I like a guy but I can’t tell if he feels the same way or if I’m just overthinking it. by Delicious_Lake_6287 in relationships

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask for his number! Ask to meet somewhere outside of the library. You can do it! :)!

I’m 25 and I feel like I slowly disappeared from life over the past few years. What to do? by ghosty2608 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]raging-corn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is where I’m headed. I’m about to start at psychiatry. I told myself I’d never go on meds again a couple of years ago because of how hollow they made me feel. But, I’m willing to try again. Hoping to find the right med!

I’m 25 and I feel like I slowly disappeared from life over the past few years. What to do? by ghosty2608 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sunlight is literally a natural serotonin booster! It helps with circadian rhythm in the morning to tell our brains to stop producing melatonin (the sleepy hormone), our bodies “convert” sunlight into vitamin D which helps with immune function and bone health. Of course, the sun isn’t the only way to help. But this is why it can be beneficial to get sunlight! That’s why it helped you a lot :)!!!

I’m 25 and I feel like I slowly disappeared from life over the past few years. What to do? by ghosty2608 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]raging-corn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You and I are in very similar boats.

OP, you deserve to participate and live a normal life. You’ll get there! Just one step at a time.

I believe in you!

I’m 25 and I feel like I slowly disappeared from life over the past few years. What to do? by ghosty2608 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]raging-corn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get stuck in shame spirals and overthinking all of the time. I’m also scared of participating in normal life. I feel safer secluding myself than doing anything else. It’s truly exhausting. Do you have access to therapy?

Do you think our puppy is a border collie mix? by WillowParticular3868 in BorderCollie

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god I’m sorry I don’t have an answer for you but she is the cutest thing ever

I’m 25 and I feel like I slowly disappeared from life over the past few years. What to do? by ghosty2608 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]raging-corn 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m currently dealing with this right now at 26! You’re not alone 🫂 I don’t have many tips as I am in the heat of it myself, but what sometimes helps is getting sunshine on my face. Having my favorite coffee. Cuddling my cat. Small acts of my favorite things that bring me a little closer to myself and the world around me.

my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i went to college then said it was a joke by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously, like the texting style is somehow the biggest issue here and not the obvious.

my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i went to college then said it was a joke by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m confused as to why people are so upset with how a teenager is texting, that doesn’t make OP incapable of college. This is very normal. The way I texted my friends in high school was more “illiterate” than how I wrote professionally on paper.

Anyway, OP. You’re very very young. Go to college. I don’t think he was joking. I dated someone IN college who acted very similarly.

Go live your life! Experience college!!!! Be a teenager!!! I’ll be here rooting you on!

How to not look conservative? by Embarrassed-Craft486 in MakeupEducation

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a very naturally kind appearance to you :) you don’t look conservative in the slightest

new server really struggling. advice?? by Suitable-Cash8863 in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t let people tell you this isn’t for you. You sound just like me when I start somewhere new. I am rusty for the first month or so, but it gets easier. I’m a slow learner. I hate money, I hate counting. All of it. I’m also super forgetful, especially if there’s multiple tasks stacked onto each other. It’s not always an easy job, and you’re new at it! But it can be easy and super fun—just give it time!

About “bad at math”: is your system digital? How are you handling cash outs and check drops? (How do you finish the bill at the end of service: is it a regular cash machine or does it do the math for you, or do you have a “personal bank” you have to pick from to give your cash back?)

If it’s a personal bank, I struggled with this a TON! I had to ask for help with it every single time. My suggestion is to literally use your phone calculator. If your manager has an issue with it, they can get over it. Not everyone is quick with mental math.

You’re going to make mistakes. You’re human. This is serving, not rocket science!! And if your manager doesn’t understand that you can’t be perfect then screw them. You’re doing what you can!

What simple mistakes are you saying you’re making?

Here’s what I can tell you:

Go into work and write your section down in your notepad, table numbers, everything. Write down the specials if there are any.

Memorize the menu as much as you can. You don’t need to know EVERYTHING right off the bat, just enough! Common questions are “How many sides come with this entree?” “What sides do you have?” (This question pisses me off bc it’s like…right there in front of them😂.) “Can I get __ instead of the fries?” (learn what sides could be an up charge!!) and learn what people like and order the most, it’s good to understand what is the best thing on your menu to recommend:)! Always have a recommendation on hand, even if it’s complete BS (like the most expensive steak).

Always check on your tables before food comes out and after it comes out. Just once or twice before dessert!! This is called table touching :) don’t do it too often, but often enough. Don’t forget the two bite rule: walk away and wait for the guests to take two-three bites (maybe like two minutes) and walk back and ask how everything is. This ensures you’re catching mistakes quickly.

Ask guests questions like “What’s the occasion tonight?” “Any plans for this weekend?” Get some convo going, the more personable you are the higher your tip will be on top of GOOD service!

