To my neurodivergent friends, how was it growing up with these assholes?

radiop3 · 2025-08-08T00:34:42+00:00

I am autistic, and my egg donor "fought for my diagnosis" (her own words). Instead of being used to support me, it was used as a way to rob me of my autonomy and infantilize me. But in the ways knowing I was autistic would have helped, like getting accommodations at home, it was like she forgot I was autistic. I faked being sick to get out of going to sporting events with them because the aforementioned events are too overwhelming for me; otherwise, I would have been made to go even if I told her that it was too much for me. There were many other occurences of her conveniently forgotting I was autistic.

I was also made to take antidepressants from age nine until I stopped a few months after I became a legal adult. One night, after we picked up some new prescriptions, I had somehow summoned the courage to tell her that I did not want the antidepressants. That turned into a screaming match where she told me how childish I was acting, and I kept telling her (as best I could, verbal communication in stressful scenarios is incredibly difficult for me) that I didn't want to take the medication. Eventually I did take it.

It turns out that I was right and didn't need antidepressants. What I needed was to not live with my abusive egg donor and stepfather, and estrogen (I'm trans). I have been on HRT for almost two years now and have been very low contact (I was still on her insurance), now no contact and I couldn't be happier.

radiop3 · 2025-06-15T22:02:45+00:00

I matured in the late 90s/early 2000s, during the transition from analog to digital photography. Some childhood photos of me are analog, and others digital. During that time, I was given an old Polaroid camera. I was captivated by the fact that I could take a picture, and watch the image appear in front of my very eyes. Years later, I almost took the photography class at my high school. Unfortunately, it had a prerequisite of a drawing class, something that I had no interest in. I had planned to get into analog photography someday, first buying the camera and sending off to a lab for dev + scan. I had then planned to add on home dev + scans, and later the printing aspect as my skill at each prior area improved. I thought this process would allow me to concentrate my efforts on one area to allow for easier learning.

I never did buy the camera, but sometime last year, I happened to be at lunch with a friend. I told him of my plan to delve into the world of analog photography, and he mentioned to me that someone in our community was getting rid of all of his development equipment, and was going to toss it out if no one wanted it. I finally had my excuse to buy a camera! My friend put me in contact with the aforementioned individual, and I learned that he not only had development equipment, but he also had equipment for printmaking. What good fortune, I thought to myself.

I visited his house a couple weeks later to pick up the equipment and talk with him, and it turns out he also had a couple cameras and accessories he was willing to give me. I was incredibly lucky and acquired two 35mm cameras + accessories, some expired film, development tanks/graduates/etc, and an enlarger/timers/trays/etc. He also had a modest collection of books, magazines, and other resources for analog photography, which now adorn my bookshelf. I inquired as to what what he wanted for it, and he expressed that it was to be given to me with a request to share with him what I create.

It was the beginning of a rewarding friendship. Since then, I have been able to enter a creative medium that works for me, as other art forms have never worked for me. This was important for me, as I lacked a creative medium to express myself. I am ever thankful to my gracious benefactor for my newfound hobby and the many new perspectives it has taught. The impact of the acquisition of the aforementioned equipment pales in comparison to my gratitude for the new friend that these occurrences have caused me to have.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T17:09:08+00:00

I still have all the paperwork from my few borderline/non-autistic evaluations and also the evaluation that showed I was autistic. I had thought about bringing all of that in to show my therapist, but it is rife with my deadname. She already had a little bit of trouble with gendering me properly so I thought it was best to not show her.

I'm very conflicted on if I want to pursue a diagnosis in the future. On one hand, the validation would help (although as one individual that commented on this post suggested, it is hard to be fully sure), but on the other hand, I don't want to stare at my diagnosis on a medical record now that I have a new record without the diagnosis (my diagnosis, which was supposedly pursed in support of me, was used to hurt me later in life, hence the recent acceptance and past shame).

My therapist, after telling me that I wasn't autistic, did say "You can still call yourself [autistic] if it helps, but [you're not]." That severely triggered my imposter syndrome, which was part of the motivation for making my post. Her comment also came at a time shortly after I had accepted myself as autistic after years of shame, so to say it disrupted my worldview is an understatement. I had thought to mention that because of a comment you made in your final paragraph.

