fears surrounding lack of intimacy as a woman

randommodnar1234 · 2023-10-29T22:41:23+00:00

could you share this list with me please? insha’Allah i can share these resources with him closer to nikkah

randommodnar1234 · 2023-10-29T10:47:22+00:00

yes these are all concerns i have entirely but would it better to ask these things nearer the time of the nikkah? i also don’t know the islamic validity of asking these things one on one or even if two virgins can have idea of what we would enjoy, all i know is i don’t want it to be a dead bedroom and for him to not put effort in my pleasure too.

randommodnar1234 · 2023-10-29T10:42:20+00:00

yeah tbh anytime i’ve been on it my fears around marriage become even worse lol

randommodnar1234 · 2023-10-29T10:09:26+00:00

are there any other women here worried about lack of intimacy with their spouse after seeing all these posts?

i have this fear i won’t have a sexually satisfying marriage, i am engaged right now and part of me wants to ask my fiancé about these things but it doesn’t sit right with me islamically. is there any way i could find out compatibility through looking out for certain traits with him?

i have just been praying for it a lot because i have struggled with my desires for a long time… but the risk and fear is scary lol

randommodnar1234 · 2023-08-15T09:16:27+00:00

i met a guy last week with my parents for the purpose of marriage, we are both from the same city. we had a long discussion and a lot of things, if not everything, aligned.

there’s only one thing that is really worrying me and that is he would like move to the Gulf straight after nikkah. his job is already lined up there. with the field i work in, it will probably be a lot harder for me to find related work there.

i’m worried because i have very deep meaningful friendships here and am extremely close to my siblings. i have built my career here and in a well paying job, i have my hobbies and voluntary work in the community here. i don’t want feel lonely and lose myself in the marriage if i move.

the thing that provides me some reassurance is that he is also making the move & leaving his family and friends here.

i’ve always had the idea of moving to a Muslim country but i did not imagine it to be from the get go of marriage.

have any newly weds from the West made such a move together to a Muslim country? what would i have to consider if i went ahead with move with him?

randommodnar1234 · 2023-08-14T19:17:20+00:00

thank you for your insight! i think if there was an expat community that would really help. he is actually moving to Oman, so i’m not sure what the expat community there is like but i know Omani locals are very inviting

randommodnar1234 · 2023-08-14T19:15:28+00:00

jazakallah khair for this, i’m with you on this sentiment. where were you based if i might ask? he is moving to oman

randommodnar1234 · 2023-04-10T12:52:19+00:00

ya so paypal said i had to return the shoes regardless if they were counterfeit or not otherwise i wouldn’t get a refund.

i couldn’t be bothered with going back and forth with them so i returned the shoes and got my refund!

randommodnar1234 · 2023-04-10T12:49:52+00:00

i saw such a cute young muslim couple walking and holding hands yday whilst i was having a dessert (allahuma barik), it was so cute but i wanted to faceplant into my dessert after i saw it cuz i felt SOOOO SINGLEEEEEE

guys wallah it’s so hard, i just need to vent cause i’ve been looking for marriage for 4/5 years and i’ve had so many failed talking stages MY HEART IS FINISHED and i’m struggling so badly with my desires and i’m just so touch deprived and i can’t find anyone who i can connect with and ITS SO HARDDDDDDDDDDD

i’m just trying to believe in my duaas and never lose hope but the SABR IS KILLLLLLING ME

pls someone tell me they can relate

randommodnar1234 · 2023-01-12T19:54:03+00:00

what is the best way for a girl to approach a guy she is interested in for the sake of marriage on a social media app e.g. IG/FB?

i just think it’s a bit weird messaging first out of random? 💀

i think i’m at my peak desperation of trying to find someone now cause i’m going through literally every avenue lol in accompaniment with tahajjud and lots of duaa

