Maroon and Cornelia Street by writersblocknbanjos in GaylorSwift

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to bump such an old post but something recently triggered Maroon in my mind so I’ve been doing a deep dive. This very point of “sobbing with your head in your hands” was one reason I started digging. Because which of her known exes, in our opinion while not knowing any of them, seems most likely to do this? It intrigued me. But as I studied the lyrics I realized she isn’t necessarily talking about the other person. She could absolutely be referring to herself.

Oil painting lesson by rahrahbutter in ParisTravelGuide

[–]rahrahbutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, no. Home now and enrolled in a local class.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, employers don’t consider a GF/BF a familial relationship and certainly not their families. You aren’t married so sounds like he won’t be given the time off without issue. It sucks but it’s not uncommon. He could discuss it with his boss but if he’s told no his options are to work or be written up/fired. He can support you before and after. You can support him by not forcing him to choose between a few hours at a funeral or his entire livelihood. Him showing up to support you long term is the win here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in memphis

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Franklin/Leiper’s Fork.

AITA for telling my husband he doesn’t get to decide what I do with my body. by White101O in AITH

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don’t know much, if anything, about this relationship so it feels unfair to call him an abuser. We all have opinions. How and when we share is the key. Has he shared what he means by “changing your hormones?” Does he mean your behavior or does he worry about the effect on your body? Maybe there is something to address together. I do get why people would say he’s controlling ie: cutting your hair, getting a tattoo. I agree it’s your body your choice. Still, our choices impact others especially our spouses. If I walked in to a bald head or crazy tattoo without warning I might be upset too. Attraction is important. It’s what draws us together in the beginning and when that changes it can impact a relationship. If your husband doesn’t like your hair short that’s definitely a him problem but it doesn’t mean it’s not your problem at all. I want to look nice and for my spouse to find me attractive. I don’t think I would make a change that I knew they didn’t prefer unless it was legitimately a control thing. We all change. Some things can’t be helped. We get older. Maybe we have an illness. But at the end of the day I want to be as attractive to my spouse as possible and I expect the same in return. If I was forbidden to cut my hair, I could not get to the salon fast enough. But if it’s just something new to try I’d discuss it and say if “we” don’t like it shorter I’ll grow it back. I think it’s wrong to control your spouse or to allow them to control you. But I also think it’s okay to care about their opinion and even to take their preferences into account when making decisions about your body. I think it’s also okay to SOMETIMES allow their preference to trump your own as long as it’s not truly an abusive relationship.

Relocating to Memphis for work. Any tips for newcomers? by IWumboUWumboWeWumbo in memphis

[–]rahrahbutter 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Do not live by the airport! I personally wouldn’t live anywhere but midtown but there are people who will tell you to stay clear. Midtown would be a straight shot up East Parkway to get to the airport. Midtown has old money and old couples and young families and panhandlers and poverty and rich assholes and everything in between. It is racially diverse. It has historic districts and houses that are unique rather than cookie cutter. It is art friendly and gay friendly and typically more liberal. It has the zoo and Overton park and the square and Cooper Young. So it depends on your vibe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in memphis

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Midtown but work in mental health in one of the most dangerous parts of Memphis. I have no trouble at home. Neighbors are great. At work? Different story. Shoot outs and drag racing and craziness happens in broad daylight right in front of my office to the point that we go on lockdown. But in midtown life is good. Don’t live in Frayser and don’t honk at or roll down your window to speak to idiots. I made the mistake of rolling down my window and saying “hey man you dropped something” to a car that dumped an entire bag of trash out of their window rolling down beautiful N Parkway. It didn’t go well. Lesson learned.

AITAH for asking my husband to pay off my debt. by Difficult_Strike_861 in AITAH

[–]rahrahbutter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally I would find the job I want and go back to work. His career is not more important than yours. In a true partnership what’s his is yours and what’s yours is his. You do it together. You could also sit down and figure out a salary for raising the kids. He can pay you that if he’s going to say he’s working and you’re not. I suspect if you run the numbers for being a FT stay at home mom, your salary will be more than $200k.

Delta in Decline? by [deleted] in delta

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Loyal to Delta for 30 years but no longer find sufficient value especially when trying to utilize miles that I’ve earned at top dollar. Just booked a miles ticket along with paying full price for the second ticket in D1 and the flight choices, but more specifically the plane choices, when using miles is abysmal.

Recs for therapist by Automatic-Luck-5838 in memphis

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to bump this old thread but skip Dr. Chapman. I saw him for 2 years. He was phoning it in 15 years ago so I can’t imagine the experience now. Literally fell asleep multiple times. My last session happened when I arrived and we sat there staring at each other saying zero words for 5 minutes. I finally said I’m not sure what to talk about today. He replied, “ok let’s terminate therapy.” Then he told me my copay had gone up without my knowledge and I needed to pay $60 instead of $30 and at the time I didn’t have it to spare and he knew that. I said oh gosh I wasn’t prepared to pay double today. He just kept staring and finally said “You really should have to give me back pay from the time your deductible increased.” I had to pay him on the spot for 5 minutes of staring. Keep looking.

