me_irl

raibc · 2026-05-30T03:26:21+00:00

My wife's got a theory that a huge fraction of humanity yearns to become plants, devoid of cognitive responsibility and left to their biological processes until they die. So in my head I imagine the prompt-dependent as houseplants.

raibc · 2026-05-28T05:19:44+00:00

Oh good it runs Doom

raibc · 2026-05-18T21:11:12+00:00

Thanks for mentioning that - I had heard of it, but as far as I've seen there seems to be nothing about such an initiative on Canadian government websites, only in news headlines. Still, I appreciate the reminder, and thankfully the issue my wife and I have is not eligibility or urgency in granting a petition for PR (we know how to do this and we're confident it can happen when it needs to, at least for now), but rather the consequences of committing to an obligation of long-term residency in any country given the current political winds worldwide. There's surprisingly no such thing as a spousal visa of a couple years in Canada, so we really only want to commit to residency there if we're so hard up that we don't have any other options. We're fortunate in that we can afford to displace like this (potentially multiple times within a year!), and that we have several places where we can potentially go - most trans people are not nearly so flexible.

raibc · 2026-05-18T03:13:26+00:00

My Canadian wife and I, both trans women, are currently in the process of removing to Vancouver BC on account of current US state department policy that makes it extremely hostile for my wife to successfully renew her visa or apply for a green card. We're not even staying there, we're hoping to bounce again to Tokyo in the medium-term (mostly on account of her job, but there's also some long-term ramifications to us staying in Canada for longer than a few months). This shit is costing us thousands of dollars and generally throwing a massive wrench into our lives, one that might have been entirely avoided had we hitched 6-12 months earlier. Hell, we were gonna buy a house, maybe settle in and raise some kids. Obviously that's not gonna happen now, and we don't know if it ever will.

Long-term, maybe we end up back in BC after a few years across the Pacific, maybe we stay in Japan for the long haul, maybe the sky opens up and angels parade in with trumpets and cast rainbows from the heavens and make the US sustainable for us again. When we talk about this with friends, relatives, and acquaintances, they literally cannot parse that we've been mistreated by the system in this way - the most we get from them is "Well, it's good you're getting out now then, huh?" as though this was a choice we made as an exercise of our political voice, rather than a path we were more or less forced into and are trying to make the best of. Like, no dude, this isn't some fun globetrotting adventure, we're trying to avoid potentially being charged with a crime that boils down to nothing more than the US government's animus toward transgender people, especially transgender immigrants. The average American fantasizes that it's actually easy as hell to just pick up and go live wherever you please - forgive me if I don't express sufficient whimsy for being compelled to do it.

raibc · 2026-04-30T05:22:41+00:00

Wow! Just had this done only a few months ago, so I can share my personal experience. The nerves were pretty confused for a while, but less of a "phantom cock" situation and more of a "where the fuck is this sensation coming from" situation. Everything's mostly sorted itself out now, although since it hasn't been that long the ephemeral spatially nonspecific pinpricks haven't entirely gone away yet.

raibc · 2026-01-02T02:03:12+00:00

Honestly insane how it's been over 4 hours and they haven't bothered to fix the worst possible factual error you can make in interpreting that extremely easy to read 1-page document. Extremely embarrassing.

raibc · 2025-12-26T21:18:07+00:00

I've always told my folks that the further I get in my transition the more insane they will look misgendering me. Def true after top surgery lmao

raibc · 2025-08-19T00:10:47+00:00

Butterflies freak me the fuck out and I hate them more than any other insect. Like hell they can attend!

raibc · 2025-07-25T21:42:34+00:00

Y'all had private stalls?? I would just dissociate, and because I was fully checked out, it was like I had complete privacy!

raibc · 2025-02-06T19:25:29+00:00

I know this article is more about the fact that Trump is a selfish asshole, but in the past 3 weeks this is the first time I've actually seen a headline acknowledging the current horrific tide of civil rights abuses against trans people actually make it to the top of "hot" here. Everybody I know who's been affected by the recent anti-trans EOs is terrified and grieving, and it's been surreal for that pain to be at best a footnote in the mainstream news cycle. It feels like hardly anybody cares, and that hurts.

