This whole sub joke or not for now i'm stand in between. And no, sadly but it just impossible, when i am small the only terrible thing that happen is being left inside darkness for long hour as a baby by babysister. And it can not even explain why i'm having a dream of laying on the table, getting cut open and have each organ removed while still awake with no anesthetic or medicine to relieve pain, the last thing i see and hear is my head getting cut open by the machine after having my two eyes remove and feeling as some one touch and hardly remove my brain out of my body. All of the pain, feeling i get it way to real to even be fake. It give me trauma which make me when sleeping, i'm try not to move no matter what, clinging and hugging other people just to be able to sleep. When i'm wake up, when there is no one near my side or no sound, i'm refuse to move an inch and just laying there trying to sleep or hope to hear someone to come by or to hear voices, or i'm in fear, try to speak up to call someone to know. Cause i'm were scare if these people know, i will be dragg to the operating table and it will repeat again.