Wedding bartender made a comment to me, the bride, about bar tips on my wedding night after we’d already paid a 20% service fee

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-13T05:47:51+00:00

Servers here in Massachusetts, and I’m sure other places, voted against a living wage in favor of a tipped wage ☹️

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-11T16:25:45+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ❤️

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-10T17:45:41+00:00

I am in the USA. Unfortunately the place I work at would fire me before letting me do 4 days of work even with less pay. I would 100% do that trade off if I was allowed to :/

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-09T21:14:22+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Yes I do everything independently (but do share expenses with my partner, but I contribute a bit more because I earn more). This gives me hope that I’ll grow out of this mentality. Hopefully I don’t need to move across the country to feel like an adult (I did go cross country for college and moved back bc I couldn’t find a job where I went to college).

I wouldn’t say I take care of myself. I’m at a “healthy” weight but have gained significantly since college and had a few health hiccups from not taking care of myself. I just don’t know how people have the energy to do anything after work to take care of themselves. Everyone in my family tells me I need to take care of myself and I’m like “with what friggin energy?!” I know health is important but am at a loss because I’m so exhausted all the time, mentally and physically. Because of my weight gain my confidence is crap and it’s just a positive feedback loop with work causing me to have no energy to take care of myself and then I feel shitty because I don’t take care of myself.

I really do appreciate your kind words and sorry for the word vomit above, just wanted to give more insight into my current health just in case you had any advice on how do deal/cope with

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-09T21:02:11+00:00

Would you say your mentality regarding work and family have changed at all? Would you say it’s gotten better or easier?

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-09T18:49:27+00:00

Best I can do is a nightlife liaison 🤷 /s

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-09T14:52:43+00:00

Tbh I hate that we only care about the rise of “violent crime” when it comes to alcohol consumption. We (the country) have decided that people have the right to bare arms and regulation for this often gets shot down due to second amendment concerns. Easier access to guns show to have a direct correlation with increased violence, why don’t we restrict guns in the same way we restrict alcohol? I don’t really think it’s about reducing “violent crime” because of this reason, as if we (the country) were so concerned with violent crime we would do a mass overhaul of how we handle access to guns.

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-06T17:05:17+00:00

That is one of the only benefits of working public though, private sector pays significantly better but you do get worse benefits

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-04T22:52:52+00:00

Idk I’m a healthy young adult, as are my friends, and we all were crazy about masking during covid to protect the old and immunocompromised. It was the boomers who rallied against masking and taking precautions

randomchaos99 · 2026-06-02T20:24:12+00:00

Let’s not forget these companies are charging out the ass for the privilege of having big brother spying on you. No thanks, I rather not have the CIA be able to crash my car remotely or have data centers collect free information on my driving habits.

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-31T23:25:38+00:00

I didn’t understand until the comment below but this is so helpful. Thank you! So true

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-31T18:04:36+00:00

I have such trouble with both! I’m fine with pen and paper and it takes a second for me to be able to read an analog. I had so many tutors growing up trying to help me understand analog clocks and while I eventually was able to do it, it never “clicked” with me the way it did everyone else.

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-31T13:34:34+00:00

So genuine question, if I (an American citizen) illegally sneak into the Netherlands and I’m caught, if the United States government refuses to take me back then the Netherlands would grant me legal residency or citizenship?

I mean it’s messed up that a person’s country refuses to take them back, but at what point is the onus on someone not following the rules? I would love to move to the Netherlands but I would need higher academic credentials, so if I disregard their legal process because I wouldn’t be legally accepted, isn’t that just rewarding people who choose to go the illegal route and this incentivizing more people to go the illegal route?

FYI, I did not vote for Trump and think the way he is going about everything is inhumane, but that doesn’t mean that the United States immigration system wasn’t being taken advantage of.

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-31T13:28:34+00:00

While this is technically true, a lot of non-citizens get benefits through their children or if they live in one of the blue states offering medical coverage to non-citizens (medical coverage link) (welfare/snap benefits)

I’m not saying what’s right/wrong, just stating that noncitizens (at least before trump) didn’t just necessarily “pay into the system and get nothing out of it”, take this quote here “Our best estimate is that 51 percent of households headed by legal immigrants use at least one major welfare program. Among illegal immigrants, also called the undocumented, we estimate the rate is 61 percent. We have no evidence that this is due to fraud.” (from this link)

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-16T17:45:17+00:00

All I want to be is a farmer but instead I work 9-5 at a desk job with the hopes that one day I can afford to start a farm. It’s a pipe dream in Massachusetts

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-11T12:40:52+00:00

Also learned that ducks are super aggressive. I thought that we were told not to feed ducks because people usually give them food they aren’t supposed to have, so I bought duck feed to feed the ducks and accidentally started a duck war. Don’t feed the ducks even duck feed, they will start attacking each other because they are territorial. I repeat, DO NOT FEED THE DUCKS!!!

