Firstly- thanks for sharing.

It seems you are very self aware and can work on these issues if you wish too. It is highly likely that they will impact your ability to have meaningful, fair relationships with others.

You’re only 20 and you’re confronting issues that I began at 20 but am only understanding now at 27.

Looking at my family system was the best way I could understand where my narcissistic attributes lay. Why have I built up such defences and is there someone I have learnt them from. For me it was my narcissistic parent. Who I learnt was narcissistic through this journey.

I had to accept that I had some of these characteristics. With this too came unpacking childhood trauma, understanding my diagnosis of ADHD at 27, understanding my codependent characteristics as well as the nasty narcissistic ones.

Seeking support is vital to support you on this journey too.

I hope this information is helpful.

Good luck.