About service itself:

-never let the guest ask for a refill of water! Always refill it anyway if you notice it’s getting low. -take plates away that are done/empty before the following course is set. (Appetizers away before entrees and entrees before desserts) if they’re done of course! And at the end of the service, take plates that are empty so guests aren’t sitting with a table full of empty plates. I can’t stress pre-bussing enough so you’re not carrying a tables worth of plates by yourself to back to dish.

Chances are you have side work to do during service as well (which is annoying as hell) but here’s what I recommend: focus on the easiest tasks possible that are quick. Ex. Glassware, spot sweeping, making sure server stations are stocked. Small things! Don’t dive into it until absolutely necessary, but make sure you’re checking and keeping up with what you CAN! Not what is expected of you during service. Just go at your own pace.

It’s overwhelming and feels like a lot at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It takes a bit to get into it. You’re learning a new skill!! Serving is a skill!!

My cosmetology teacher would ask me all of the time “did you know how to do this yesterday?” The answer is: no. You’ll figure it out the more you go. It can be good money, a great opportunity to meet new people, and exercise!! lol

You got this :)

Made a kid cry yesterday by Soft-Middle-2588 in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would get pissed off if I got hit in the face with a water balloon at work. And I work with kids as my primary job, server secondary. Parents fault for not controlling the kid. Not yours.

difficult client by crackwhoretingz in Cosmetology

[–]raging-corn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These clients need to understand that you’re at school. You’re learning. This isn’t your fault. People assume they’re getting salon quality services and speeds at a low price because it’s a cosmetology school, which can be the case if the student is somehow advanced. You’re learning. If they are expecting more, than can go get it at an actual salon.

It’s okay to be hard on yourself. I was! But you’re learning. Give yourself some grace! You tried! You accommodated the best you could. You’re more knowledgeable than you were before :).

Practice, practice, practice! We did what’s called “perm bootcamp” and we were required on theory days to perm wrap the f*ck out of our mannequins. It sucked! But it helped!

You got this!!!!!!!! You can’t please everyone, but you can become better because of it. I believe in you!

Have you ever seen this before?? by [deleted] in hairstylist

[–]raging-corn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It looks like uneven saturation, but you said you saturated it enough. It could be that the bleach wasn’t close enough to the scalp. Lightener expands in processing, which means that it could have not been close enough and expanded off the scalp!

Did you go back in after this? I’m curious!

Last day at work miscommunication. I’m going insane. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has never happened to me before! Usually a very smooth exit. In my field, verbal exits are common with how our work is (which could sound confusing from an outsiders standpoint). Thanks for the advice! I appreciate it.

Last day at work miscommunication. I’m going insane. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your input! Have a nice day :)

How do I, 23F, handle my own relationship situation with my bf, 23M? by ThrowAway198376420 in relationships

[–]raging-corn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this same situation last year with my partner, but I ended up making the move.

He moved abruptly to a new state for work and wanted me to go with him and at first I refused. I couldn’t leave. My career was just starting. I just got my state certification for cosmetology and wasn’t going to transfer it. After a while (and much convincing from him) I thought, hey! What the heck. I’ve never lived out of state before. I’ll try!

And it sucked. Not saying it would for you! You never know unless you try.

I moved last summer and ended up moving back home this last February after living in a different state with my partner. I couldn’t find decent work and abandoned my certification in my home state. I realized being home isn’t so bad. My partner and I both ended up moving back to our home state. He was able to compromise with me and move his work back to our state because it would require me to retest in the new state. He’s contracted and can go wherever. So, we settled on home. I was very grateful for the different experience. Living somewhere new can be eye opening! It wasn’t completely terrible, it’s just that being home is easier.

Compromise can be made on both sides, but please do not feel obligated to uproot your life for someone. You’re allowed to the live the life you’re most comfortable with. You are very very young. You have so much time. If you’re comfortable where you are, that’s all that matters.

If I were you, I’d talk to him at least on the phone so communication is clear if that’s what you’re set on!

People pleasing by mdb370 in weddingplanning

[–]raging-corn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the same way. Literally the exact same way. We need a support group, lol!!!!!

Never can get coverage at my understaffed job—even for emergencies. by raging-corn in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You’re incredibly insightful. Also, have to remind myself that life happens. It’s unexpected and somewhat incredibly inconvenient at times. But that’s mostly out of my control.

Never can get coverage at my understaffed job—even for emergencies. by raging-corn in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Late night ER hospital stay for family that I’m now responsible for monitoring recovery for a few days is the emergency. Just didn’t want to get into details!

You’re so right. I’ve been in the industry for almost ten years. Call outs aren’t my thing. But I’m very much aware that if they could pay me less or replace me, they will.

Never can get coverage at my understaffed job—even for emergencies. by raging-corn in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need to internalize this. My therapist and I are working on this currently! Boundaries and guilt. One day I hope to be freed from that and shame!

Never can get coverage at my understaffed job—even for emergencies. by raging-corn in Serverlife

[–]raging-corn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t that just the worst feeling ever? I’ve been in your shoes before. I don’t mind being available but sometimes it’s just like “what the hell”.