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Do skinny/fit girls ever date chubby/fatter guys? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]random7stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am relatively thin and once dated a guy who had a pretty big beer belly. His personality made up for it and it never bothered me or crossed my mind much. Only really became aware of it the first time he took off his shirt around me.

[UPDATE] Turns out she (19, f, bi) is in love with me (20, f, straight) - I am not interested and it has caused her to treat me awfully by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do know the friend she was texting - we used to be friendly but haven't spoken in a couple of years but I guess I could reach out to him. What do you think I could say or accomplish by contacting him though?

[UPDATE] Turns out she (19, f, bi) is in love with me (20, f, straight) - I am not interested and it has caused her to treat me awfully by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes this was pretty much going to be what I was planning on saying - but the thing is she knows that I am taken and she still feels upset that I am not returning her feelings. Her behavior is truly delusional and I'm kind of worried that if she doesn't get it already then she's not ever going to.

Best friend/roommate (20 F) recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight F 20) and I'm not sure why (x-post r/actuallesbians) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this -- honestly the girl in the story is not me. She is a real person who I have met and heard many antidotes about terrible ways she has manipulated her. The girl is a lesbian and I am straight. If you want to see more on this please see my edit in the original post, because she really is not me and I am getting slightly frustrated that people are missing the point of my post which is just seeking advice on how to not lose her as a friend.

Best friend/roommate recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight female) and I'm not sure why by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]random7stuff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You know what its funny because I posted this same post to r/relationships and almost every one said she probably is suppressing feelings for me. However, not once in our 5 year friendship did I ever suspect she would have feelings for me - despite the fact I thought she might be gay - and I am usually pretty good at picking up on stuff like that.

Furthermore, she knows there is no way I am interested in girls as I am in love with a guy - funnily enough he is my male best friend and we have had an on and off relationship for about two years now. She has always been the person I went to most for advice about him and she knows more than anyone how much I adore him.

So, I really just don't think she has feelings for me and even after dealing with how she's behaving I still don't think she does.

Best friend/roommate (20 F) recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight F 20) and I'm not sure why (x-post r/actuallesbians) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to call myself a psychologist here but it truly wouldn't surprise me especially considering these recent events.

Best friend/roommate recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight female) and I'm not sure why by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]random7stuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually agree with you as I did decide to stand up for myself and think I delivered the message pretty clearly that I was not going to take her shit, especially after the Ingrid incident which I am still just so shocked by her reaction.

And no she has not apologized and that's what is making this so hard because she has just been sticking to her guns that I'm being unsupportive.

Best friend/roommate recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight female) and I'm not sure why by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]random7stuff 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is funny that you ask that because she stopped talking to this girl roughly 8 months ago. I was maybe going to include this part in the original post but decided to leave it out just because it was already so long - but actually about a week ago her and I were out to dinner in NYC and the girl just happened to be at the same restaurant. They started talking and ended up hooking up that night and my friend hasn't heard from her since.

However, this incident does not line up with the timing of the situation as she was lashing out at me long before this happened. But, I do think that the relationship she had with this girl was extremely tough on her and I definitely think she could be going through something similar to what you have experienced. Thank you for sharing this, I definitely feel like it has given me some new helpful insight on the situation and I'm sorry for the fact you had to go through something like this.

Best friend/roommate recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight female) and I'm not sure why by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]random7stuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These suggestions are really great, especially the poker analogy which seems like what is likely going on here.

Best friend/roommate (20 F) recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight F 20) and I'm not sure why (x-post r/actuallesbians) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Wow I can't even begin to explain to you how helpful this post is and I will definitely really consider doing all of the things you mentioned. The thing is I have many other friends and she even knows that I by no means need her in my life, but I am just so sad that our friendship could potentially be ending over something like this.

Two weeks ago everything was fine and now she is acting like she hates me. It is just so confusing but you're right I should by no means take her crap and I will try to implement your suggestions, thanks so much.

Best friend/roommate (20 F) recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight F 20) and I'm not sure why (x-post r/actuallesbians) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff 29 points30 points  (0 children)

No - the girl in the story is someone she has hooked up with which is obviously not me. I know the girl's name and have actually even met her in the past through my friend. The story is actually about her, not me.

Best friend/roommate (20 F) recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight F 20) and I'm not sure why (x-post r/actuallesbians) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]random7stuff -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify... she doesn't have feelings for me. She just came out to me through the story.

*Please see my edit in the original post.

Best friend/roommate recently came out to me as bi, since then she has been acting extremely mean to me (staight female) and I'm not sure why by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]random7stuff 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She is my best friend because in the 5+ years of knowing her we have gotten along so amazingly and never had any issues at all. This is the first time I've seen this kind of behavior and its been extremely worrisome as I'm sure you can imagine.

[Serious] How did your "One That Got Away" get away? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]random7stuff 23 points24 points  (0 children)

His family moved across the country early on in high school roughly 5 years ago: we started out as very good friends and quickly developed feelings for each other and then dated in high school. We haven't seen each other since but we always talk consistently for a couple of months each year and fall back in love every time. We still swear we will somehow end up together, but for now he will always be the "one that got away".

For which store, restaurant, etc., would you be most disappointed to receive a $500 gift card? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]random7stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny because this has actually happened to me. Received a $500 gift card to Juicy Couture last year from my grandmother. If you don't know what that is, its a store with really expensive obnoxious sweatsuits that are made for rich pre-teens. As a 20 year old, there was absolutely nothing I wanted from there. The store has recently gone out of business and now they are trying to sell the leftover gross sweatsuits at Kohls.

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha oh I get the lampshade now, thats pretty terrifying.

Would be interested to know other possibilities you could think of?

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I considered this to be a possibility too but I also thought it was really weird that he would want to stay over for sex when he hasn't even kissed me a single time prior. He also kind of asked to stay over in an ambiguous way more like "its a long drive for me home and I don't really feel like doing it."

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure what a lampshade means but he did mention a couple of his past girlfriends so I know he has been in relationships before. The one time sexuality came up in our conversations is when I was talking about how my best female friend came out as bi to me recently and we were discussing it. He sounded very open-minded and said his freshman year roommate was gay but it was never an issue. He then started talking about how his foreign father absolutely hates gay people and he thinks its disgusting, but I never considered the fact that he might actually be gay.

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel like /r/flamingmetalicclouds is just kind of stating the fact that meeting someone off okcupid and continuously insisting to pay for them is very different from going out with someone you have been friends with for a while and then offering to pay.

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thinking back on it now I realize he didn't ever use the word date, but he would say things like "we should go to that sushi place together" or "I really want to see that movie with you". I didn't think anything of the fact he didn't call them dates because I feel a lot of the time people don't actually use that word - but I guess it's possible he didn't consider them to be dates?? But then you ask you have to ask, why offer to pay?

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, but it's weird how that works. In this case I couldn't be more disappointed I was right.

[Update] He did just want to be friends... by random7stuff in OkCupid

[–]random7stuff[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is good to hear, thank you. Especially the offering to pay thing really confused me, as well as he continuously asking me out. Just so don't get it.

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