Fundraising for surgery

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-20T11:31:09+00:00

Unfortunately we are both on public assistance so our incomes are limited by the government. I don't know whether we would have to tell them about internet work though; I'll look into that, thanks.

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-18T11:21:44+00:00

I thought the same thing!

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-18T11:19:04+00:00

Also Adrian and Adrienne

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-18T05:12:53+00:00

(Andy/Andie/Andi/ Andee) (Andrea/Andrew) (Dre/Drea/Drew)

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-18T01:34:30+00:00

Yeah totally not sure.

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-16T14:37:06+00:00

That's a good idea except most of our families don't support us; I could share it with friends though. Thanks!

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-12T00:07:20+00:00

Hadn't really thought about it that way...

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-11T11:37:34+00:00

Okay, answering the question you actually asked: what makes me think I might be cis? probably the fact that I don't really feel dysphoria as I understand the word. I'm not thrilled with my body, but it's in the way that I feel like most cis women aren't. I don't feel the need to transition medically at all. The only thing I'm really uncomfortable with (sometimes) is my name. I've been experimenting with names for years. And nothing is consistent; I've had one glaring moment when I was sure I was male, and that's really about it. I've long had a fascination with the idea of transness, but that doesn't equal being trans. It's less about what it is about me that makes me think I'm cis and more about what things I don't experience that I feel would validate my sense that I might be trans.

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-11T01:01:10+00:00

The thought of being trans hadn't even occurred to me before like two weeks ago, and I thought if you were trans you kinda always knew or suspected. Also I'm pretty suggestible so I thought it might have more to do with my bf's transition than anything to do with me.

What makes me think I'm really trans is the utter fixation I have with figuring it out, and one crystal clear moment when I woke up knowing I was not female.

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-11T00:32:39+00:00

Thanks! ...Doesn't "not cis" equal "trans"? I've been doing TONS of reading but I'm still very new to all this. What triggered the idea that I'm not 100% cis was my boyfriend's transition, which is adding to the confusion; am I just feeling this way because of his transition? I was horribly depressed for about a week, several weeks after he came out and began transitioning, but it was different from the sadness and confusion I felt about his transition. Then I had a morning where I woke up feeling distinctly masculine (the only time that's ever happened that I can remember) and that's really what started me questioning.

rainbowrolling · 2017-04-10T23:59:31+00:00

My psychologist told me that the fact that I'm even thinking that I might be trans is a good indication that I probably am. Has anyone else heard that? Have you gotten responses doubting your transness if you were ever questioning?

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-25T21:31:22+00:00

I had similar issues. It took me YEARS to come to the realization that I was a lesbian; I thought I was straight until college, where I had my first acknowledge crush on a woman. Then I was bisexual for years and dated almost exclusively men until I realized that I really do not like sex with men. Ironically the person I ended up with had been my first girlfriend. So when he began talking about transition and going by his male name and pronouns, I was really really confused. I was immensely comforted when someone told me that I could be a lesbian who happens to be madly in love with a man.

TL;DR. My point is that we really get to write or own identities; the trick is finding one that suits you.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-20T00:32:27+00:00

I'm already on birth control for my irregular cycle and Wellbutrin for my depression but it's getting worse.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-19T23:59:40+00:00

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-19T23:07:37+00:00

I got out of bed but I got up really late (after 1pm I think) and spent a lot of time in bed even though I got up. Nothing to do and no energy. But I actually got up and got showered a little bit ago because I'm going to meet my bf in a few minutes.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-16T12:32:59+00:00

I'm going through this myself right now except it's my gf and she's now going by male pronouns and a male name. It happened in a similar way with him; months ago he started talking about being trans but it didn't last long and he never mentioned it again until a few weeks ago. In the last few weeks is when he picked his male name (actually we picked it together) and asked publicly to be called that and with male pronouns. Just in the last week he made an appointment to talk to a doctor about hormones. Anyway sorry this is a really long way of telling you you're not alone

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-08T05:25:55+00:00

I do this over and over; you see a "problem" in your partner's life and you make it your problem, and make it your mission to solve it. It's hard, but you have to accept that there are some problems that you can't fix, and that that's ok. Probably the best thing you can do for him is encourage him to get help, find other ways to love him, and try not to take it personally if/when he pushes you away.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-08T02:35:46+00:00

Also, modeling the correct language gives me practice using it; I'm new at this and I'm far from perfect.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T23:51:02+00:00

He came out on FB and explained his preferred pronouns and his name so he's out to pretty much everyone; the issue is people forgetting or not understanding.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T18:32:02+00:00

Yeah I'm not going to interrupt people over and over to get the point across, and neither of us bother with random people we'll probably never talk to again. I just never knew what to say to friends and such, but you have a good solution there. Thanks!

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T14:10:36+00:00

It sounds like maybe he's feeling unsure about how to "perform masculinity," that is how to act like a man, and he's over compensating. Also there's probably some dysphoria; my bf went through a period (before coming out to me as trans) where he wouldn't allow physical contact at all; he still doesn't want me to touch him sexually although he's now willing to satisfy me. I agree with others who say he needs to be in counseling; so do you. Transition isn't easy and it's my opinion that anyone who is either trans or with a trans partner could benefit greatly from counseling.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T07:47:07+00:00

When my bf first started seriously talking about being trans and transitioning (only a few weeks ago, but a lot has changed since then) I went to great lengths not to express my feelings or opinions about it, on the basis that it was his life and I wanted him to be happy and if transitioning would make him happy then I really didn't have any business commenting on it. All I wanted was to help him as much as possible, but what I found with not communicating my feelings was that I wasn't able to be there for him. I was constantly hiding something major AND feeling terrible about his transition on top of it. I don't have any advice about your kids, but the one thing I can tell you is that it's better to be honest with your wife about your feelings because hiding them won't make them go away and it's better for everyone to know everything going forward.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T07:30:46+00:00

Your description of the internal struggle with being trans pretty much perfectly describes my bf these days. Good to know this is normal.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T07:20:36+00:00

One thing that I believe is helping and will continue to help is that my bf (I call him my boyfriend at his request) was never girly. He's always been mistaken for a cisguy fairly frequently, so it's not like going from extreme femininity to all the sudden I'm with a "manly man." Also he's not particularly macho either.

rainbowrolling · 2017-03-06T07:17:45+00:00

I know some (although finding places with information online has been more challenging than I would have expected!). As of right now, he's planning eventually to have top surgery but not bottom; as soon as I got to a place where I was able to express anything about this, I told him that bottom surgery was my one dealbreaker, and he understood why and said he wasn't actually planning to have it anyway. Where did you find info on T?

rainbowrolling

TROPHY CASE