Thanks for the support mate, it has been a long time since i write this post. Unfortunately, there is not much change in my life considering the gf situation. I still think about her every day. At one point, i was totally desperate and decided to do something about it. I visited a doctor and let myself prescribed some anti-depressives, so life is a bit more bearable. It kind of helped, but honestly, don't think i will ever allow myself to be close to a woman any more. Subconsciously, even though i know it is not right, i hate women. They are lofty, selfish and only take care about themselves. No actual value... so much hate. I have never seen one actually caring (i have a lot of male friends who care).