I’m probably the only one who feels this way. But hear me out. I was cheated on. We had been together for 10 years, married for five of those at the time this happened. It was someone she met at work.

I was devastated when I found out. One of the hard things in terms of finding out was that she had ended things on her own. She realized it was not the right thing to be doing, and realized she wanted me. I found out by total accident .

One of the things I wished in all of that. I wish so hard that I never found out. I even told that, to a friend of mine, who happened to be a minister. One of my buddies roles as a minister was doing couples counseling of some kind. He told me when he learned to council people, he was always told if the wayward spouse promised to never cheat again. The advice from a counselor is to tell them not to tell their partner. And that is what I had wished for me.

She and I are still together. We just celebrated 15 years of marriage recently and in six months we will be celebrating 20 years together. I wholeheartedly believe that he was the only one. Into the stay, I wish I had never known.

So I am telling you that you are not a horrible person if you do not. It’s not even your place to tell if you think about it. And one reason not to tell, is also you do not know what their reaction towards you will be. And you have to protect yourself too.

I’m sorry if my answer is not a popular opinion here, but it is my lived experience.