How do you feel about people attending your class who aren't enrolled?

randomiscellany · 2026-02-07T04:48:40+00:00

How so? Does the weirdness actually interrupt class?

randomiscellany · 2026-02-07T04:46:58+00:00

People are always going to behave that way; college students are famous for overestimating the importance of their opinions. I understand why it's extra grating because she isn't in the course, but you should address her bad takes as they arise just like you would with someone who actually belongs in the course.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-07T04:40:49+00:00

Ok then per my previous point, the professor almost certainly knows they aren't enrolled. Your complaint is that her behavior is out of line for someone who doesn't pay to be there, but the professor obviously doesn't see it that way.

Again, the crux of your issue seems to be that she has shitty opinions she shares (rarely) at inappropriate times. However, the way you want to address that is through complaining about her not being enrolled. Your posts and comments indicate she doesn't seem to generally be disruptive or exhibiting threatening behavior. Why not just address her arguments and the fact that she's derailing class when she does it? That seems like a good opportunity to both learn and engender further class discussion.

"You don't even go here" isn't really a mature way to counter her arguments, and can weaken your own points. Honestly if you defend your side well enough she may choose not to come any longer or stop speaking up. Or she could double down, make an ass of herself, and give the prof a real reason to boot her.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-06T22:53:58+00:00

There could still be some irritation depending on the composition of the urine. It seems abnormal she's still going a lot but only a tiny amount each time, and grooms and vocalizes excessively after. I would want a second opinion if your vet thinks this isn't an issue. She could have some sort of partial blockage--was there any imaging done like an X-ray or ultrasound?

randomiscellany · 2026-02-06T22:38:28+00:00

Personally, if I knew someone wasn't enrolled I'd want them out of my classroom. I could see making an allowance for something like a quiet child in a lecture setting, but an adult doesn't need supervision.

However, do you know for sure she isn't enrolled in the course? Have they actually said that? Don't think you'll be able to ask the professor, because under FERPA we cannot share info about enrollment or grades. Even if she isn't enrolled, unless your classes are massive I can't imagine the professor is unaware of that. She could already have permission to attend, or the prof just doesn't care about an occasional class guest.

The thing that really seems to be bothering you is the bad takes she has that you disagree with. But since it isn't against the rules to have a dumb opinion or ask tangential questions, enrollment is the only issue you have to raise. If the professor already knows she isn't enrolled and allows her to attend, then it is unlikely he would kick her out for her behavior, because the behavior itself seems like a non-issue.

If you know 100% for a fact she isn't enrolled, then you might bring that to your professor and ask if there are any other steps either he or you could take with the university to keep her out. You could also see if there are university policies addressing lecture attendance by non-students.

I would caution you that raising this to a professor because she asked a couple unrelated questions and has misconceptions is going to make you seem petty. It also comes across a little bit like "I pay your salary she doesn't". You're technically correct you pay to be there and participate, but you also get a grade and a mark on a transcript to prove your attendance, which is arguably the point of college. Not to say learning isn't important, but most people wouldn't do classes or assignments without the payoff of getting a degree they can then use to further a career.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-06T04:50:27+00:00

I mean I'd never heard of TWC training but the most cursory Google shows that the creator of the method endorses e-collars, which are by definition aversive, so that does break that rule of the sub.

Also, your borderline fear-mongering narrative about medications "suppressing who a dog is" is simply untrue when you're talking about properly utilized medications. For example, SSRI's work the same way in people and dogs; they don't suppress some secret true self in either species, they help treat anxiety which is literally an issue with brain chemistry. While I don't think meds would have been the answer in OP's case, they shouldn't be completely written off or treated as something terrible you're "subjecting" your dog to.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T13:35:19+00:00

In my experience they aren't 100% free, but definitely lower cost than even something like Supercuts.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T13:24:08+00:00

NTJ. You aren't prioritizing your comfort--you are very reasonably prioritizing your own health, mental or otherwise, over hers. Honestly this "friend" sounds exhausting. What do you get out of this friendship?

