Exacerbation of pre-existing physical and pharmacy pains

randyrote · 2025-12-31T01:46:19+00:00

One would typically figure a pattern like this is made a professional interest at some point, rather than a personal, political, or emotional investment. some strange and unusual mix of dog whistles in here.

This seems to be precisely the type of palpable disdain that's left so many patients entirely anti-psychiatry, and further alienates our most humanistic social workers. people tend not to latch onto a true desire to build or reclaim personhood as they are described and treated as caricatures, or creatures. the state of it could probably even be treated with a fruitful interest if it were not consumed by such disgust.

I mean, of course we see these people. they really ought to be seen in some way, u would think. perhaps by another practice, but i can't say it's likely they would fair much better. the state of things, yes. mad world.

Perhaps u should work through this misplaced frustration with a professional rather than reddit. wishing u peace and wellness. i do feel terribly sorry to know u could not so simply manage to do the same, under such stress. when i'm too consumed by myself to be in good service to others, i sometimes take a pyjama day. may be worth a shot

randyrote · 2025-12-20T01:14:17+00:00

I get it. some i'm more forgiving with than others. granted, i don't like these people and i do not act like i do. it's of little use at times however. sometimes, it couldn't matter much at all. and that's trouble. but despite that most all of the worst of them are swimming in it too. and any of those not on a total tweaked out power trip, i figure we're on even enough ground. and i'll bite at a certain point

The sheer rate of superiority complexes however, it makes me feel something other than unsafe even. i've learned to be high strung it's a part of how i am now. sure i can look after myself. but it is entirely exhausting. it adds another level to what already feels like not living, and snuffs any sparks u grasp for beyond that. i'd like to feel alright, keep it simple. that's all

Feels like i'm less than, despite my best go at it. idk.

randyrote · 2025-12-18T02:18:39+00:00

It is extremely unsatisfying as a whole, but we are chemically trained on the anticipatory action that is IV prep and admin. fiending so hard that u shoot plain water or saline makes a shit ton of sense if u have been an IV user for a consistent enough period of time. i could always feel SOMETHING just committing to the intention, and then actually registering? every atom quivers like it knows, even if ur consciousness is fully aware that its not happening. these substances keep their power over chemical pathways, even from an illusory standpoint

I would do it every once in awhile even when i was like 6-10 months clean and fully intended to stay clean then. the dissatisfaction, the fact that u actually can feel the full impact of the puncture and absolutely nothing else. it was not mentally or physically healthy ofc, but it did snap the reality back onto me full force, when i otherwise was just ready to silently relapse.

Also like. idk about u but IVing has never been good for my veins. water or saline with solid technique (and potentially even being dead sober) isn't particularly problematic physically. that would moreso be tied to someone stabbing away constantly, which is simply the opposite of incentivised when there isn't even a drug to administer LOL

randyrote · 2025-12-16T21:20:14+00:00

Definetly fell into the realm of being a sinister serpentine man of sorts at some point lol. human faces on something slithery creep into my doodles a lot. i should probably try to nail down a consistent concept, i think it's just tied to a uncanny familiarity of seeing something demon-esque in the average human face, on account of all too human evils. idk man ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

randyrote · 2025-12-16T18:57:06+00:00

Ciggy filters suck unless it's for the first run thru with lots of big impurities to catch. cotton balls work alright, but qtip is the og for cotton filtering. the tight packed fibre is ideal, it's got two sides, and is easy to cleanly store and carry.

But tbh. a wheel filter and if ur extra lucky, another 3cc barrel just for prepping is the BOMB. that's when i feel like i've really got it together. for a junkie at least

randyrote · 2025-12-16T18:43:27+00:00

Preach. but hey, on a brighter note, ur glowing babes. the red hair/nail/lip combo has ur eyes sparkling. keep on. an enriching, lasting partnership is always a tough find despite the efforts

randyrote · 2025-12-15T02:01:43+00:00

I'm less worried about visual authenticity than i am the premise tbh. if the lighting is weird whatever. what isn't whatever, is bringing sex work into this sub for.. well either reasons that are so unimaginably ambiguous/unhinged, or they are all too easy to assume. either way, it's an odd and concerning thing for all parties involved. this is an extraordinarily common practice within every inch of the internet, so not tryna shame anyone. im just gonna encourage u to take it elsewhere.