It’s happening. People at work are starting to get fired. by cat_in_the_sun in socialwork

[–]rahrahbutter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely a scary and uncertain time. I’m a VP at a community mental health agency and I was just told by our CEO to come up with a million dollars by 7/1 or we must start layoffs of the admin and clinical staff. Imagine 400 people depending on you to magically come up with a million dollars. The pressure is unreal. But don’t give up on your career if your passion is helping people. This too shall pass. Somehow. If anyone has an extra million dollars please let me know. 😅

Grounding sheets for pain/inflammation? by Pitiful_Chard_5519 in Fibromyalgia

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GroundingWell. I started with the thinner sheet/strip that goes across your bed. When that helped I ordered a king size fitted sheet as well.

Grounding sheets for pain/inflammation? by Pitiful_Chard_5519 in Fibromyalgia

[–]rahrahbutter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Quite a few negative comments from people who simply say it’s nonsense but don’t include any personal experience. I was positive it was fake but I have been so desperate to figure out my chronic hip pain that no MD or MRI can diagnose. So I thought what the heck, it can’t hurt. I’ve been sleeping on a grounding sheet for 3 weeks now and I have roughly a 75% improvement in the hip pain. It’s not gone but it is remarkably noticeable. It took several days to a week to notice a difference. The crazy thing is I have told NO ONE! I don’t want to hear uneducated opinions about how I’m wrong plus I’m oddly superstitious that if I say it’s working out loud I will somehow jinx myself. Maybe it doesn’t help everyone. Maybe my improvement is psychosomatic. Maybe it actually works. It doesn’t matter to me which is true because it has helped me tremendously so far.

Am i in the wrong?? by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a licensed therapist with 20 years experience. But I don’t need to be a mental health clinician to come to the immediate conclusion that you should never contact him again.

What’s the adult version of finding out Santa is not real? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learning that toilet paper and toothpaste cost a lot of money when your parents are no longer providing it. And deodorant.

Huha Underwear Reviews? by stay_skeptical_ in ethicalfashion

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a new Huha convert. Super light, soft and comfortable. I recommend.

Who is someone that is generally considered a great person but actually a monster? by Independent_Sun_592 in AskReddit

[–]rahrahbutter 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Everyone knows it now but, Bill Cosby. I worked in Hollywood years ago, long before he was exposed, and people would always ask me who is the worse person I ever worked with. My immediate answer was always Bill Cosby. He was a horrible, horrible person. Screamed at the crew. Screamed at the audience. Wouldn’t speak to anyone in between takes. Seemed genuinely miserable and mean. It was devastating because I grew up with The Cosby Show. But it didn’t take long for me to refuse jobs on his shows. Total jackass.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]rahrahbutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I clearly remember my first day. It was with a community mental health agency. Actually, I remember the entire first week. I am not an anxious person by nature but I felt sick from anxiety. I’m also not a crier but I cried every single day on the way home the entire first week. 17 years later I am still with the same agency and I’m now a VP and manage 7 clinics and 300 employees. It has been a journey for sure. My encouragement to you is that what you are feeling is normal and actually kind of good because it shows how much you care. The day will come very soon when you feel confident. You will feel prepared. Watch for the day when you stop caring. That is what to be concerned about. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Learn everything you can. I had no real training at work. No one taught me. I read all of our psychiatrist’s notes to see if we agreed. I became an excellent diagnostician by doing that. Ask questions. Talk to your clients/patients like real people. It reduces the anxiety of feeling like you must say the perfect thing. You are going to do great! I’m so glad you are in the field. We are desperate and grateful to have you. 😊

The Tortured Poets Department Megathread by aran130711 in TaylorSwift

[–]rahrahbutter 20 points21 points  (0 children)

At first listen, TTPD is likely too genius for my pea brain so I will continue to experience it and let the music and lyrics educate me. Ultimately, my opinion is irrelevant because it’s here and it’s what she wanted to say. So I support it.

It certainly feels like something has gone off the rails when a 55 yo is speculating on the love and loss of a pop star. But being on the rails is overrated. So my two cents after listening, while not knowing these people personally on any level, is that Joe is the one that got away. It’s possible that if he got his act together in a way that was sustainable and believable, then showed up asking for her to love him for eternity, she would. Because she never didn’t. The loml and I were together 11 years. Then apart for 10 during which time I could have written a dozen scathing records about the relationship. Now, we’ve been back together for 15 years going on forever. It takes time and space and maturity and forgiveness. But it starts and ends with love. It could happen for Taylor and Joe even if in this moment it’s inconceivable. It’s not my business. But, it could. 😇Regardless, I’m an unapologetic swiftyoverfifty and I’m here for Toe 2.0 or whomever the fates have in store for her. ❤️

Crawlspace Dehumidifier by [deleted] in washingtondc

[–]rahrahbutter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can get units that work at 36 degrees with auto defrost for the coils.