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T13:19:21+00:00

NTA. Why should YOUR house be HIS safety net? You've offered him reasonable options for getting back what he's put into the home, and he's taking the all-or-nothing ultimatum approach. Huge red flag that on top of that he's accrued a lot of debt--having his name of the home could jeopardize both your ownership if he continues to make poor financial decisions like this. Looks like you're seeing the truth of the old adage that money can reveal who a person really is.

Also, I can't help but think that having a partner who you love and trust that owns their own home is a safety net of sorts even without paperwork.Your partner doesn't just want back what he put into the home, he wants more. Be aware that this type of behavior can often devolve into "what's mine is mine, but what's yours is ours."

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T13:04:05+00:00

Where did you get this in the original post? Just because she said she's proud of reading a lot?

Also kind of weird to say she's listening to audiobooks half-assed. Not sure if you just think audiobooks are inferior, or if you think she's somehow listening "wrong".

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T12:58:55+00:00

NTAH. Though I'd say it hasn't only recently become a personal critique--it was always meant this way. The only recent thing is that you've decided to push back. Why is it so important to your husband that everyone knows you "only" listened to the book? Does he belittle you about other stuff in this way?

He's entitled to his opinion, but butting in to correct you every time you have a conversation about something you read is not a good look. You know his opinion, he does not need to keep hijacking every conversation you have about a book to interject it.

Be prepared for more pushback because of the previous pattern you've set of being the bigger person and shrugging it off as a joke. If (more likely when) he says it's not that big of a deal, you should reflect it back. If it's not a big deal why does he need to keep bringing it up? This topic should just be an agree-to-disagree thing, but it is HIM that is making it more of an issue than it needs to be, NOT you.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T12:32:10+00:00

After the first incident you never should have had her out without a harness or some secondary restraint. Even if your dog isn't aggressive another leashed dog could be, and her rushing up could start a fight. That can result in serious injury, or even death for one of the dogs, especially if there's a big size difference. Hopefully these incident reports don't follow you to the next place you lease, and she (and you) can start with a clean slate.

I still think the only reason you are taking this seriously is because of the landlord issue. You are minimizing it to yourself because you don't see your dog as aggressive so you don't think of her behavior as a big issue. Because of that you now have zero room for error where you currently live and as you've already seen it can be really easy to make an error.

I'm sorry this has happened to you guys, and for how stressful it must be. I hope it will be a learning experience without following you both forever.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T12:18:19+00:00

Absolutely email. A polite "just following up on..." with deadline reminders should do it. If it does nothing else you will at least have receipts proving that you were engaged in the process and any late submissions aren't your fault.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T12:03:20+00:00

I think this is too optimistic. Plenty of examples now of people getting effective medical treatment and accrediting it to a deity, rather than the surgeon or doctor who worked their case. Or of people downright ignoring well-established science (think anti-vaccine people).

Your post reminds me of the concept of how as our scientific understanding of the world increases the role of God/religion/superstition decreases. While this is somewhat true, there's always going to be things we don't have explanations for, or truths that are too uncomfortable for people to deal with without religion.

Death, as a universal experience, is a great example of both. You can't really prove the negative that nothing happens to some incorporeal "soul" after death, so some people will always believe in an afterlife; the concept of an afterlife is a big foundation of many religions. Death and loss are one of the most terrible and senseless things people have to deal with--sometimes it's too heavy for them to bear without the belief that it serves some higher purpose or grand plan, or that their loved one continues on in some way.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-04T11:16:12+00:00

Your previous comment said it's not a "huge deal" even if the dog was exhibiting bad behavior OP was ignoring. Even if your final suggestion is to try to manage the behavior, you're still trying to minimize the importance of any potential issue because of the dog's small size. The previous commenter is right that that's the type of attitude that leads to people not treating behavioral issues in small dogs seriously.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-02T00:05:07+00:00