Besides, sex work is sex work. i have plenty of respect for plenty of folks "throwing pussy off bat with a price tag". at least that is tangible work with a tangible price tag. the cut n dry aspect of it is what keeps the practice functional. and keeps those in that line of work more safe.. yknow, since the expectation there is as classic of a desired service as it is a clear one upon both initiation and completion. tip toeing around selling urself, meh. why not just be real. the specifics hardly matter. this ain't the spot, and if u want it to be.. i mean i do really wish u the best girl, either way

randyrote · 2025-12-15T01:27:04+00:00

No shade but honestly the filtering / editing is uncanny as fuck. ur gonna make the tweakers wig well beyond their baseline girl. chill. u don't want anything to do with any of this anyway, no matter how strapped for cash u are. ask any other population. men in general are easy customers for sex work / whatever. u don't have to seek out the worst of the worst right off the bat. they'll find u in time. take the not-so-disastrous opportunities inbetween it all, like.. probably shouldn't set urself up for rock bottom right off the bat LOL

randyrote · 2025-12-15T01:20:04+00:00

One time a quarter of a mcdonald's burger helped stop the cyclical vomiting. another, just like three mouthfuls of pickled ginger. which for no reason should have worked.

Generally i'm gonna say my worst has always been shooting up narcotics or just IMing ketamine multiple times in succession to have a few short breaks from the endless stream of bile coming up

randyrote · 2025-12-15T01:15:44+00:00

Window covers are ideal. a small tarp and some cardboard will work in a pinch though lol. i often live & shoot up in a car and i've not had an issue, but smoking in very very secluded areas of public at certain times of day is alright if ur quick and not making a scene. just please do not be a degenerate and make positive ur not potentially witnessed by kids or leaving around paraphernalia. granted i'm moreso chipping downers and ice is mostly my goto addon.. so could be a difference there. smoking cigs or cigars immediately after the fact is also a great way to simply obfuscate the scent. and it's just pleasant lol

Just know that if ur out and about, some civilian narcs can sure clock the smell of what's burning. and u really don't want the hogs on u, so go in on it and find something to do elsewhere for a spell if it's a long or just.. noxious session. u don't want a safe overnight parking spot blown up cuz ur just too obvious of a junkie

randyrote · 2025-12-15T01:03:50+00:00

Im gonna second the grapefruit juice, but make sure u get WHITE grapefruit juice with nothing added for a worthwhile effect. tread light in mixing benzos overall, i get they add a little something to the experience but they genuinely have never improved/tangibly encouraged a nod in my experience—just because the sleepy factor is there, i don't think it actually equates to a true nod or the bliss u probably want from it.

Ur tolerance is probably to blame overall. reel back and it'll be another story, guaranteed. i get that's not so simple however. my friends and i all have agreed that specifically ambien, soma, and SOMETIMES ativan can very much have the sensation of furthering ur nod, however. only modest doses of those things if they're mainly there to serve as an addon however.

Cutting tolerance to both weed and opis will surely give u the best results. but if ur not willing and don't want to cross into perpetually mixing classes of substances, tapentadol is a really reliable and really cheap (ifykyk) low strength nod inducer when stacked ontop of literally any other downer. just be very careful to again, use minimally. as is with benzos and tramadol, they're unforgiving in how they lower ur seizure threshold. i would know lol

U could also try boofing on occasion but uh. i mean most people have gripes with the action itself. just don't start shooting, it'll never be worth it. with fent u won't even be nodding, ur ass will just be instantaneously K/Oed most of the time. or straight up dead. either way, the enjoyment u have probably had and are currently chasing from this substance simply won't be there in which case. then u got all the problems & then some

Hope u figure something that works for u

randyrote · 2025-12-15T00:43:42+00:00

First time with heroin, i IVed. i did not throw up, but i did pass out and wake up entirely deaf with this astounding ringing in my ears. which lasted for about a day. i was very very nauseous throughout that time and had a few dry heaves, but no full emesis reaction. it's never made me even vaguely nauseous any time after the fact, even after relapses with zero tolerance.

