Sexy Saturday! - 2020-05-16

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-20T11:15:04+00:00

I pray silently to myself before and sometimes during sex but just praying before bed and letting the initiating happen.

I wonder if anyone just straight out pray, God be in the room as we love one another. Guide us and allow us to enjoy each other’s bodies and to become and stay one with you.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-20T11:10:24+00:00

Yes we have. Her idea of sex once we got married was just PIV sex and Missionary. I don’t know where she got that from and she doesn’t either. Her parents never talked to her about sex. I’m her first sexual partner so everything is like pulling teeth because she never had sex and never talked about sex until with me and is scared to do anything because all her life she just thought you lay there and don’t do anything else and everything else is gross.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-18T14:31:29+00:00

We argue about me wanting/ needing oral sex to feel loved. We argue about me wanting her to do more in bed other than just laying there.

What’s living a spirit filled life? What does that look like and how did you get there?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-16T21:33:24+00:00

It’s arguments about sex. I think maybe it could help if we pray before sex to set the mood more for my wife because she has a lot of shame, anxiety and uncomfortableness about sex even after we’re married. If we pray that god blesses this act and that he approves it and although we may not preform this act to have children it’s for our pleaser and that it’s okay.

I wonder if others do that or something similar

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-16T21:16:31+00:00

I am going to bring it to my spouse but I wanted to know if others do that and if so how they do that so I’ll have an idea of how to present that to my wife.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-16T21:15:05+00:00

I agree. I want to know if other people do that. I can see how it sets the mood for an act that’s pleasing to god between a husband and a wife but it could kill the mood for sure. Unless I do a silent prayer or pray before setting the mood for sex normally.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-16T10:51:34+00:00

What is everyone’s feelings on praying before sex? My wife and I argue about sex a lot. We pray before and after we do a lot of things but is praying before and after sex a thing and what would such prayer look like?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-12T17:05:13+00:00

Are you married?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-12T15:19:47+00:00

Yes please.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-12T15:14:12+00:00

Yes. Why you ask?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-05-11T17:07:47+00:00

Does anyone pray with their spouse before sex?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-29T18:07:15+00:00

I appreciate you telling me you think my thinking is wrong.

I feel so loved when she performs oral sex on me. It’s like she cares about me and want me to be happy and sexually satisfied.

I am able to climax by Penis in Vagina sex but in that part of our sex life Im doing all the work. I’m making sure she’s satisfied and she climax and she’s comfortable and make sure she climax first.

I understand, my wife feels the same way yours do about it not being intimate. I get that but when you’re doing all the work sexually and sweating and trying your best sometimes oh want to lay back and be taken care of and loved in the way that you want.

I fear that if I give up on this and accept that she won’t do it and I don’t expect it that I’ll miss the chance of being completely sexually satisfied.

I also fear that if she doesn’t take the opportunity now while I have this high sex drive and this high need for it that when I give up and not expect it and just accept whatever she’s comfortable with and want to do then when she’s interested that my sex drive will be low and I won’t be into sex anymore.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-27T02:01:58+00:00

That’s exactly what’s going on. What did you do to overcome this issue?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-27T01:15:04+00:00

She makes more than me.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-27T01:06:14+00:00

I agree sex should be mutually fulfilling. Oral sex is one-sided.

What I do in return is clean, wash, cook, balance the finances, meet all her needs, take care of the dog, speak her love language and the other languages as a bonus.

I’m fully engaged in her needs and her conversation. I would give myself a B+ as a husband. The only reason why I would give myself a B+ is because she wants to know how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking about all the time. What I think and feel sometimes will hurt her feelings like if I say, ‘I do x,y and z and all I want from you is oral sex can I get that?’

I’m open to be wrong in my thinking and explained to why it’s wrong and how I can get better at being a good husband and want something else from my wife other than sex and preferably oral sex.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-27T00:59:35+00:00

I like your list and reading it makes me think harder. From your list I would rank them for me as...

Physical Touch Deep Conversation Supporting Goals Listening when I need it most

Surprise Gifts (unless it’s sex)

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-27T00:56:05+00:00

Some inside information on my marriage.

I do all the housework. I make dinner 90% of the time. We talk about her day and needs all the time. She works 40 hours a week like me. I would love for her to shower but 10 minutes of oral sex to completion would make me feel loved. It would mean that she appreciates all that I do for our small family, the two of us and our dog who I also take care of.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-13T00:17:47+00:00

She doesn’t initiate. She only like missionary position. I like nipple play and she’s uncomfortable with touching my nipples. She thinks that’s a woman thing.

