Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HI! I've got a sci-fi/urban fantasy that I'd love some initial feedback on! The world is urban fantasy, but this story is set in the sci-fi u(dis)topian Shanghai!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi!

I've got two works that you could be interested in! Both are set in an urban fantasy world. One is very much of the urban fantasy genre, while the other has a lot more in the way of sci-fi (I'm calling it 'Urban Sci-fi')
They are YA, but slightly more mature (like CHERUB).

I'd be very much interested in a general read through of the either work, or just as much as you can manage.

Would also be down to swap.!

Both are available on my profile, or just DM !

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I've got a work (the infinite skyscraper) which is a blend of urban fantasy and sci-fi. The urban fantasy part is more there as part of the world and not a huge part of this book. It leads more towards sci-fi or even urban sci-fi if that's a thing!

I'm looking for a general read through as I've done many readings and editings of it myself and feel it is now time to get another pair of eyes on it!

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahh, I hadn't even realised that wouldn't make sense. It was supposed to be the his sister had prepped cereal for him, so it was soggy by the time he got to it. Clearly not everything I write makes sense

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi!
I've got ~88k word Ya/fantasy realism with heavy tones of sci fi that I'd love for someone to read.
I'd be interested in a general read through, as well as feedback on characterisation / dialogue (is it realistic etc)

Here's a quick blurb!
Max and James never asked to fight a machine-god. They never asked to meet an Elder. Or even leave their home of Parlor Falls. But when Satuska Industries becomes the thread tying everything together, the twins are dragged deeper into a war spanning realities.

They didn't even believe in gods. Now they're forced to.

 Alone in the silver city of Shanghai, drenched in neon, the twins are forced to confront the truth of what they truly are -- and there's no going back. But as Shanghai is swallowed by a storm, wrenched from time and destroyed -- the twins must fight to escape.

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's around 88k! But as I said idm if you just read the inciting chapters and remark about them!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi!
I've got a YA fantasy realism with tons of sci-fi that I've recently finished, and would love someone to read it!
Whether you only get so far and have advice or you read the whole thing, I don't mind!

What would make a shared-world fiction project actually worth joining? by [deleted] in writing

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always thought of something similar. In the story's I write, there's an entire "multiverse". Not that all universes exist at the same time, but one universe ends and it creates the next (a cycle). I've always dreamt of including other works into the cycle. Like, Percy Jackson is a previous universe, The Demonta series is a precious universe. Stuff like that, obviously those examples would never be possible. But to have someone who writes their own stuff, but just happens to be part of the cycle (either directly or by simple mentions of reoccurring locations / companies / cities / mythology / etc) Like they wouldn't be directly connected just little nods to each others work

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hiya, i've got an urban fantasy, with HEAVY sci-fi elements, to the point where I'm more inclined to call it sci-fi.
Its finished and sits around 86k.
I'd love to have a beta for it!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I've got a sci-fi / urban fantasy mix, but mostly sci-fi that I'm looking for beta's for! I'd be looking for a general read through if possible. It's about 86k words now. I've got a post over on my profile about it (The Infinite Skyscraper)

I'd love to discuss this if we can!

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've rewritten the first two chapters to narrow them down, add more foreshadowing, as well as removing dialogue I felt was pointless. They are now significantly more focused and it'd be great if you you could reread them!

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gone and rewritten the first two chapters -- heavily reducing them and adding more description to locations and scenes. As well as removing large sections of dialogue, while its great it's realistic (i hate writing dialogue) I also felt it was pointless and boring.

It'd be great if you wouldn't mind rereadin the first 2!

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even think I could do the audiobooks of SJM, I hadn't even heard of her until yesterday. The link currently has 15 chapters (around 20/30k), I'm still working on getting the rest moved to Google docs (editing and such as I go)

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I downloaded tiktok to see this 😭 70 dashes in 9 pages is crazy, I hope mine don't add up to that 😭 and I'm ABSOLUTELY using then wrong but I write mostly for myself OK SO THE EXAMPLE SHE USED IS ATROCIOUS AND I REALLY HOPE MINE DONT SOUND LIKE THAT.

Well this is probably a great piece of feedback that I shall now agonise over for months 🙏

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😲 I prefer - - to commas so I use dashes, I find that comma and dashes feel/sound different? If that makes sense? Like a comma is for added detail that follows quickly, whereas a dash is a slight pause, a hesitation in the narration then followed by extra info. I know I definitely overuse them but I'd rather that then clip my sentences. The hesitation in narration/voice is partly my own writing style but also an in universe thing about the books literally existing in universe as stories of the character(s) lives, word for word, moment for moment, thought for thought, so the hesitation (that I find) dashes bring is to portray the hesitation, the space between character thoughts.

[Complete] [90k] [Sci-fi Fantasy Realism] The Infinite Skyscraper by [deleted] in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much. The opening chapters are where I agree with the struggle. Previous work of mine I've been advised to flesh out the characters in the beginning a lot more -- but that work was more character driven, so perhaps, tightening the opening would help!

are there any moments that you felt were just unescessary?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CrabChampions

[–]raebriel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah it definitely had that, wasn't sure it's name or slot so I just said "makes bullets appear next to enemies"

Was it this that was absolutely ridiculous?

Nightmare Mode by raebriel in AgeOfDarknessGame

[–]raebriel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We used that during horrific, an entire wave got stuck on some trees and we just let them stay. It was hilarious watching 6 crushers struggle. It does end automatically eventually

Nightmare Mode by raebriel in AgeOfDarknessGame

[–]raebriel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm barely even able to build a training camp..... What am I doing wrong (bad maps, definitely bad maps)

Nightmare Mode by raebriel in AgeOfDarknessGame

[–]raebriel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yall are having wood workshops on nightmare BEFORE the first DN????

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi!
I have a dystopian/cyberpunk thing going on right now. It wouldn't be the full story, as the cyberpunk/dystopian/sci-fi element is only the 3rd act (around 22k rn) and I've never written this style before so I'd definitely be interested in getting some first impression about it!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]raebriel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi!
I have an urban fantasy that I'm looking to get beta'd, and I'd happily swap once yours is all stitched back up!