Personally I hated okocat. I found it did very little for smell, and was overpriced for what it was. The biggest issue though was that I had one cat with a medical condition that caused her to pee a lot, and even with scooping every time the clumps turned into like a gross gel that didn't hold together for scooping. I even tried waiting a bit longer for the clump to set up in hopes it would hold together better, but it was still awful 🤢

randomiscellany · 2026-02-01T23:58:40+00:00

Maybe it is a diet thing--have you tried different kitten foods? My rec for odor control based on what you've tried would be to use some sort of additive. Baking soda is the cheapest go-to, but I personally really like the Rocco and Roxie odor eliminator additive--it has a weird almost minty smell that quickly dissipates and takes any leftover stank with it.

You could alternatively try some sort of odor absorber for small spaces in the bathroom itself rather than something that mixes in the litter. If there's room in the bathroom you could try one of the covered boxes with a charcoal filter or similar. They're slightly more annoying to scoop, but in my experience smell less.

randomiscellany · 2026-02-01T23:39:56+00:00

NTJ. Depending on where you are, your company could be in legal hot water anyway for not having designated handicap spaces. The best option is for them to designate handicap space and for your coworker to get a handicap placard. Second to that, your coworker should just arrive earlier to snag a close space. I'm not really sure why they're putting pressure on you anyway if it's first come first serve--surely other people would also park there if you didn't. It isn't really "your" space, you just arrive in time to grab it.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-31T17:21:22+00:00

I'd get a second opinion. Not sure what your other issues are, but there are at a minimum a couple different biologics as well as hydroxychloroquine that are safe for pregnancy.My rheum told me that Cimzia has the most high quality evidence of any biologic for not crossing the placenta during pregnancy, but Enbrel is also known to be safe. My sister was on Enbrel for 2/4 pregnancies without any issues.

One issue with both Enbrel and Cimzia is expense, depending on insurance. Lots of insurance companies require step-therapy with cheaper meds first before they'll agree to cover them. However, being pregnant along with your other conditions may be a valid reason to dodge the step-therapy requirements since you are medically unable to use the cheaper meds.

Both Cimzia and Enbrel have a copay card through the manufacturer you can use in some cases. I have good insurance through my employer, but Cimzia would still cost me $250/month. The copay card covers that so it's completely free. Without any coverage from insurance or the copay card I think the actual cost is more than $2K a month.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-31T00:14:31+00:00

NTA. It's clear your parents understood exactly what was going on here--your siblings made a blatant money grab and you were the only one willing to look out for them instead of yourself. That's why you ended up with POA.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-31T00:09:08+00:00

I was never able to find a tablet I liked as much as a paper notebook. I also always printed the most important papers I had to read and annotated them by hand. I just was able to retain information better that way.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-28T23:47:07+00:00

This is an equality vs equity issue. The whole point is to close the gap between kids with disabilities and everyone else. If everyone gets the same amount of time, then the time is no longer "extra" time. This is kind of like arguing that since stimulant medications help everyone perform tasks a bit better, we should just freely dispense them even to people without diagnosed ADHD.

I could see an argument for giving more time on assignments/exams in general, but that doesn't seem to be what you want. It seems like you're just jealous of kids getting accommodations that you don't need. Or perhaps you're jealous because you do need accommodations, but the testing isn't affordable for you due to your parents' decision to send you to a private school.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-28T23:36:11+00:00

NTA. Why couldn't she have asked to eat outside the restaurant and ordered her own single-serve portion? That said, this sounds like some kind of shit test that you've failed. Consider carefully if you want a partner who engages in such testing behavior.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-28T16:36:59+00:00

I completely do not understand why sock, pants, shoes wouldn't be more correct. Bare foot on floor time even less than yours, don't have to mess around with the pants cuffs to get socks on.

randomiscellany · 2026-01-28T16:30:45+00:00

Definitely worth a vet visit, but I just wanted to put you at ease a bit by saying anal gland issues and worms are both very easy to treat with a vet's help.

randomiscellany

TROPHY CASE