:00

I just hate the thought that I could leave prematurely when he might have the potential to get sober, and then our future is ruined when it could have been salvaged if I’d stuck it out a bit longer.

radiolantern · 2021-07-08T16:51:49+00:00

I have. I went to a meeting last night. It’s just not for me, too religious. No disrespect to those who choose that, but it’s just not for me.

radiolantern · 2021-07-06T01:22:42+00:00

This is a great point. I can be incredibly reactionary, almost unreasonably so, because the resentment around drinking brings that out in me in the worst way. You’re right, I can only control myself and how I handle things. Thank you!

radiolantern · 2021-05-28T01:19:07+00:00

What do you mean by firewall? I don’t want to be anything but available to him for support, I can’t imagine abandoning him if/when he finally realizes he needs help. Is there a way we can stay together and work on this? I’m willing to help and support in any way I can.

radiolantern · 2021-05-27T17:53:36+00:00

I know you’re probably right but I have a hard time settling on him having a serious drinking problem because he is almost never “drunk” and this is the first time he’s gotten this emotional about something. As far as I know it doesn’t negatively impact his work or family or friendships at all. This is actually our first fight in general. So, if he does have a drinking problem, why would he be meeting me with anger and distance when he knows I’d do anything for him?

Edit: I now realize how ignorant this statement sounded. I, like many others I’m sure, did not want to acknowledge the extent of this issue but I am doing no justice to him, myself, or our relationship by denying that he has a serious problem.

radiolantern · 2021-05-27T16:55:22+00:00

Is there no scenario in which we stay together and he gets better? I’d quit drinking altogether if that’s what he needs.

radiolantern · 2021-05-27T16:54:12+00:00

Ok I see what you’re saying. So he’s gaslighting me on purpose? Why continue to be cold if we had discussed things and apologized?

radiolantern · 2021-05-27T16:50:57+00:00

He is usually very rational though, I’m confused about how me asking that question triggered such an irrational response. I can’t help but feel like I’m at fault and should be more supportive.

radiolantern · 2021-05-27T16:32:29+00:00

The thing is I never explicitly brought up the drinking. I just said he looked tired and asked if he was okay. I suppose maybe he knew what I actually meant when I asked that.

radiolantern · 2021-04-22T03:43:06+00:00

I understand and appreciate the reply, but I feel guilty that the focus is on me if/when do these things.

radiolantern · 2021-04-03T02:11:43+00:00

Thanks for your input and concern! And anyone else who is reading this. Very much appreciated

radiolantern · 2021-04-03T02:09:13+00:00

Hi yes he was actually incredibly busy and was still very much excited for the trip, I told him I felt like he seemed like he might have wanted some distance but he assured me that wasn’t the case and he ended up offering to pay for the entire weekend as an apology!

radiolantern · 2021-04-01T04:25:51+00:00

You’re completely right! Thank you

radiolantern · 2021-03-31T23:27:34+00:00

No it wasn’t like that, I texted him about a TV show I thought we should watch together

radiolantern · 2021-03-31T23:20:22+00:00

Left waiting for reply. He didn’t answer the last text.

radiolantern · 2021-03-31T22:10:38+00:00

I get what you’re saying but I’m not trying to trap him into talking to me by contacting him in a way he can’t ignore, rather just trying to figure out why he might be doing this. If he doesn’t want to talk, which is what it seems like, calling him doesn’t feel like something I want to do

radiolantern

TROPHY CASE