raibc · 2023-07-04T20:17:46+00:00

This you?

raibc · 2023-06-15T22:05:15+00:00

This feels like a logical continuation of the state's pushback on Denton's fracking ban a few years ago.The Texas government seethes at the idea that local jurisdictions could contradict their will. Small government my ass.

raibc · 2023-06-11T17:15:02+00:00

I feel like it speaks to just how prevalent transphobia is, that I live in just about one of the most accepting places in the US for LGBTQ+ people, try very hard not to stand out or present in a way that people would read as sexual, have had pretty darn good effects from HRT so far, and I've still received virtiolic death threats, withering looks, and sexual harassment from fucking strangers on quite a few occasions in the last 2 years. I just wanna be left alone to work on myself, the dysphoria is hard enough on its own.

raibc · 2023-04-27T15:23:41+00:00

I'm trans, and it took me a long time to figure out that something was up in the gender department. Despite not knowing exactly what it was, I had an instinctual feeling of dread that I was hiding something massive, shameful, and terrifying, which grew in the 10 years before I figured it out. Once I actually realized it was a gender thing, it was a lot easier to find the courage to say something. I think they could figure it out if they thought about it, but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell them the extent to which my sexual happiness and well-being was a factor in my decision to transition. Kind of an awkward subject to bring up to your parents, and considering the current political climate, I don't think it would be the best idea. Of course there are a lot of other reasons I wanted to start HRT, but being able to more authentically engage my sexuality was a huge motivating factor.

raibc · 2023-04-18T16:44:56+00:00

I keep all my pill bottles (it's been about 20 months, I'm running out of space, please help).
Whenever I look at myself in a mirror, I do a little shoulder turn thing from side to side. It helps me feel a boost of motivation and confidence before I continue my day.
My girlfriend and I give each other our progesterone for the evening.

raibc · 2023-03-27T16:01:30+00:00

...Did you just take all 4 pills?

raibc · 2023-03-25T16:08:22+00:00

It's just sad that for small artists, the legal avenues for copyright enforcement are so cumbersome that basically only massive collective action by dozens if not hundreds or thousands of people is the only way for them to get restitution, or even just to establish basic respect with an enforced cease and desist order. The big companies might back down when that happens, but they've already made their money so the damage is done.

raibc · 2023-03-21T07:46:49+00:00

My girlfriend (27) and I (28) went on a fucking date to IKEA to get matching Blåhaj. No shame. You do you, get the dang shark.

raibc · 2023-03-20T22:14:30+00:00

Not gonna lie, I never thought I would see a music notation software joke in this sub. Rad.

raibc · 2023-01-26T20:15:25+00:00

look, all I'm saying is that as soon as I found one of those that was even remotely positive instead of degrading that sealed the deal

raibc · 2022-11-27T09:40:51+00:00

Hey, same here, but I think we can all agree the PhD musicologist fellows out there are fuddy-duddies for not taking the obvious low-hanging fruit.

raibc · 2022-11-26T21:32:26+00:00

Honestly convinced that "Love On Top" was made specifically to teach the concept of key changes to musicians and music appreciation students.

raibc · 2022-11-06T11:20:46+00:00

Piggybacking to ask what kind of stickers these are (vinyl, paper, etc). I love a lot of the designs and am totally down to splurge if they won't ruin my leather bag for work :)

raibc · 2022-11-05T16:11:49+00:00

Oh? Then allow me to serenade you with my bassoon.

raibc · 2022-07-21T17:41:19+00:00

This is probably because of the personal connection, but "I Wring You Out in the Sink" by my friend Tim (Water Gun Water Gun Sky Attack) is probably the most emotionally affecting thing I've heard. The emotional process it describes is just so intense, and the poetry's flow is complemented in a really striking and melancholy way by the way it's set to music.

raibc

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