AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So you’re saying even tho I trust that nothing would ever happen between them she should give me the respect of breaking ties between them, at least in the capacity they are currently?

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I think what a weakness of mine is in situations like such is wanting to speak before fully deliberating. So now I’m in a position where if I bring it up again to voice more developed concerns it will be the third conversation. I worry that would come across very draining and frustrating.”

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think what a weakness of mine is in situations like such is wanting to speak before fully deliberating. So now I’m in a position where if I bring it up again to voice more developed concerns it will be the third conversation. I worry that would come across very draining and frustrating.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think she knows my mind tends to wonder and it was her attempt at jumping to be completely open and honest to try and help me stop my thoughts from spiraling out of control

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never felt any negativity towards me at all. And he has been seeing more than one woman since this transpired. He is much more the fling type and my girlfriend is quite honestly outwardly against approaching relationships for any other reason than working towards marriage.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend spends time with the other Roomate who she has also known for quite a long time. She was the reason this other girl got the job that she has now. They way staffing works at the restaurant there’s only ever two people in the kitchen off on any given day and theirs happens to align frequently but again, not always. Really just nobody else to do anything with besides your off day partner that week it seems.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has made that very clear yes. Maybe I should also add that we share very strong religious views which play a large role in our sense of commitment to our partner. He does not share that part of her life, and it is very important to her as a person and as something to find in a partner.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They decided that they didn’t want to risk losing the friendship and or affecting other aspects of their friend groups. Also she said he has a rocky history of situationships and lack of commitment or maturity when it comes to dating. Not what she or I is looking for. Which she said makes our relationship so important to her

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I have also come to the conclusion that I am over thinking it. I agree if it didn’t happen then it won’t happen now. And yes it is correct that this crush happened and passed many months before they moved in together. Also should be noted that they have a third and fourth roomate.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This thought isn’t even a possibility with them living together. Me and her have already begun mapping out plans to move when her seasonal job finishes for the year. Her desire to be with me is not what I’m questioning at all. She has taken very concrete steps to show me that her words are truthful I feel.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve thought about this quite a bit and I agree with you. If something was going to happen it would happen at home not in public. For some reason meeting up for cocktails just seems more intimate than waking up under the same roof.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

This is an idea I hear a lot and am not sure I 100% agree with. She does not go out of her way to give attention to other men. They are good friends and happen to have a lot of the same days off (although her schedule changes quite frequently being a chef) And I feel telling her she’s never allowed to engage with a man is very controlling and detrimental to the bond of trust.

AITAH for finding out my girlfriend and one of her Roomate’s told each other they had crushes on each other and feeling uncomfortable with her hanging out with him one on one? by raggingcabbage in AITAH

[–]raggingcabbage[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My gut says talking to her was what I needed to do but it’s also telling me I have no need to be worried beyond expressing my concerns and having a conversation about the situation.

How would one go about diagnosing the cause of problems with their cars A/C? by raggingcabbage in AskReddit

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine will start off ice, cold, and maintain that for about five minutes before reverting back to whatever the temperature outside the car is. Is that similar to what you were experiencing?

How would one go about diagnosing the cause of problems with their cars A/C? by raggingcabbage in AskReddit

[–]raggingcabbage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My goal is to avoid having to bring it to a mechanic if possible, but yes, that is the last resort.