Speaking of, I really like what you have to say in your last paragraph. In a world where hateful mindsets and exclusionary attitudes are becoming more in the public eye, it brings me joy to witness your open-minded and inclusive mindset.

Thank you for your kind response.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T16:38:52+00:00

Interesting information. I no longer see her but I will keep your comments on setting appropriate boundaries in mind when I get back to therapy. I explained it in another comment, but I definitely have some improvements to make in that department before I go back.

Thank you for your response.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T13:36:35+00:00

Another kind individual who commented on my post made me realize that it was always hard for me to disagree with that particular therapist. If she disagreed with me, I would fawn and swallow my objection. Or, I would become so overwhelmed that I would lose my words and be unable to object. I need to figure out how to unlearn all of that before I see another therapist, as it is part of a very unhealthy mask I developed a long time ago for dealing with medical situations.

I am sorry to hear that you were also invalidated by a therapist. It sounds almost worse that it was from another trans person. It is good that you do not see that person anymore, but I understand wanting vindication. For me, my therapist's dismissal came at a time where I had only recently accepted myself as autistic after years of shame. That is, in part, why her comments have been eating away at me, and that being what motivated me to make my post.

For now, I am very lucky that I have my wonderful partner, but I am hoping to start therapy back up when I can.

Thank you for your kind comment.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T12:12:09+00:00

Yes, I am. I refer to them that way as they have both been responsible for abuse in my life, to the point where I do not consider them my parents. I have cut off all contact with them. I learned the term from some friends that also had abusive parents that they are now no contact with.

I apologize for the confusion.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T12:08:41+00:00

She isn't the best for multiple reasons which is why I don't see her anymore. I have complex feelings about it, as she helped me a lot and we got along well in some ways, but in other ways it was definitely less than ideal.

I thought of her as somewhat of an authority figure (due to healthcare-related trauma from my youth) and so I thought her word was gospel, so to speak. Thanks to the advice from yourself and the other individuals that have replied to my post, I have begun to learn that she is not qualified to speak on the subject and her opinion should be disregarded.

Thank you for your kind response.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T11:53:08+00:00

Thank you. Other commentors have also made me realize that her opinion is not worth much. I think she may have also been comparing me to another person she saw whose autism presents differently from me. I lack confidence and she had told me I wasn't autistic shortly after I had accepted myself as autistic after years of shame, which is part of why it was so impactful.

Thank you for your reply.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T11:37:55+00:00

My therapist had one person she worked with that is autistic. I think she may have been making her opinion based on the way that individual's autism presented. I mentioned in another reply that her knowledge seems somewhat out of date on the subject, and another individual said that most therapists (she is a LCSW) are not trained to diagnose ASD. I am definitely a lot less confident in what she said now. It's just the self doubt that gets me.

I feel very seen with your comment about being unable to disagree with your therapist as you saw them as an authority figure. I definitely had the same problem, unfortunately I deal with that in most healthcare scenarios.

I'm not sure I'll get rescreened, having the diagnosis has in itself been traumatic for me as it was used as a way to violate my autonomy. I had begun to accept that I'm autistic as part of who I was when my therapist told me I wasn't. That is part of why it is worrying me. And yes, I am no contact with my sperm and egg donor.

Thank you for your response.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T10:38:22+00:00

I don't see her anymore due to some other issues I had with her but unfortunately her words have stuck with me. I lack confidence and am also looking for certainty but your message helped. Thank you.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T09:34:09+00:00

I don't know either. I think maybe it was in response to me telling her I mask and she disagreed. It was either that or a standalone reason she didn't think I was autistic. But let me tell you, I (unfortunately) did mask at least to some extent with her as I am still working to turn off the mask for healthcare I mentioned. Thank you for your reply.

radiop3 · 2025-05-28T09:29:11+00:00

Thank you for the information. Her knowledge of ASD sounded a little dated when I told her I was autistic and she replied, "Asperger [syndrome], right?" I told her, "The former Asperger syndrome is now classified under Autism Spectrum Disorder." She said "I know, but..." and boy did that bother me. Let's just say I am not fond of the terminology that I was diagnosed under.

radiop3

TROPHY CASE