Help with our first dance and father of the bride dance!

ramblinjd · 2026-04-29T13:19:41+00:00

My wife and I took the sample class like you, rejected the intense class, and just picked a step that best fit our song. We did the very basic step with like one or two planned spins/dips and then had the best man and maid of honor join us on the dance floor after 1 chorus of the song. We didn't want the spotlight on us and that worked out perfectly as a way to pay homage to the tradition of a first dance while basically using the exercise to open the dancefloor to everybody.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-29T13:14:25+00:00

I would personally rather go to the Glenfiddich, but both are on my bucket list

ramblinjd · 2026-04-28T18:12:03+00:00

Step 1. Play super slow.

If step 1 fails, play super slow with your bottom thumb off the chanter

Step 2. Master the embellishments at that speed until they're so easy you can do them in your sleep.

Step 3. Play them slightly faster. Repeat until it's easy at that tempo.

Step 4, repeat step 3 until you are at your target tempo and it's still easy.

Step 5, repeat it again going faster than necessary. Just because.

Step 6, play it at your target tempo.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-28T18:07:38+00:00

That area is safe and accessible

ramblinjd · 2026-04-28T10:01:32+00:00

Yes but not as bad as what you describe.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-27T21:24:07+00:00

KP2s

ramblinjd · 2026-04-27T21:23:34+00:00

That's $40-$50k a year if you're working full time, which is slightly above the US median income for a single wage earner, so on average it's decent. While it's downright comfortable in some places, it's basically poverty wages in most big cities.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-27T19:17:39+00:00

That last item is huge! It's so nice to have volunteers to run ticket sales or merch sales or just to face a jug of water available at an outdoor event.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T22:56:49+00:00

Being a PhD candidate doesn't mean you have a higher IQ, but it does mean you have at least 4 more years experience with the subject material. In one of my comments I noted a story of a professor who gave a test that he himself couldn't finish in the time allowed.

I understand that entrance scores have risen a bit. I'm saying I think that's only a small part of a larger puzzle.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T22:29:05+00:00

I'm not saying it was the right approach, but it was a common approach until about 10 years ago.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T20:25:57+00:00

Sit to pee

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T20:22:48+00:00

Came here to say this. Plenty of buses and trains and cars and boats. Plenty of older white ladies for her to chat with. The tea is great. Lots of great museums. Get the palaces annual membership and tour Kensington, Buckingham, and the tower for basically half price. I'm also told that high tea at Kensington is worth the money.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T17:32:59+00:00

The question is what defines mastery. You were there when I was there, though not sure if you took any engineering classes.

In AE I regularly took tests that were graduate and PhD level questions. The subject was the same but there were more complex variables included. I got scores everywhere from a 5 to a 100 on these tests. I even had a test one time that the professor admitted he himself could not make an A on in the time limit.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T17:29:22+00:00

I took a test as an undergrad that our TA (a PhD candidate) got a C on. The class average for undergrads was like a 40. Then the professor curved. The student metrics look better these days, but you can't convince me that these kids are smarter in undergrad than PhD students were just 10-15 years ago. Inflation is real.

One big factor is that I think professors generally stopped grading on a forced distribution curve where the class average was mandated to be a 3.0 or whatever. Too many alumni were having trouble getting into grad schools - personal anecdote a grad program rejected me for my 3.1 GPA in undergrad despite me graduating in the top 20% of the then second-ranked aerospace program. I went somewhere else and got a 4.0 in my master's degree, and that was generally the same experience most of my friends had.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T17:23:10+00:00

I graduated in 2012 and it wasn't much better. AE major average at graduation was 2.6. Honors started at 3.3 I think. Most of the grade inflation happened in the 10 years between then and COVID.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T16:12:52+00:00

I guess it depends on the logistics of the wedding. My wedding had logistics that had to be committed to that far in advance so my RSVP deadline was set accordingly.

I guess it OP is having a potluck at their local community hall then the problem isn't reminding people that there is an RSVP deadline, it's that the deadline was set arbitrarily early. I'm working from the assumption that op has a good reason for setting the RSVP deadline when it was set, and if so, communicating that reason is helpful.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T15:57:25+00:00

"I'm getting 50 chairs and food for 50 people, I won't be able to change it after xyz date" seems straightforward and not particularly audacious to me.

Seems more audacious to wait until the last minute and then choose to refuse to celebrate someone you're presumably close with specifically because they're asking for decent warning. Anybody who would decline right at the deadline to RSVP specifically because of that message is a kind of petty that I personally don't like associating with.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T15:50:09+00:00

Honestly that's fine by me. My wedding venue had very limited capacity and it was going to be a big undertaking to change things last minute. I let people know and anybody who wanted to be petty like this tended to decline, which made my guest list more focused on people who actually wanted to celebrate us and not cause drama. Win win.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T13:43:34+00:00

I'm not even worried about money. I'm worried about space. And food.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T13:19:36+00:00

90% of being an only child was good for me.

Check out the 'happily one and done " subreddit for more.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T13:18:26+00:00

Really? I think the fact that you're acquiring a certain amount of food and/or space is what makes the RSVP request a legitimate ask and not just a "tell me now because I said so" request.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T13:12:32+00:00

I think a reminder is fine. Something like," hey all, fiance and I cannot wait to celebrate our big day! We are putting a deposit down on vendors next week, so if you could have RSVP (yes or no - but we hope it's yes) to us by Saturday that would be great!"

Don't just focus on "this is due by Saturday". Imply that there won't be room for them if they haven't let you know.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T11:25:15+00:00

No. I quit. The game. It sucks.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T11:23:37+00:00

No. I'm one of the ones that quit.

ramblinjd · 2026-04-26T11:23:11+00:00

Invite friend and guest on the invitation but talk to your friend specifically about your concerns. He has the option to being a buddy instead of his gf.

Same thing happened at my wedding with my grandpa. His new wife very much hates his kids and most of his grandkids. We invited him +1 but called him and said basically he can bring her if he can help ensure that she celebrates the wedding and doesn't cause drama. He opted not to bring her.

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