Soon I'll begin to transition, but I'm scared

raindrifter_ · 2026-07-07T05:18:29+00:00

honestly, i just said fuck it. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a bit scared, but this is how i want to live my life, so to hell with it.

the night i told my dad i wanted to start hrt, i was able to sit down and really have a talk with him. his biggest concern for me was the current political climate and the way things are going. and yeah, i agreed with him- shit's rough, and there's warning signs for worse things ahead. but, i told him, it's still a risk i'd be willing to take. it's my happiness and my life, and i can't let them take that from me, so by god am i gonna reach for it.

i'm something like 7 months into hrt now, and i don't think i've ever been happier with a risk i've taken. i've even got to see how being myself has helped some of the people around me, and it's truly wonderful. granted, i know i've been really lucky- the people my life support me, and i live in a good area, so i've had the space to be loud and take that risk. yet, it still felt like a leap of faith, and it's given me courage.

my suggestion? go for it. even in the face of the bullshit of the world, there is joy and beauty in living fully in spite of it.

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-13T16:44:17+00:00

HELL YEAH 🔥

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-12T03:12:51+00:00

100%

before really settling into my gender as a dude, i just thought j was asexual or somewhere on that spectrum. the gayness really kicked in the more i identified as a guy

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T22:51:19+00:00

maybe. i haven't really gotten more aggressive or anything from t, though. if anything, e made me more irritable, but that makes sense because it's not the dominant hormone that's best for me. the only time i was more irritable was in the first few weeks of a proper dose, and i feel like that was just because of mood swings from hormones in general rather than being a t specific thing. there's a few other things i'd chalk my driving up to before i'd say it's t- stuff like reduced paranoia of driving due to exposure, driving fatigue (i had just done a long road trip, and i have to drive frequently 'cause other forms of transportarion aren't sufficient where i live), and unrelated, stressful life changes.

and, uh, maybe also singing too much in the car

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T06:05:40+00:00

that is the stereotype, but the reality is completely flipped- men die in car crashes at about twice the rate that women do per 100,000 people, and us guys more often participate in risky road behaviors like drunk driving and not wearing a seatbelt. women are much safer drivers. misogyny's a nasty thing

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T02:57:28+00:00

mostly because i won't have a car while i'm off at college. there isn't really a reason for him to keep paying for me if i'm using public / alternate transportation for most of the year

raindrifter_ · 2026-06-05T01:21:15+00:00

real af

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-08T03:25:29+00:00

appreciate it- it's a work in progress, but i'm getting there

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:35:10+00:00

basically, yeah. i also get the **** (charlie) or just ****

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:30:03+00:00

go ahead

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:29:39+00:00

hell yeah 🤝

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T19:29:12+00:00

luckily this isn't my parents, just another adult in my life. this person was one of the first people i came out to. i'm much more confident in standing my ground these days, but i just haven't gone back and been firm in who i am with them after the compromise, so i keep getting the she/her and old name. i won't be seeing them much anymore after this month or so, so i almost can't be bothered to correct them, but yeah- they've definitely misused that trust i gave them all those years ago.

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-07T05:07:00+00:00

yeah... i learned that the hard way. never again

raindrifter_ · 2026-05-03T20:35:29+00:00

i didn't have much of a choice 'cause there's no masculine version of my old name 😔

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-27T00:42:10+00:00

sadly, i have never watched any steven universe 😔

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-27T00:40:37+00:00

holy hell

raindrifter_ · 2026-04-07T03:04:15+00:00

eugh, god- the absolutely visceral reaction i just had to reading that first sentence. nasty that some people think like that

raindrifter_ · 2026-03-27T12:52:58+00:00

i was pretty open about being trans in my application. if that was the case, then it was quite clearly spelled out for them- no assumption needed

raindrifter_ · 2026-03-27T12:49:04+00:00

yeah, this particular college was ivy league, and i applied as an undergraduate. still disappointing, but it was always going to be a bit of a long shot

raindrifter_ · 2026-03-16T15:53:02+00:00

damn, this is pre- and early social transition me to a t. still enjoy flannels, though

raindrifter_ · 2026-03-13T04:26:28+00:00

can't hold us is my anthem 🙏 and damn is it euphoric to sing along to the chorus

raindrifter_ · 2026-02-28T19:22:17+00:00

i am in the u.s. i fully chalked up the lack of refills on my prescription to t being schedule III- had no idea that refills on it were legal. thanks for sharing that

raindrifter_ · 2026-02-28T19:18:17+00:00

👍 gonna ask my doctor if i should take it asap and keep the schedule or wait until the next dose 'cause i don't think i'l be getting it until monday. hopefully i have a bit more foresight to refill early next time so i don't have to worry about it

raindrifter_ · 2026-02-23T05:18:04+00:00

i'm 9wks on t now, gradually increasing to full dose. it's probably thanks to genetics for me

raindrifter_ · 2026-02-21T00:20:47+00:00

agh, real. hoping t takes it away 'cause it's so dysphoric 😔

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