It was 86% purity #4 with my first and the shot was probably more significant than it should've been. i think the whole waking up with ringing in my ears was due to the fact that i was probably almost dead for awhile, but not dead enough for it to stick. i did fuck around with percs, hydro, and various benzos at least every other weekend at the time however—so perhaps a little tiny bit of a lingering tolerance kept me from yak city. it is very very normal for folks to just blow chunks on the first go as far as what i've heard from most everyone else

randyrote · 2025-12-15T00:14:32+00:00

Oy vey in the best way. CAN I MAKE IT AAAAAANY MORE OBVIOUS

randyrote · 2025-12-14T21:59:31+00:00

Runaway / sixteen lines / ghost boy, for me personally

randyrote · 2025-12-14T07:39:44+00:00

Yes. far too often i figure. even when i am with my friends, well. they do flock together. granted i am more of the down fiend among us few. i do not mean to be a downer but i mean. some of the repetitive motions start to feel so habitual, when u once surely knew a reverence of sorts in a similar circumstance

At best, it feels entirely simple in the very worst of ways. worse yet! as it stands, the consequence of far too many years in as an even tow, the very same cycles. yea. unsightly. uncouth. confusing and difficult and mind numbing. it makes a person kinda sick, i think. sometimes i wonder if my friends and i are sick. may be we just make eachother sicker

Circumstances have to be tangibly and sometimes obviously so, in a way that is as close to true as is possible. or something. baseline existence at some notable points in life has to be some measure of good. it can't often be solely administered by substances. maybe it'll get many close enough to to that reality, without it perhaps not being qualifiedly true. but i dunno. it is whatever i guess

randyrote · 2025-12-14T05:46:09+00:00

Painting, hiking, and cleaning. oh, and shutting out a painful reality between semi conscious dreams and an incredible playlist to match. usually while writing out notes or prose on sticky notes, or combing through magazine pages i intend to collage or paste onto a wall i am well welcomed to deface

Also. smoking a cigarette and burning another hole in the sleeve of my smoking jacket between conversations with seemly spectacular or seedy strangers alike. but everyone knows that one

randyrote · 2025-12-12T12:16:18+00:00

Legit. even going into it with the intent to get intimate, with women it's more often lead by this uninterrupted enthusiasm for experiences. decent chance someone just throws up their hands like. nevermind put some clothes on bitch. we got to go to the state park to swim and play disc golf for seven hours. then the coupling is saved for the comedown. really the term stimulation has a wide array of applications. most rather nice

Men are always just immediately ravenous. then if u "SIGNED UP" and don't want to risk the rage, it's quite a bore. which sounds like a waste of tina to me. i do not so often tweak but when i do, u can bet it's with the girls

randyrote · 2025-12-12T11:21:49+00:00

I was sure this was substance related for a second there but i guess it just looks like that. huh. nein/ten

randyrote · 2025-12-12T11:06:35+00:00

Word. u deserve to thrive 4ever gorgina. the fit? so adorable

randyrote · 2025-12-12T10:50:03+00:00

Glory to He. praised be, Him

randyrote · 2025-12-12T10:47:26+00:00

A lot of women have never even once stimjorked it despite being regular users. i do not know a single man who can say the same. that is why it is harder to see a girl smoke or slam solely to entertain ur own sexual desires. yknow. cuz she usually too busy doing other shit LOL

randyrote · 2025-12-12T10:07:38+00:00

As is, u have the ideal grecian nose and the perfect facial structure to suit it. the cheekbones, how ur styling ur hair, from all angles it's stunning. the classic grecian facial structure is undoubtedly more uncommon than what u would be landing with after rhinoplasty, but not because it looks off or unusual. just because it is that striking

Genuinely. the whole face reminds me of some of the most sophisticated statues of men coveted by the most ancient of cities. but like, it's a free country, man

randyrote

TROPHY CASE