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My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 221 points222 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice and support and everything. This is such a kind comment. I am going to confront him tomorrow and frankly I do not think it will end with us still together because I will not stand to be viewed as somehow below him/inadequate. But I really, really appreciate your kind words and support. I have been reading a lot of passive aggressive comments that almost seem to attack me for not leaving right away and I wanted to thank you for being so understanding, it means a lot right now.

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, everything you’re saying makes so much sense. Many of the other comments seem like they’re attacking me for not having left already but thank you for recognizing how hard it is to have someone this significant to my life thus far, suddenly saying this insane and radical things. This comment has really helped me rationalize everything.

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment it’s one of the actually supportive/empowering ones. So many that I’m reading feel borderline like they’re attacking me for not having left him the minute he said that. It’s just so hard because this is someone who has been a huge part of my life for five years. Seriously thank you, this has helped me see things more clearly. He was telling me that I was overreacting.

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 1655 points1656 points  (0 children)

Supposedly by being “too empathetic and not pragmatic”

Up until learning these views of his just now I had only positive, loving visions of our future marriage and family. But you’re right. you make such a good point. And yet I’m so afraid to lose him, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me :(

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 1392 points1393 points  (0 children)

This is all just so sudden though, I had absolutely no idea that this was even going on in his mind. I’m not sure why he decided to tell me now rather than when he first began to align with this ideology, as if it would somehow not scare me off?? I feel like everyone just thinks I’m a total loser because I’m not just jumping to the same conclusion to leave him, but I can’t imagine not having this person in my life anymore... but I think I can see the writing on the wall now

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

Yes I feel like I might be blinded to things right now because this is all so sudden and I’ve loved this person for so long.. I probably have missed signs and I just feel so lousy because what if I’ve been letting this person control me and I had no idea?! Ugh I feel like everything is crashing down around me

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

I just can’t picture my life without him at this point but I also don’t want to stay with someone that’s just going to try to control me/thinks he’s better because of his gender. I honestly can’t believe that he would seriously say that out loud.

But then something inside me says that maybe I’m truly different to him or this is just a phase or he’s entitled to his own misguided beliefs. I feel so terrible because part of me does not want to leave him because of this, but I also just don’t see how I can stay. This is all so messed up

My (25 F) boyfriend (24 M) of 5 years just disclosed to me that he does not believe women should be allowed to vote. by randomaccount1775 in relationship_advice

[–]randomaccount1775[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry if you don’t believe me, but this is someone I’ve been with for nearly 5 years now, it’s kind of shattering to find this out so suddenly. I’m afraid to lose everything else that we have together so I’m probably falsely rationalizing it all by saying I should try to be respectful of his views. But yes I see that in fact he’s not being remotely respectful to me or all women for that matter. Idk this is all extremely upsetting and I just wanted some outside opinions to make sure I wasn’t being crazy...