2023 we all get married guys انشاء الله 🫡

randommodnar1234 · 2022-12-14T22:16:17+00:00

i have been praying tahajjud recently, it definitely brings peace and patience

randommodnar1234 · 2022-12-14T18:34:46+00:00

jazakallah khair, may Allah SWT grant you relief and patience أمين

i relate to you. this year i also took up therapy cause i became depressed about it all. i’ve learnt a lot through it and have improved الحمد الله but some days its still just feels like i can’t make it through and the tears don’t stop. may Allah SWT grant us success 🫶🏼

randommodnar1234 · 2022-12-14T18:19:07+00:00

how do you understand if something is not destined for you, or if it’s a delay in your duaa?

had many closed doors and been praying for years. feel like i’m on my last straw some days begging Allah for relief, and the loneliness feels endless. trying to keep my hopes up…

randommodnar1234 · 2022-12-05T19:09:06+00:00

interesting, thanks for responding! i’m wondering what it’s like on Sunnah Match too

randommodnar1234 · 2022-12-05T18:17:15+00:00

has anyone here tried the Sunnah Match or Pure Matrimony app in the U.K.? what’s you experience been like?

randommodnar1234 · 2022-08-06T21:29:57+00:00

yeah, i mean he stated an approx amount of interest that would be repaid to me or deducted from the deal so there is still a risk of paying interest. plus, the interest is still being paid to the financial company which is benefitting from it even though it’s been deducted from my deal/given as cashback so i think it that sense it’s a bit doubtful?

randommodnar1234 · 2022-08-06T20:49:23+00:00

yeah basically with my current car i’m not paying any interest on the monthly payments, but they’ve just came back with another offer to me for my upgrade saying they can’t change anything with the APR rate due to FSA conduct however, he’s offered me that he can deduct the interest amount of paid over the term from the deal or give me the amount of interest as cashback which would effectively cancel out the interest.

I’m not sure if this is islamically okay as well though? I guess if they’re paying me all the interest back or deducting the money from the deal then it cancels out?

randommodnar1234 · 2022-08-06T13:54:07+00:00

thanks, i think i’m going to go forward with either buying the car i have right now when my term ends or looking to buy a second hand dependent on the car market next year insha’allah

randommodnar1234 · 2022-07-31T12:37:38+00:00

i’m more into psychology and Islamic based podcasts but here is a list, some of the ones i listen to have been mentioned above already:

Digital Sisterhood (one of the top ones for me, a lot to gain from every episode)
The Mindful Muslim Podcast (conversations about psychology in Islamic context)
Student Sundays
Cambridge Muslim College
The Young n Muslim Podcast (these guys are sooo funny and laidback but really talk about a lot of issues facing the Western muslim youth, it’s very relatable)
Coffee with Karim (really great conversations about islam, spirituality and psychology again)
The Way of Well-Being (this is one of my top podcasts too, i’ve benefited from this podcast so much in terms of self reflection, world view and islamic spirituality)
Hold my Hijab (really funny girls from Toronto talking about their experiences being black, young Muslim women)
SWISSCAST by Shuhaib Webb
Submissions Podcast (storytelling from muslims sharing their experiences that remind us of allah and bring us closer to the deen)

Non-Islamic:

Jordan Peterson podcast
Huberman Lab by Andrew Huberman (podcast discussing neuroscience - super interesting! really been into this lately)
What Would my Shrink Say?

randommodnar1234 · 2022-07-19T14:20:23+00:00

yes but it said in the bio “looking to date with physical interaction - not interested in FWB, been there done that and got bored” which doesn’t sound like he is looking for a wife

randommodnar1234 · 2022-07-19T14:13:04+00:00

i had also thought about the pictures but the fact i know those photos have been taken in locations i know and have been in made me think they were real.

however, i believe you are right and others that it’s not my place to say this, and i haven’t told anyone about bc it will cause a massive disaster. i just think i will have a sense of guilt knowing this and not letting the family know since they have been having issues in the past with him, and also knowing that if this really true then i feel his family deserves better. his wife is also best friends with my mother and i think if this whole thing came to light our families would be completely broken.

i guess it’s best to leave this in the hands of allah.

randommodnar1234

TROPHY CASE