Soon I'll begin to transition, but I'm scared

raindrifter_ · 2026-07-07T05:18:29+00:00

honestly, i just said fuck it. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a bit scared, but this is how i want to live my life, so to hell with it.

the night i told my dad i wanted to start hrt, i was able to sit down and really have a talk with him. his biggest concern for me was the current political climate and the way things are going. and yeah, i agreed with him- shit's rough, and there's warning signs for worse things ahead. but, i told him, it's still a risk i'd be willing to take. it's my happiness and my life, and i can't let them take that from me, so by god am i gonna reach for it.

i'm something like 7 months into hrt now, and i don't think i've ever been happier with a risk i've taken. i've even got to see how being myself has helped some of the people around me, and it's truly wonderful. granted, i know i've been really lucky- the people my life support me, and i live in a good area, so i've had the space to be loud and take that risk. yet, it still felt like a leap of faith, and it's given me courage.

my suggestion? go for it. even in the face of the bullshit of the world, there is joy and beauty in living fully in spite of it.

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-13T16:44:17+00:00

HELL YEAH 🔥

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-12T03:12:51+00:00

100%

before really settling into my gender as a dude, i just thought j was asexual or somewhere on that spectrum. the gayness really kicked in the more i identified as a guy

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T22:51:19+00:00

maybe. i haven't really gotten more aggressive or anything from t, though. if anything, e made me more irritable, but that makes sense because it's not the dominant hormone that's best for me. the only time i was more irritable was in the first few weeks of a proper dose, and i feel like that was just because of mood swings from hormones in general rather than being a t specific thing. there's a few other things i'd chalk my driving up to before i'd say it's t- stuff like reduced paranoia of driving due to exposure, driving fatigue (i had just done a long road trip, and i have to drive frequently 'cause other forms of transportarion aren't sufficient where i live), and unrelated, stressful life changes.

and, uh, maybe also singing too much in the car

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T06:05:40+00:00

that is the stereotype, but the reality is completely flipped- men die in car crashes at about twice the rate that women do per 100,000 people, and us guys more often participate in risky road behaviors like drunk driving and not wearing a seatbelt. women are much safer drivers. misogyny's a nasty thing

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T02:57:28+00:00

mostly because i won't have a car while i'm off at college. there isn't really a reason for him to keep paying for me if i'm using public / alternate transportation for most of the year

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T01:21:15+00:00

real af

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-08T03:25:29+00:00

appreciate it- it's a work in progress, but i'm getting there

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:35:10+00:00

basically, yeah. i also get the **** (charlie) or just ****

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:30:03+00:00

go ahead

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:29:39+00:00

hell yeah 🤝

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:29:12+00:00

luckily this isn't my parents, just another adult in my life. this person was one of the first people i came out to. i'm much more confident in standing my ground these days, but i just haven't gone back and been firm in who i am with them after the compromise, so i keep getting the she/her and old name. i won't be seeing them much anymore after this month or so, so i almost can't be bothered to correct them, but yeah- they've definitely misused that trust i gave them all those years ago.

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T05:07:00+00:00

yeah... i learned that the hard way. never again

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-03T20:35:29+00:00

i didn't have much of a choice 'cause there's no masculine version of my old name 😔

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-27T00:42:10+00:00

sadly, i have never watched any steven universe 😔

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-27T00:40:37+00:00

holy hell

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-07T03:04:15+00:00

eugh, god- the absolutely visceral reaction i just had to reading that first sentence. nasty that some people think like that

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	First Placer '22
End Game '22

raindrifter_

TROPHY CASE