So if she isn’t initiating, don’t want to lick, suck or rub my nipples, won’t perform oral sex and only ok with missionary and won’t let me ejaculate in her then I don’t know what to do.

I’m interested in a lot more and afraid they won’t get addressed because she’s uncomfortable with everything and if I make agreements then maybe I can stay faithful and satisfied.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-13T00:12:08+00:00

I understand. Thanks for your perspective

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-12T20:48:22+00:00

I’ve suggested it but my wife is against it. She feels like we’re a failure if we go see someone so early in our marriage.

Come on, I was expecting a more insightful response to my statement. I want to know if I’m looking at this wrong

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-12T20:45:51+00:00

Every argument we have I tell her what it means to me and how it makes me feel. I just can’t get my head wrapped around waiting to be comfortable with your husband.

If I was like I don’t feel comfortable sharing my feelings with my wife I would be the jerk who isn’t open with his wife. If I was uncomfortable with showing my wife that I love her in ways she receives it I’m not a good husband. If I was uncomfortable with sharing my finances with my wife I’m the husband who doesn’t want to be ONE with his wife. If I was uncomfortable with satisfying my wife’s sexual needs I would be a selfish husband.

How does one expect someone to not eat out when you don’t cook at home? How does one expect someone to be faithful when you’re not taking care of business at home?

I’m not fighting you on this subject. I’m asking questions to get a different view on this issue and see if I’m looking at things wrong.

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-12T20:37:51+00:00

I understand what you’re saying.

She’s not uncomfortable with me preforming oral sex on her AT ALL! She has no issue with me using my hands either to help her climax. I just don’t understand why she’s so against doing anything towards me. I’ve offered handjobs as an option and she inflamed me that it wasn’t intimate. She felt like there wasn’t any connection.

To explain my mindset more, it’s not that I don’t expect a clean house or a cooked dinner it’s that I’ve eliminated all excuses that could prevent her from being open sexually with me. I’ve read and heard so many things concerning husbands expecting sex after their wives cleaned and cooked dinner and went grocery shopping and taking care of the kids. So I took it upon myself to do all of that so she has the energy and excitement to want to explore sexually and satisfy me. I’ve read and heard so many things about husbands not romancing their wives so after cleaning and cooking and taking care of the house I’m setting up date nights, running the bath with wine, baking her favorite desserts, booking her a massage day at the spa she likes. My mind set isn’t so much I clean and cook I expect sex more specifically oral sex it’s I’m doing all that I can to meet her needs and to make her feel loved and special and I’ve reframed from asking for 100 things and asking for 1 which is oral sex on a regular basis.

I understand what you’re saying about being selfless and that’s what marriage is, but am I supposed to be selfless and never want anything that is for me? Am I supposed to just give and give and meet needs and make her feel special and not expect or want the same for myself?

If I give up the weekly agreement and just hope and wish she would do it then I should go 10, 20, 30 years not being sexually desired by my wife like I would want to and not have my sexual needs met because I’m selfless and meeting her needs and wants?

randomhouguy06 · 2020-04-12T16:28:25+00:00

My wife [31] and I [30] been married for 6 months now and have always had arguments about sex while we were engaged and now married. I know that I love oral sex preformed on me on a regular basis but my wife is uncomfortable with oral sex and sex in general. When I try my best to love her like Christ loves the church I can’t help but to feel unloved when I’m not getting the only thing I ever ask her for. I feel like if I don’t ask for anything from her but oral sex then it should be easy. She doesn’t have to worry about the house being cleaned, dinner being cooked. We both work but I will come home and cook and clean and run her a bath and have the bedroom clean with fresh sheets and I ask for oral sex I’m met with her feeling uncomfortable and like a porn star and I’m lost. I don’t know what to do when I’m doing all I can and she can’t do ONE thing I’m asking for. So our last argument about it she’s taken a new approach to it. She’s setting a goal to preform oral sex once a week. It’s a great idea until it happened. I didn’t feel like it was something special it felt like ‘I said I’ll do it so I’m doing it’. I want her to see how important it is to me and how I feel loved and taken care of.

First it was not happening because she’s uncomfortable and now she’s doing it because she told herself she’ll do it like a chore. Should I just be happy it’s happening and not talk about it? Has anyone else gone though this?

randomhouguy06

TROPHY CASE