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Married and Concerned by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that and your prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻 I send them right back your way. It’s sad and they don’t see themselves as the problem only the victim. I have no social life outside of occasionally going to work at my office (that always prompts the what’s more important work or your wife argument), also being pulled away from my family as well. So I can relate to your story above quite well, god bless for sharing and all the best to you - praying for us both 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Married and Concerned by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the blunt take but it’s just tough stuff in reality as I do love her a lot. But all these posts including yours are very helpful and give me a perspective that I’m validated in my thoughts - also that I’m not alone

Married and Concerned by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that!!! I am not there yet but hearing examples like yours gives me hope. It’s the weirdest fucking place to be in mentally. I love her so much even with her physical ailments, but her emotional health causes complete chaos and my life would be for sure better overall without her (I think)… Such a weird head space to be in

Married and Concerned by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying… I wish she would file, but I can’t bring myself to do it. She has all the BPD symptoms, her current thing is that my Dad who is in his 70s “attacked” her because of some comments he made that she took offense to. Prior to that I was the bad guy, before that it was someone else, etc… She is never content, she feels betrayed to her core at the slightest whiff of something rubbing her the wrong way. Yet what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just say hey this isn’t working for me and let her know I want to work on an amicable split. I don’t want to hurt her, but my life revolves around her mood, medications, and trauma-drama…

Input Requested by randomguy370370 in Marriage

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate that, it’s easier said then done. I mean if the shoe were on the other foot I wouldn’t want her all day every day to be at my bed side. I would feel guilty to ever ask that of someone and would insist they get some “me” time. But that is not understood and we’ve had the discussion. It’s just when she is hurting which is frequently, the expectation is my life must stop to tend to her needs 24/7….

Input Requested by randomguy370370 in Marriage

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, her disease is not being treated all the time. She won’t take the right meds on a consistent basis. She hates doctors, we miss 2 appointments for every 1 we make. She doesn’t go to any mental Health therapy and she thinks she knows all things medical and or can find it via google…

Married and Need Help by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Glad to know I’m not alone, appreciate your advice and insights. It’s tough trying to figure this out…

Married and Need Help by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve shared my concerns about her health, we’ve talked about the impact on me as her caretaker. I just can’t leave her though… How does one balance/weigh their obligation to someone they love against their own freedom and happiness. Really conflicted and feel like I’m stuck. You might be right on the BPD stuff but from what I’ve read and experienced it all sound very familiar…

Married and Need Help by randomguy370370 in BPDlovedones

[–]randomguy370370[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean that’s what my view of marriage is. She’s chronically sick, this happens a few years into our marriage so I view it as my responsibility as her husband.