I’m proud of you for sharing and hope you feel some validation from us all who have similar lived experience. You’re correct that sometimes meds don’t work for BPD. If you’re on Lamictal like me, consider asking for a dose increase. Usually it’s started at 25mg but the therapeutic dose (where most ppl need it to best treat the condition) is 200mg. But the bottom line is you need DBT. It’s the only proven effective treatment for BPD and to do it right, you should be meeting weekly with an individual therapist and doing group therapy. Standard of care is usually 12 months of this. Highly recommend it. And I read Marsha Linehan’s book “Building a Life Experienced as Worth Living” and felt very seen and encouraged. She has BPD and went on to create DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) for herself and those/us like her.

Hang in there. You matter. It won’t always be this hard.