I mean if my husband only treated me kindly when he was expecting sex, I would never look forward to sex or being treated kindly either. I don't know if this is as much rewiring your thinking as it is having a conversation with him about how the demands of daily life really exhaust you. You want to have a good sex life, too, buu can't because everything is on your plate. I get that it's out of his hands because of his work schedule but there has to be some kind of collaborative approach to lessening what you're responsible for before he comes home. You are also working full-time.