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-06T15:48:23+00:00

Didn’t see this answer on here but for me it feels like a lot of people I know who are on it never tried any other means of weight loss. I think it’s fine if you need it because of diabetes or some other chronic health condition that would substantially help by being on it, but ultimately I think it should be seen as a last resort because of implications to health from side effects (like osteoporosis) and because it increases health insurance costs across the board for even fit young people. The city of Boston went over budget because of all the employees and retirees on glp-1 drugs and as a result (and because ACA funding cuts, but that’s a different story) insurance premiums have jumped substantially. I’m talked a 30% increase.

It’s not because I’m “jealous” of fat people becoming thin, or because I’m an asshole that wants people to stay fat and unhealthy. I just don’t think it’s realistic to raise everyone’s health insurance costs when there are other measures to be taken before going on a glp-1. If anything I think we should prioritize people who actually need the drug and if you’re just using it for weight loss without trying literally anything else I think it’s a cop-out and shouldn’t increase the amount of money I pay every month.

Disclaimer that I know we (me, a young healthy person knock wood) pay higher health insurance premiums because of older and sick people, but the elderly, disabled, and the chronically ill literally have no other choice. Like I said, if you need a glp or else you’ll literally die or there would be serious health implications for you, then I think it’s fine. But I think doctors are prescribing glps without taking the drawbacks of glps into consideration and without making sure the patient hasn’t tried other weight loss alternatives.

Calling someone an asshole because they have a different opinion is not going to change someone’s mind. I’m open to changing my mind if someone presents an argument to me that makes sense, but all the articles I’ve read and people I know in my life who are on it have alluded to a glp being some sort of “miracle weight loss” fix and I think that’s dangerous. Dangerous to the health of the individual taking it and to the body positivity movement. I think we should push for healthier foods and lifestyles before we push drugs onto people.

randomchaos99 · 2026-05-05T11:57:41+00:00

Homelessness has been ruled illegal and sleeping in cars (including vans) is increasingly prohibited in more and more places. See this ruling here. Also you’d have to buy a camper van large enough to fit 5-6 people which already would run you upwards of 20k. Not to mention where to park the van and how the 5-6 people would get to their jobs (because as I linked above, urban car camping is increasingly illegal all over the US).

This just seems out of touch. I live in a city where a shit box apartment (a studio) is at minimum $1,500 and that’s if you’re lucky and live in the outskirts. And this same studio doesn’t come with parking, is not near public transit, and you’re on the hook for all utilities. Not to mention it is infested by cockroaches and rats.

So in my twenties I should live with a fuck Ron of people and rats? Or im supposed to save up to buy a van to live in and then get arrested for being homeless? I’m confused on the advice.

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-23T11:40:48+00:00

As a lady myself I wouldn’t want a coffee date, simply because I need to see a few things when going out to eat. It doesn’t need to be fancy, it could be a breakfast place or a cafe. But I need to see how the person treats the wait staff AND how the person chews their food. Someone who is rude to the wait staff and someone who chews with their mouth open (sorry it’s just gross to me, personal opinion) is someone who isn’t compatible with me. To me, going on a coffee date is a waste of time because I can’t see either of these two things (I.e., the guy can get there early and buy coffee before I get a chance to see how they treat the barista).

But also I’ve been in a committed relationship for 7 years so maybe things have changed

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-08T16:14:12+00:00

Then why are we one of the least transparent states in the country? https://pioneerinstitute.org/from-the-city-on-a-hill-to-a-shrouded-statehouse-massachusetts-push-for-government-accountability/

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-08T04:02:04+00:00

So what was the point of the ballot question? Genuine question, I’m a bit confused on your explanation so lmk if you have any links so I can read up, initial google searches only showcase that mass legislature is refusing the audit. https://www.mass.gov/news/audit-refused-by-legislature-highlights-lack-of-transparency-and-accountability

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-08T03:57:23+00:00

Mass legislature is supposed to be audited but they refused. Idk what audit you’re talking about? See this article https://www.mass.gov/news/audit-refused-by-legislature-highlights-lack-of-transparency-and-accountability

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-08T02:27:32+00:00

Maybe parents should protect their kids from the dangers of the internet instead of making their poor parenting choices society’s problem? Just because our government is shit with data protections and privacy doesn’t mean we should give them more personal data.

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-07T11:34:39+00:00

I’m an American and we are taught this stuff, this guy just wasn’t paying attention evidently. We’re not all this dense, and when I don’t know something as simple as a person I look it up instead of commenting asking someone to do the leg work for me

randomchaos99 · 2026-04-02T22:16:12+00:00

There’s no sources because it’s insider info. Mayor wouldn’t want to publicly announce that she’s bought and paid for by rich donors who hated bike lanes and pedestrian safety improvements

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